Good news for you Applefags today. Apple has unveiled their latest color and it’s blood red. All monies earned through the sale of the red iPhone will go towards programs for HIV and AIDS — because nothing says ‘fuck aids’ like buying a $750 red phone, making oneself look like a Russian communist Nazi bastard in the process.
The new ‘special ed’ phone will come in 128gb and 256gb configurations.
The (red) program that the new phone will help finance will only serve people in sub Sahara Africa. Ergo, if you live in America or Europe, South America or Asia and have aids — fuck off — for Apple only wants to help persons living below the Sahara desert.
Quit shilling
Also, they’ve launched a new iPad, which is just like the old iPad air2 with subtle upgrades. The main selling feature is the price — starting at just $329 for 32gb, even poor people can afford it.
It comes with an A9 chip, making it faster, 8 megapixel camera with 1080p video and 1.2 megapixel FaceTime cam with 720p vid recording.
What are you waiting for? Head out to the mall and buy a few.
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crazy, when your latest product upgrade is colour (extra Brexit English)
Or Amazon… Malls are dead bro!
How much are you deadlifting these days, bro?
Did 500 lb for 1 solid rep. That’s enough for me. I tend to stick with 315-405 for working sets. No more 1 rep maxes.
I have plenty of red spray paint in the garage if I ever feel the need to change over to the Red Phone..
Good thing that we can trust 100% Apple not to upload your retina signature from your selfies to the central database at NSA/CIA/FBI/IRS/zionists/etc. and cross-reference it with Mosad…..oh, wait..
I was under the impression that “black lives matter” not that “African lives matter”! Who the fuck knew? Extra Tim Cook has no lover yet.