BREAKING: THE FLY ENTERS TRADING SLUMP

I cowered in my bed until 11am because I was afflicted with severe seasonal allergies. I find that when I am like this, it’s best to pretend being dead aka sleeping — because when that happens I suffer less. When I was awoken by a dream of mine of car horns bellowing out — I immediately sneezed and saw I was down 1.57%.

I did a little of this, little of that — and closed down 89bps for the session — placing me DOWN 1.57% for April. I am officially in a trading slump. Oh no — how will I ever get my mojo back?

Maybe I should read some books on charts or perhaps SIFT THROUGH 5,000 of them tonight over a bottle of wine to find patterns that will make me money! Or, maybe I’ll listen to some experts on a podcast and then listen to some hedge fund professionals about their secrets to success!

The market did an interesting thing today and I feeeeeeel like I was wrong to be bearish early on. Rates collapsing means less pressure on banks means higher prices. With rates dropping, this is also bullish for secular stocks.

So I did two things.

1. Eliminated all hedges.
2. LEVERAGED THE FUCK UP ON SECULAR STOCKS and a few banks.

I closed at 140% leveraged long into the final day of this holiday festooned week.