18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,111 Blog Posts

Happy Father’s Day, Gents!

Well I suppose that’s somewhat insensitive to the women who’ve recently become men and now enjoy their beards and the many ardours of being a Father. Gone are the days of doing dishes and making Tommy a peanut buttered and jellied sandwich with a tall glass of milk after school. Now, since you’re a Dad, you have to clean the garage, sit on the couch and watch football, and drink beers and smoke cigars with your friends.

This shit here is hard work, so get used to it.

We have a lot of fun on these internets and I’m sure the vast majority of your wives hate Le Fly with extreme passion, for forcing you into a lifetime of wanton gambling and rap music degeneracy. However that may be true, always know that I mean well and only want you to become half alcoholic degenerates. The other half should be upstanding gentlemen of the first order, catering the whims of your loved ones, only smoking cigars and pipes in the long hours of the evening whence the children are fast asleep.

Enjoy the day gents and new gents alike. Eat hearty and plenty of bacon and hot black coffee, for tomorrow there’s work to do here — trading to and fro in the most ridiculous stocks known to mankind.

On a side note, my fucking coyote only wants to go out to eat worms off the pavement now. She has zero interest in the grass and couldn’t care less about defecating anymore — just worms — 24/7. She’s become a fucking retarded dog, seemingly overnight.

Tips hat,


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One comment

  1. lesurgeon

    Hey Chooch are you still smoking that old man pipe? Happy Father’s Day

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