iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,453 Blog Posts

FUTURES ROLL HIGHER; ASIANS REJOICE AS SANTA CLAUS PREPARES TO MURDER SHORTS

What a wonderful stock market. The NIKKEI is higher by 1.24% and Nasdaq futures are +31. Come this Xmas, I hope you and your families sincerely thank President Donald Drumpf for producing such grand American schemes that have brought forth these dreams. Do not pretend the Obama stocked market was any good, for it was a rancid mess of biblical proportions since 2014, beset with deflationary vortexes and a negative interest rate scandal that was destined to crack the world in two.

Now, thanks to MAGA, America is great again, and getting even greater.

The rich man’s tax cuts will provide gentlemen like me to carry RARE IVORY walking canes and diamond encrusted monocles, in addition to the very finest top hats money could buy.

With all of the money I made this year, I was thinking about buying a jaguar, an actual animal, and eating it. I could have my chef sauté it for me over a nice blend of couscous and fava beans — perhaps BBQ it with a coffee-chocolate rub. Also, I was thinking about buying another house, just to store things in. I am running out of space in my 1,200 sq foot garage and believe there is more to life than small areas of store belongings.

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10 comments

  1. ferd

    “diamond encrusted manacles” Indeed.

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  2. moosh

    I like it. You could start an Instagram or Snapchat or whatever the fuck and take pics of your jaguar food, and ask of different preps. It would be epic, indeud. Pro tip, buy america

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  3. badduck

    *Topped hat

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  4. it is showtime

    If you polled the average american, how many would know that Japan is directly buoying their stock market from the government?
    Not very many.

    Kind of preposterous for any other interpretations of stock market levels in general, to be anything other than, Fake.

    Fake U S of A

    Enjoy that for
    christmas

    Fake USA

    Fake Fake Fake

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  5. torrostrikesback

    Standard Sunday reversal opening Big.Ass.Licker.Selfie

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  6. acehood

    *Cousedcous

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  7. joyous__ending

    >With all of the money I made this year, I was thinking about buying a jaguar, an actual animal, and eating it.

    Just buy some pussy and eat it.

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  8. uglyflint

    A year from today $SPXU might be 2018’s shining star.

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