iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
17,003 Blog Posts

Spent the Night in a Bohemian Hotel Lobby Playing Pool

I’m in coastal NJ for ‘vacation’ in a hotel that can only be described as ‘bohemian’. The bartender didn’t have faintest idea how to make a proper French Martini, so I opted for ordinary dirty ones. I was in the lobby all night due to the torrential rains, with my family and also my sister — a rare occasion.

Since we were stormed in, food was ordered into the lobby, a place beset upon by at least 30 people, drinking and playing board games and billiards — an odd pastiche of people ranging from orthodox jew to NJ shore moron. My dog was present, barking at anyone who made odd movements, which I encouraged, much to the chagrin of Mrs. Fly.

I tried my hand at billiards tonight, something I hadn’t done in at least a decade. I approach the table with supreme confidence, having played this game every weekend during most of my teenage years. At first I was impressive, hitting balls at a fast pace with extreme precision, reminiscent of a pool shark you might’ve seen on the teevee or even in person. It wasn’t long before that shine wore off, exposing my amateurish skillset. I imagine this is how many of you feel trading on a daily basis. For that, I am deeply sympathetic.

God damn it, I wasn’t any good. As a matter of fact, it was a disgraceful display of adult athleticism. I looked like a god damned blogger out there, hitting and missing — knocking balls off the fucking table in front of an audience of cynical fucked faces.

All in all, this place should be condemned. No human should have to live in quarters as lowly and valueless as this. Nevertheless, I press on, enduring this personal shame and indignity for the benefit of my family. Some might say this makes me a ‘great man.’ To those people, I say thank you and strongly suggest avoiding hotels with pool tables in the front lobby.

I have a long morning ahead of me tomorrow and I am busy reading old newspapers, so I’ll see you when I see you.

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12 comments

  1. C. Montgomery Burns
    C. Montgomery Burns

    Maybe bumper pool is more your speed.

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  2. ironbird

    Of all games of chance. Why the fuck is the cue ball white. Be careful being around these things.

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  3. Cricket

    Fly, they say that wisdom comes from one’s foolish mistakes. From my extensive experience of these matters, I’m still waiting for wisdom.

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  4. t.c.

    The only nobility in life is to suffer for something important, the rest is a cheap carnival ride more or less.

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  5. Raul3

    lol

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  6. yourlame

    let me guess you have a lap dog…. who brings there dog on vacation ? so lame

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    • natehois

      0/10 troll attempt

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    • Dr. Fly

      Who brings a dog on vacation? I do, apparently. Every hotel we’ve stayed at this year has been dog friendly. My dog has enjoyed herself quite a bit this year, one of the kindest hearts you’ll ever meet you miserable wench.

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  7. hedge500

    Must admit, I much prefer these life posts to the political ones.

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  8. unrelated

    It’s not just the vulgar nature of the blog that is tiresome, but the overall content and commentary is quite boring and also a dirty reflection of a trending out cultural phenomenon with not much more to offer. Don’t worry, I’m not going to Yelp this comment!

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  9. mx2101

    I was wondering about your dog earlier this month. Good to see you still have her. I agree with your kind feelings towards a pet. I have a couple friends here who happen to be cats.

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