iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,615 Blog Posts

Treat Yourselves to An Epic Sort of Grandeur This Easter — EXODUS FOR ALL

We’re in the midst of a total Exodus rebuild. Upon relaunch, FREE TRIALS will be eliminated, we’ll be focused on growing the platform, and prices will be going higher — I promise you that. To escape these horrible digital deaths, I strongly advise you to do several things now.

#1: Take a free trial this Easter Bunny Sunday and partake in the grandeur of the platform during the coming trading week.

#2: When said free trial is up, join the league of gentlemen and grandfather in your miserly prices. I know you’ve heard corny sales pitches before, such as “cheaper than a bowl of grits and half dozen egg breakfast” before — but it’s true.

Let me put it to you this way. Our annual rate is $499, or $42 per month. If you cannot extract value from me to match 42 fucking dollars per month — I might as well toss myself into a lit fireplace and get it over with now.

I AM A FUCKING MASTER in all things pertaining to high finance, a literal encyclopedia and depository of knowledge in all things, especially stocks and trading, an artisan sculptor of portfolios, and all around really great guy. Believe me, all of my best friends tell me this all the time.

Happy Easter — off to raze these southern fields with my style and panache.

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8 comments

  1. mx2101

    Breakfast? Have you been to Waffle House yet? Also check out a Publix grocery, generally considered to be higher end. I doubt you will be deep enough in the South to experience Piccadilly Cafeteria, lineage of Morrison’s Cafeteria. Not that you would want to, but it was a Sunday tradition for many.

    Welcome South, brother!

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  2. irma vep

    For everyone, totally non-sectarian, we are Easter People. Renewal, Rebirth and Resurrection. Dear Fly, you now embody “Amazing Grace.” Notice, the song has nothing to do with an organized religion. Not that I’m against it all. I use my brain and I choose what is right and wrong. I’m Catholic and I’ve come to realize that the prayer, ” Act of Contrition” is praying for God to forgive our transgressions against humanity. Simple transgessions as well as horrific massive transgressions. And remember, ” Only God Forgives”.. Ultimately great Refn movie. But we can forgive in our puny human lifes by not letting a transgressor off the hook but by moving on, forward, with our lives!

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    • juice

      God forgives and that’s that? Cool, because I was thinking of slaying 1/2 a dozen peeps for Christ’s sake, so if his father will forgive me for that, I’ll go right ahead and do it.

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      • irma vep

        Juice, Are trying to be a mental deficienct or are actually a mental deficient? If the latter, my sincere apology for expecting too much from you, Either way, Happy Easter Bunny Sunday to you and I’ll even throw in a Good Luck Egg. Good Trading!

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        • juice

          thanks brah ..same .. was just trying to take advantage of the gods generous forgiveness with regard to horrific massive transgressions

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  3. MSGT HARTMAN

    Better run on down to Buck’s Gun Shop and get your G19, a bunch of 17 round mags and a CCW permit.

    The black folk down there don’t like whitey.

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  4. flea

    “I might as well toss myself into a lit fireplace”

    Lighted. ‘… lighted fireplace’

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