iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
16,986 Blog Posts

TRUMP REDEEMED: He’s Not Gonna Let Canada Get Away With It Anymore (NOT A DRILL)

I hereby forgive Trump for nearly starting a World War with Russia, because he’s given me the war I’ve always wanted. Ever since I was a young boy in Brooklyn, I wanted to attack Canada, kinetically. My theory was brilliant: they’d never see it coming. Ergo, we could pillage all of the Northern Wastelands at our leisure, whilst canceling all of their MLB baseball franchises.

Trump was back on his FUCK NAFTA game today — declaring Canada to be an enemy of the state because of the crimes they’ve committed against our beloved dairy farmers in Wisconsin and NYS. Frankly, it’s disgraceful what the Canadians did — taking all of their cows and forcing them to piss milk for a fraction of the cost in the Canadian wastelands.

I’m not even going to research this delicious piece of rhetoric. I am simply going to let my emotions get the best of me here and permit my intuition to be my compass.

The Canadians will be stopped. Trump looked more pissed off today, because of those poor devils in Wisconsin, than he was at N. Korea for messing around with weapons of mass destruction. He means business.

Fuck you Canada. The day of the rake approaches with a feverish alacrity.

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25 comments

  1. mushroomz

    wtf I love Trump again

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  2. heckler

    Have you ever noticed how all the Canadians in the show South Park have bobble heads? Sasquatch women and waste milk for the rake

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  3. sarcrilege

    Great. Why not? Fuck Canada because if you don’t like NAFTA, you will get the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) free trade agreement from Trump, the flip-flopper in chief instead. Better yet, you may get the TTIP on top of it because that is good for global order. Sheesh.

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  4. 99 lead balloons
    99 lead balloons

    Canadian team will win Stanley cup this year!

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  5. dcolella15

    Fuck the Blue Jays

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  6. stries

    Classic. Take away MLB- hilarious. They are musical terrorists as well. We definitely are building the wall on the wrong border.

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  7. cancel19

    But but, I like RUSH! 🙁

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  8. bob smith

    I think we should just invade and overtake Canada. Why haven’t we already? Doesn’t make sense. Probably because we already have enough people on EBT cards.

    After a short fight by the mounted police (are they even armed?), it would be over. Canada would be ours and then we could invade Russia with greater ease by sending our young men and women marching over the North Pole.

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  9. ferd

    Canadian radio and TV was broadcast into the homeland during the election last year. Who knows what effect they had when they hacked our democracy in this manner. An act of war!

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  10. smarticusrex

    This just in – Trump just saying what they want to hear in Wisconsin. A lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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  11. traderconfessions
    traderconfessions

    All prophesied in South Park.

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  12. one-eighty

    We should put a tariff on Harley’s. Call it a duty on overpriced chrome plated shit.

    Vancouver

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  13. margin call

    We have a couple dozen obsolete US cast-off fighter jets and maybe three rusty old naval vessels. So do not fuck with us.

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  14. zeena

    This is so funny. Us Canadian savages!!!

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  15. Mav

    Lol- Trump is a joke.

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  16. soupbone

    I love that Canada is more of an annoyance to you than your very own Washington DC. Now that is a place that needs floating off shore and sunk.

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