iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,614 Blog Posts

$TSLAQ CROWD BTFO — Tesla Shares Enjoying A Big Bounce Off the Bottom

I told you not to get involved with dat.

$TSLAQ FinTwit are now lighting themselves on fire in protest of today’s reversal, chalking it up to a “rigged market.”

Truthfully, and this goes without saying, TSLA shorts are the greediest people alive. This stock is already down 50% from the highs — but they’re not satisfied until GM and F are solely cranking out piece of shit America gas guzzlers and Elon Musk is in prison for crimes against the stock Gods.

In a perfect world, shares of TSLA will rise to $1000, mainly out of pure fantasy, and chop the dicks off the TSLAQ cadre, displacing them once and for all from civilized society and relegating them to the trash bins they deserve.

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10 comments

  1. tmmdn0

    The catalyst that will propel TSLA to $1000 is for Bill Ackman to announce a large short position.

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  2. juice

    50 years ago James Marshall wrote an instrumental alternately titled “the Ballad of Tesla”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21axW23ceKU

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  3. acehood

    Tsla shorts are crazier than Musk, ergo, it’s a long.

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  4. MoonshineDelight
    MoonshineDelight

    28% of the float is short.

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  5. ericbakerbruce
    ericbakerbruce

    Fuck electric cars. Nothing like the throaty growl of a gas guzzling V8. And I love the smell of exhaust too. Just like I love the smell of burning cow flesh…nothing better. I guess that new Beyond Meat tastes like meat (I haven’t tried it), but what the fuck does it smell like when you’re cooking it? Can you grill the shit and make nice flames over charcoal?

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    • wolfdaddy

      Read the ingredients. It’s complete shit and will turn your sons into homos in no time. Stick with the real shit

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      • numbersgame

        Actually, a big problem with the fake meats is that it will give you the body of the average American Alpha Male instead of the movie version: fat as fuck.

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  6. ferd

    There’s at least one industry that the Chicoms won’t dominate: music.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlPZHoV5Cw8

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  7. fidel cash grow
    fidel cash grow

    This market is ridiculously strong/resilient. I have some cash I need to put to work

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