A wise man once told me, ‘the problem with moving to Florida is that you’d become a Floridian.’ After years of visiting Disney and seeing some of the worst people in the northeast venture down there for a ‘better life’, I began to realize this great man was a sage.
As everyone knows by now, a big storm is heading for Florida — forcing mass evacuations. The Mayor of Miami Beach, catering to the Sharknado tier IQ of his constituency, labeled it a ‘nuclear storm.’ The Governor has warned residents ‘you’re not going to survive’, demanding that they leave.
Fine.
Then answer this for me. If everyone is leaving the storm zones, why the fuck are Floridians stockpiling on water? They’ve even set up trackers to tell citizens where to get gas and water, as if Atlanta didn’t have enough water for them.
Here are people scrambling to get some water, just before being forced to evacuate.
Do these people believe Hurricane Irma will wipe out the entire state, leaving it without fresh water supplies? Or, are they taking the water with them to Atlanta, fearing Georgia didn’t have enough for them?
Hard questions need to be asked and we northerners demand answers.
Are Floridians, as a whole, retarded?
Separately, I’ve been reading some reports that suggest ALPHA MALES are buying the shit out of La Croix, designer sparkling water, ahead of Irma. Here’s a snapshot of a man contemplating which flavor to buy: Pamplemousse or Pina Fraise?
Alpha Male deciding which La Croix flavor to buy
On a personal note, I ate 1 roasted pepper and a hummus wrap this morning, alongside a black coffee, whilst listening to Al Bowlly ‘dance orchestra’ music — hoping to make mass coin in my FIZZ-FAZ positions. Then it dawned on me: I am the exact opposite person now from who I was when I started the blog.
Back then, I listened to gangster rap music and made a big fuss about everything. Now, I listen to music from a century again, calm as a cucumber.
I used to buy MNST stock — because I was always hopped up on energy soda. Now I own a faggot water stock and post pictures of ‘alpha males’ deciding on which faggot flavor they’re gonna purchase.
‘Tis is life.
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Don’t know about the general mental capability of Floridians, but the beaches are full of gold digging bimbos – at least when the sun is shining.
“Alpha Male deciding which La Croix flavor to buy”
best caption ever.
Yeah, more like emasculated doubly effeminated beta french fruitcake. That limp wrist tells the entire story. You bunch of cuckolds have been so conditioned by the faminazis you can no longer see the difference between an alpha male and faggot. Shame on you!
His shirt might be a dead giveaway.
Although you may be the exact opposite person, you are still a gifted writer.
We’ll see how this storm turns out.
Plenty of dumb people everywhere. Think of people buying massive quantities of toilet paper prior to a 6 inch snowfall.
You also used to throw old men in wheelchairs wheelchairs down idle elevator shafts,sell VIZ T-shirts, and take off shower heads without turning off the main water valve.
But, hey we all evolve.
Yes, there are many Floridiots but having some real nutty relatives in Ohio and Colorado I can tell you there are crazies everywhere.
Did you see the tourists from the UK wearing fanny packs, wearing black socks with sandals, and eating a giant smoked turkey leg whilst at Disney? Maybe you thought they were Floridiots.
Anyway, I had a neighbor down the road stop me and she said she was going to fill two tubs with water so she had water to drink. Didn’t have the heart to tell her it is to be used to flush the toilet if the electricity goes out.
You should get one of the newer toilets, it runs entirely on water pressure and gravity.
I am reporting live from Florida after leaving out of Naples this morning. There is a lot of fear mongering to get ratings up right now. Some stuff is very real some stuff is complete lies. Palm Beach is just a breezy rainy day. Other places will get hit.
I think 2100 era history books on Florida will be fascinating.
Last night Google traffic map shows traffic fine leaving Florida. Very few red/jam areas.
We likely only get one shot at life ..why live it as only one person.
French alpha-male
I’m still waiting for that abrupt right turn north Irma is supposed to do. As a contrarian, I bet it goes straight west and down into Cancun, extra border wall!
Yeah. They got a herd of buffalo to run. Running where who knows. Interesting times.
Is Le Fly doing hot yoga now too?
Fly is more of a goat yoga type.
http://www.floridatoday.com/story/news/2017/04/04/goat-yoga-yes-s-real-thing-here-brevard/99695364/
https://www.visittampabay.com/tampa-events/details/goat-yoga!/65312/
Ha…I would do that –
assuming my goat doesn’t go goat and and eat a piece of me just because goat brain says to chomp chomp chomp, hop, namaste.
I can’t think of greater idiots than the mass of “weather forecasters” who couldn’t have been more wrong about the direction Irma would take.
Why not just flip a coin and call it a day? Whatever “models” they were using were wrong and should be thrown into the eye of Irma.
They call whatever will give them the biggest bang for the buck. Even if they had a strong indication that the storm was likely to cross the gulf and hit Mexico or Texas, that wouldn’t serve their interests. So first it’s Miami with depictions of what it would like under water. When that myth is busted, they move onto the next plausible highly populated area and that’s Tampa.
If it ultimately hits Mexico, they would have gotten over a week out of a hurricane that was never coming to the US mainland.
Against the stereotype there are alpha gays and conservative gays. But they are minority of a minority group.
Rare photo of the fly.