How Much Money Will You Have When You’re Dead?

I’m not sure what the demographics are like on this site, especially since I don’t pay any mind to statistics and have a general disdain for that sort of thing–placing people into neatly fit boxes and the like. But I get the sense that a great many of you are under the tender age of 47.5. As you know, anyone older than 47.5 is strictly prohibited from viewing this blog and shall be executed on site, if caught doing so. Furthermore, it is the age at which “The Fly” will retire from blogging, pass on the crown to a younger, more deserving, trader/investor, who will carry on the traditions of financial debauchery, until he relinquishes said throne at 47.5 years of age.

When I was younger, I used to stuff money into envelopes, budgeting for the months’ expenses. One envelope was for “rent”, another for “electricity” and so on and so forth. I spent all of the money that I had, save my investments in the market, which I smartly spared due to keeping the dream alive, supporting a child and wife. I was in my early 20s and the market was an unforgiving monster. I couldn’t handle the volatility and money was tight for a long time.

I recall one New Year’s, being as happy as a troll inside of the comments section, because I had taken home the enormous sum of $4,250. Back then, I thought it was all the money in the world. Soon after New Year’s, my 8 month old son, wife and myself celebrated over dinner at the local diner. I might’ve ordered a “Romanian steak.” The whole meal had to cost no more than $50. But it was a luxury for me, as I was accustomed to living lean and eating even leaner.

As time went on and the market improved, so did my paychecks. I moved out of the basement apartment, which I rented from a bastard of a landlord, and into a brownstone. It took me a long time to move, since I always felt the good times wouldn’t last. A friend of mine, who started the business the same time as me, used to park his brand new Mercedes in my driveway–right outside my basement apartment. He spent his money as fast as he made it. He achieved success faster than me; but his didn’t last as long.

Soon enough, the checks grew from $4,250 to $10,000 to $50,000 per month and so on and so forth. It’s true when they say “the more you make, the more you spend.” Last month we spent upwards of $3,500 on groceries alone. We didn’t buy anything exotic or elaborate, just ordinary meat and vegetables from the local Whole Foods. We are consumers at heart. I think it has a lot to do with mortality and our desire to live the best with the time that we have here. Only a handful of us are able to save a lot of money. Most of the people I know would be flat broke, if it weren’t for their enormous monthly paychecks. Gone are the days of frugality, when people saved for rainy days and put money aside for their children’s inheritance.

These days, I’m afraid the stock market is used to finance the personal pyramid schemes people have going on. They spend so much money on gratuitous items; but make it all up in a week or two at the races, also known as the stock market.  Either way, this is an unsustainable way to live. Get your lives in order, man, else you’ll be singing the blues when this hit parade ends.

We talk about making money a lot here and have plenty of talented traders present to help you make more money. But no one tells you to ease up on the drunken spending sprees. You’re gonna regret it one day, as I’ve once regretted my debaucherous ways. It took a second wind to give my boat another go around, something I am grateful for. It’s not often that people are given a second chance at success. Most of the time you’re given that chance, through hard work or luck; and if you blow it, it’s gone forever. My grandfather comes to mind when thinking about that subject, a story for another day.

The moral of the story is: set up trust accounts, SEP IRA’s, invest in property before you buy that new Benz.  Be smart and try not to live your whole life now, for it’s going to last a long time and you’ll need some of that worthless fiat cash to get you through the latter years.

Everywhere I turn, traditional retailers are struggling, attempting to lure in customers via brick and mortar and fledgling online initiatives. Every quarter we are reminded of how AMZN is killing them and how identity theft is yet another reason to avoid shopping in stores.

Security needs can be accomplished via FEYE and CUDA.

Businesses need to secure files. IMPV does that.

The NSA needs to watch and analyze you. SPLK does that.

Parsing through data is hard. DATA can help.

Analyzing network performance and securing them: SWI, GIMO, PANW and BLOX.

E-commerce solutions: DWRE

I am sure there are many others. Feel free to contribute ideas.

Oh, and for those lazy retailers out there, trying desperately to lure people into their shoppes or online stores, I have just two plays, which should work for years: SALE and CRTO.

Valentine’s day was designed to allow a gentleman the opportunity to lavish his loved one(s) with concern (love), in order to demonstrate his magnanimous demeanor. It is a day to ennoble her with a high end affair, so that–she too–might enjoy a fleeting sense of entitlement before having to fetch the water and bathe the children.

I am going to reveal to you, in no uncertain terms, how a gentleman should behave on this illustrious day of love and decadence.

First, have your secretary send her two dozen, long stemmed, roses. If you err and send her just one dozen, you risk looking cheap and/or cliche. Also, should you send her short stemmed roses, you might as well couple the delivery with divorce papers–because that’s the type of signal you’d be sending.

DO NOT send her chocolate or any other gifts for that matter. Remind her that the unwashed stuff their fat faces with sugary treats on this fine day. Explain to her that “we’re better than them,” while offering a small kiss upon her forehead. The reason to avoid buying her gifts is simply a matter of manners. It would be rude of her to expect extravagant gifts on a day as sensual as Valentine’s Day. Reserve the diamonds and the shoes for her birthday.

