iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
17,115 Blog Posts

Market Losses Accelerate, My Cough Deepens, “The Fly’s” in Turmoil

I just got out of the shower, my third of the day. I hate to sweat, so whenever I do, I like to take a shower. On the matter of showers, I’ve had plenty of guests to my house over the years and I’ve never understood people who go to bed dirty, and rise bright and early to shower. You stupid fuckheads — you’re soiling your bed with your dirty bodies.

Anyone remotely serious about hygiene knows to shower at least twice per day, once at night and again in the morning. If forced to choose, the choice is simple — keep your bed clean and shower at night.

I shed about 1.25% today in my discretionary trades, a woeful display of investment acumen. I was bled out by FIZZ, OLED and others. I should not expect to recover said losses tomorrow, as I feel a wave coming and it’s geared to crash upon my head and ruin my weekend.

On the important matter of ‘dance orchestra’, who do you prefer: Al Bowlly, Ted Lewis or Ray Noble? Perhaps you’re into degenerate pop music and have no idea what I speak of. Maybe today I enlightened you to a better form of entertainment, other than the “hits” thrusted upon you by a bedraggled media.

My cough has taken on a baritone quality to it, which has perpetuated angst in House Fly — as I’ve become quite the burden. Do not worry, I am starving this fucking virus good and drinking lots of water bottles with vitamin c packets in it. I’ll be ready to play a game of croquet in no time at all.

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22 comments

  1. metalleg

    For the cough, I suggest Tessalon pills or Hydromet Syrup. The latter is a narcotic so no driving.

    Feel better.

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  2. newkid

    Oil of oregano will fix your shit, scouts honor.

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00EDJN4KM/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1

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    • Dr. Fly

      Finally a cure that I can get behind. How about I just sprinkle some oregano leaves on some bread with gravy?

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      • Dr. Fly

        I recall smoking oregano as a teen, due to lack of weed. It sucked. I felt like I inhaled a pizza.

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        • fryguy15

          HAHAHA!!! Once up on a time, my friends and I loaded a full bong of oregano and offered it to a chap we didn’t care for. Good times.

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  3. fryguy15

    Fly – Is Jeremy on vacation? I have an email out to him and have not heard back. Tnx.

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  4. og

    Showering at night? Are you Asian?

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  5. aj

    Fly, the Android app, she crashes. Can u check please

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  6. moosh

    I commend you Dr. Fly… sacrificing your body and mind for the sake of science and furthering human kind. Will you name this documentary “Super Undersize Me”?

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  7. bob smith

    As your personal volunteer cyber-psychologist, I strongly recommend 4 g of Taurine/day. Better yet, magnesium-taurate. Vegemites don’t get any Taurine from their diet and probably not enough magnesium/calcium either. Oh, and skip the C and D or reduce it and get ya some good fat from daily avocados.

    You’ll thank me later.

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  8. the dude

    Indeud. Your shower logic is impeccable. Even my cat has the sense to clean itself before bed.

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