iBankCoin

FUTURES ARE WAY THE FUCK UP — GET READY TO SKIN BEARS ALIVE

Pet peeve of mine incoming.

You faggots need to start using fair value when quoting the futures markets. Many of you seem to do this for a living and to this day do not know the difference between fair value and regular futures prices.

Dow futures are +170. First thing tomorrow, I’ll be closing out my hedges and allocating money onto the long side. Exodus members will get the scoop in real time, while the rest of you ham and eggers will receive the tiny morsels afterwards.

What we have here is a disconnect between reality and perception. The perception, mostly crafted by the corrupt media, is that Trump is being impeached tonight by a fucking porn star. Apparently, a billionaire in his prime fucked a famous porn star 12 years ago, while he was married. This could very well be the first time an elected President cheated on his wife and because of that, CNN is predicting Robert Mueller is going to bite his cock off.

The reality is Trump just bribed a fuckload of people with his bloated $1.3 trillion omnibus budget, bending the knee to Neo-con scum by appointing Bolton, and has ratcheted up the drama against Russia. If you stopped viewing this mass of borderless land as a country and only as a business, you’d feel a lot better about the dystopian society we’re drifting into. Best way for you to hedge yourself against this slow decline is to increase your power by building your net worth.

When in doubt, BUILD YOUR NET WORTH.

For the second time in a month, I’ll be allocating my cash reserves into SPY — thanks to a systemwide OS signal. Ideally, we get a morning slide — but don’t count on it.

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27 comments

  1. ironbird

    Cue the Hogg. Tiny fist with stick arm shoved up a Stormy night until the little guy gets puked out. Nice and proper.

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    • heckler

      Hey ironman, what are you gonna do now that Craigslist has banned the personal ads section, lol?

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  2. heckler

    Honestly, Stormy is fucking hideous. Maybe she was hot 12 years ago or something but I saw her tits the other day and it made me want to puke. And to think of Trump’s lard ass hitting that makes it even worse. Ugh. What the fuck.

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    • ferd

      It is disturbing that people elected a bottle blonde president who’s judgement is so impaired that he could get hard over that skank.

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      • heckler

        I guess that Mcdougal chick is kinda hot but what’s going on with her face?!?

        Is it just me or is her face all askew?

        It looks like Fly kicked Mcdougal’s face down a flight of stairs and it came out all cattywampus and buckled.

        And then you have Melania, who’s tits are ALSO all over the Internet, if you’re into that sort of thing….Jesus H Christ I think the fact that Trump is a major pussyhound is my favorite part about him

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      • moosh

        Yep, it’s even more disturbing that people almost elected a bottle blonde criminal who craved power so much that it was no big deal to shrug same type of small hiccups even while during a presidency, and whose judgement is so impaired that one tries to walk down stairs without the bubblesuit.

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      • sarcrilege

        I dont blame Trump for obeying marching orders given to him by Israel and deep staters…after all, his family could find itself in all kinds of accidents…one by one.

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    • acehood

      “You remind me of my daughter.”

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      • heckler

        Trump is a freak. I’m mean sure, Anderson Cooper probably eats dude ass, but I gotta think that getting some hookers to pull the golden pee pee trigger is right up Trump’s alley

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        • Dr. Fly

          I believe Stormy. Trump is a fucking degenerate, just like every single other NYC billionaire. Big shocker.

          I am sure some hooker is urinating on his face right now. I hear he likes to do that before killing brown people in the Middle East.

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  3. it is showtime

    1. the issue with Stormy is the Nda. those thinking this is about a mistress don’t have all the information. there is legitimate legal gray area
    2. bears are +3000 from the current top. get real.
    vix suppression back to 11 or 12 would signal the bullshit would continue. they havent done that. that’s “all you need” to know
    3. Vodka!

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  4. acehood

    LOL, more 69. He’s the posterboy (girl?) for our culture now.

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  5. NON Solo

    Fly, you don’t have an OS signal. We retest the lows, follow your boy Jeff K.

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  6. sarcrilege

    I have never heard of 69, never heard their shrieking but now that I have seen these niggas carry on like crazed jungle apes, I’d say forget the wall…it’s already too late to build the wall to keep this garbage out…

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  7. 12jc

    $SPX closes on the lows Friday. Market gaps higher Sunday eve overnight session with the “pajama traders” and you think you’re going to skin the bears?. The gap strikes me as what you DON’T want to see. Maybe it all works out but you just lost points.

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  8. dae42

    FAZ and YANG, yes? You’re a one man inverse etf. ??

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  9. probucks

    don’t more people care about futures than cash levels?

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  10. 99 lead balloons
    99 lead balloons

    i really think trump will dump melania and get back with stormy over the next few months.

    we really all need a good Cinderella story to get the USA back on track.

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  11. Cricket

    Welcome to the theater of the absurd.

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  12. heaterman

    Where was all this incessant shrieking when Billy J Clinton paid Paula Jones $850,000 to shut up?

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