Next, make reservations for the most expensive restaurant within 20 miles of your home. If it’s too far, you risk ruining the mood because of “gratuitous traffic.” The very best food is NOT important, only the most expensive.

At dinner, make sure to order for her. Do not humor her with the notion that she could make her own decisions. Real gentlemen always know what’s best for their ladies and provide for them. Marriage isn’t a democracy, but a benevolent dictatorship. To that end, be sure you watch her waist when you order. Too many calories could spell catastrophe for the longevity of your union.

Skip dessert, as it is the meal of gluttons. Anyone who relishes in dessert are underserving of being a gentleman and cast a terrible shadow over the longevity of his marriage. To embrace dessert is also to embrace obesity and assured death. Never forget that.

After dinner, take her to theatre, regardless of how she might feel about it. You know best and civilized society are patrons of the arts. It is your shared responsibility to attend theatre on this day.

After theatre, have your driver take you to the nearest 4 star hotel, reserved by your secretary at your behest. The details of this part of the instruction shall be excluded, in order to preserve the decency of the message, which is also part and parcel of being a gentleman.

Upon arriving home, bid her a good night and retire to the library, where you might read a good book, whilst smoking a nice pipe. Ask her to serve you some tea and to tend to the children.

There isn’t any reason to shoot higher, per se, but we do it nonetheless.

We’re at new highs; but earnings season is still 100% treachery.

Enjoy the Valentine’s day, while you can. Because soon enough you’ll be in divorce court absconding with half of your net worth to the vultures.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

GNC and VSI are getting smashed today, due to an earnings shortfall at GNC. Without equivocation, I believe this is a temporary set back. I am going to wait a few days for things to settle down, then buy them.

No one loses more than vitamin shoppes during periods of inclement weather. The sales, simply put, aren’t made up later. People will buy their stuff online and go about their lives, as if GNC never existed. However, there are true earnings power to these franchises and I believe numbers will look much better after the thaw.

Just my two cents.

In other news, FEYE is up like a rocket following its decline. I like BLOX here too; but would prefer to see it down about a point before I started buying.

I am sure the olde Senator Jakegint is making a small mint these days, lavishing himself with presents, and for his wife too, all thanks to his gold coins. While 2013 was an absolute bane to the precious metals geek society, it is a boon for them in 2014. Silver stocks are through the roof today and it’s only a matter of time before flyover country heads to their local pawn shop for a loan or two, where I will collect their monies (thank you very much).

There should be nothing else for you to think about, but gold, if it was up to me. I’d lock you in a cage and ask you to “kindly look over the balance sheets of several of these gold miners.”

Believe you me, at one point in my life, I was exactly like you, a non-believer, spitter at all things gold. I’d run about the neighborhood of Wall, buying up tech stocks, oil stocks, anything but gold. But then it hit me: by George, gold is going higher and I must get in.

With all of the craziness about me, the energy trapped inside of my pedestrian frame, I bought up shares of EZPW and EGO. The rest is history (true psychopathic rant here. Appreciate it).

So I ask you, “will you please step into the mine and do your duty?” I’d ask the same from my Mother, Grandmother and even my Great Grandparents, if they were alive.

We are 1% from new highs. The panic that was two weeks ago is over and it’s time to start thinking greedily again. But don’t risk your hide on earnings dice rolls. Stocks aren’t to be trusted, only pimped out and managed from a position of strength.

Let’s discuss inflation.

Here are some YTD returns for some of the more popular commodities

Coffee +27%

Natural Gas +22%

Cocoa +8%

Gold +8%

Silver +5.5%

Livestock +5.3%

Uranium +5%

Cotton +5%

Palladium +2.6%

Corn +2.1%

Oil +1.6%

For whatever reason, this is the over-arching trend of 2014. We can be stubborn and ignore it, investing in low brow real estate websites and the like. Or, we can obey.

The dollar was down another 0.4% today. I finished the day with just 5% cash, fully invested with a machine gun firing off rounds indiscriminatelty into space. Details are furnished inside of The PPT.

I’d like to offer you a loan at 15% interest, to be held against that nice watch on your wrist, or that lovely necklace around your ladies neck. What say you?

The underbelly of the US economy is booming. All they need is for the #1 source of collateral (gold) to trade higher and then these stocks (EZPW, CSH, FCFS) will head back towards all-time highs.

It’s the American way.

Top pick: EZPW

There was a time when I considered myself to be “an oil man”, “a coal man”, then finally “a gas man.” But, as fate would have it, I’ve become the very thing that I despised most “a gold man.”

Like it or not, gold is going higher. I am long gads of EGO and an enormous amount of EZPW, which is a double win for me, since they prey on the weak, disabled and vilely poor.

Go to your local pawn shop and hock your television, iPhone and watch. Take a loan and default on it. See what happens.

With gold trending up, EZPW is my single best idea.

Gold is back and I’m in the black.

I bought UNXL and EGO for a trade and initiated a core position in MA.