iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,470 Blog Posts

America is Best Represented by My Ridiculous Twitter Feed

I’ve just about had enough of the news these days, but I suppose that’s what ‘they’ want, which creates an interesting paradox for me. I don’t think the news is designed to create a sense of apathy in people, but it happens as a byproduct of untalented, uninteresting people.

One of the ways I keep in tune with current events is to peruse my Twitter feed, filled with main stream media larpers, politicians, money managers and self avowed market gurus. Each and every time I get finished with it, I hate the world a little bit more, become dispirited, and lash out via a profanity laden comment or blog post.

I just took screen shots of my feed now and will now walk you through it, offering my thoughts on the matter.

God damned degenerates. How do we get rid of these people?


I hate this man and hope he gets ran over by a military vehicle, for its ultimate irony.

The risk-reward here sucks.

This is the most overrated book of all-time, written by a god damned illiterate. I don’t mean to sound elitist here, but if you like this sort of drivel, I highly suggest you read some classics to see what real writing and prose looks like.

Why do we need to raise the debt ceiling? Why won’t the fuckheads in government balance the budget? This is beyond ridiculous.

The innocence of dogs is refreshing.

Who gives a shit?

These Fox fuckers are just as bad as CNN — divide and conquer. We all know it — but do nothing about it.

What the hell is going on here?

The President is powerless. The Constitution is toilet paper.

Jake Tapper is a supreme faggot.

Mob of angry black people demand the President be removed, whilst holding up signs that ‘hate isn’t welcomed here’. How sweet.

Nothing is worse than neocon never Trumpers. I’d like to view them being treated upon the Catherine Wheel, wearing my favorite Ray Bans.

Why does she larp? She’s made a mockery of herself and is infected by the ‘my opinion means something’ syndrome. No one gives a shit lady. You were fired. Get over it. God I’m angry.

I am convinced John Kasich is actually the devil himself.

Of course Mayweather beat the wrestler. What a sham. Who though the Irish guy would win? Kill yourselves.

There are so many things wrong with this picture. It’s ridiculous.

The cromagnon speaks. Fucking caveman motherfucker.

Jesus Christ this is the most retarded picture of all time.

I will not. God isn’t listening — because he isn’t real — you fucking idiot.

Why, why, why?

What the fuck is her problem?

^^^And that’s what goes through my mind, 3-5 times per day, while thumbing through my ribald twitter stream — filled with garrulous parasites who think their opinions matter. When I was younger, my road was paved with shiny, optimistic, inspirational little bricks. I forged ahead like a true fucking idiot, ignorantly thinking my road would lead to some sort of utopia. What I didn’t realize at the time, and this is a very complex subject, is that the winners and losers have been selected beforehand. Everyone else are merely pitted against one another for the scraps. While we hem and haw, attempting to realize true happiness, the fuckheads in charge lay waste to future generations — so it will be easier for them to dominate and enact their diabolical schemes.

The cycle will continue until the road is drenched in blood.

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28 comments

  1. natehois

    That “What the Health?” Documentary was one of the most biased and poorly put together docs I’ve seen recently… I’m surprised it had such an impact on you- I would’ve thought you’d have turned it off when they said “promoting dairy is institutionalized racism”. I mean come on dude.

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  2. mad marsupial

    The news has been getting me down too. That’s why I clicked on your site. I knew you’d cheer me up! This was hilarious. Maybe we should all take a vacation in Venezuela to get some perspective. Unfortunately, the State Department preempted my vacation to North Korea.

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  3. probucks

    Expert conclusion

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  4. heckler

    Hey Fly have you read Lord of the Rings? I mean not the movies and shit but the books?

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    • Dr. Fly

      I never have.

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      • heckler

        I’m geeking out on it hard right now. The level of depth and insight. It’s a creation of the modern myth, but certainly I would consider it a classic. Also obviously highly popular and successful. Unparrelled as far as I can tell.

        Tolkien was born in the late 1800’s. I’ve started to explore him as an individual and I’m thoroughly impressed.

        One thing we lack now is imagination.

        Also the chaching issue remains a problem for me. I’ve attempted two browsers just now on my pc but the comments are fucked. As of now I don’t think the problem is on my end. My phone is working however… Usually it’s reversed.

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        • ironbird

          For the love of God. Dude. Good luck figuring it all out. “Imagination” is a good a place as any.

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          • heckler

            Can you remember what it was like when your mind was free?

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          • ironbird

            Are you fucking joking. The mind was born free dumbass. That is the whole point.

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  5. Cricket

    Twitter is being shaped for negative outcomes. Beware.

    Beginning to think that political parties should be abolished and candidates for the House of Senate should be selected at random from a pool of 100,000 citizens of appropriate character from each state for a 6 year fixed term. Military service history is a bonus.

    Here’s something that will fry your brain: reading the Constitution of the Confederacy, it:

    – Explicitly strengthened states rights.
    – Explicitly prohibited control of tariffs at federal level
    – Explicitly limited involvement in infrastructure at Federal level
    * some exceptions for common good
    – Single fixed term of 6 years for President
    – Gave President line item veto power
    – Abolition of indentured servitude
    * protected by the US Constitution until the 13th Amendment
    * 48% of whites in the colonies arrived as indentured servants
    – Abolition of international slave trade

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    • ferd

      “Military history a bonus” Maybe not a bad idea in 1947. But not now for fuck’s sake.

      As for the Confederate constitution, its effect would have been to further enfranchise those who ALREADY owned people and increase the value of their “stock”. Moronic flag-waving southerners going to war for the elite …some things never change.

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      • Cricket

        “Moronic flag-waving southerners going to war for the elite”

        Versus moronic flag waving northerners going to war for the elite. As the “Moronic flag-waving southerner” Robert E Lee said when he was offered, and declined, command of the Union Army:

        “My country, Mr. Blair? I never thought I would live to see the day that a President of the United States would raise an army to invade his own country”.

        What I was illustrating with this information was that the war was never about slavery, the contents of the Confederate Constitution clearly illustrate that it was about the sovereignty of the states versus an all powerful federal government.

        So when you mention elites, just remember that the elites in Washington won that war, and they have now become, not just American elites, but global elites, laying waste across the world, just as they did to the south.

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  6. it is showtime

    Par excell’ence

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    • moosh

      Show, if there was ever a time… just please give your blessing that it’s ok to short $CVS

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  7. cancel19

    Fantastic blog there Dr. Fly! I enjoyed it and want moar.

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  8. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    This is EXACTLY my feeing on a daily basis which is why I stopped using Twitter in the past couple of weeks. I don’t need the bullshit.

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    • Cricket

      Twitter will alter your DNA. Some people even gain extra chromosomes. The Bill Kristol effect.

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  9. zephler

    It’s now so easy to understand why old men are so grumpy all of the time – the feeling will only get worse : /

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    • moosh

      If you knew how much these “service” /govt companies are paid with your tax dollars, you would shit a literal brick

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  10. Raul3

    9Gag is the lithium of twitter accounts. A few licks and you’re right as rain

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