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18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
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Details of the Southern Border Wall Have Been Released: It Shall Be ‘Aesthetically Pleasing’ on the American Side

Details of President Trump’s glorious border wall plans have been released, and it doesn’t disappoint.

The southern border wall will be an imposing structure, hopefully seen from space, standing at least 18ft tall, ‘aesthetically pleasing’, and resistant to Mexico’s favorite tool, sledgehammers.

It’s worth noting, the arresting beauty of the wall will only be insisted upon where it faces America. The Mexican side can look like the inside of a prison cell, and Trump couldn’t care less.

Hundreds of contractors are bidding for the job, which will run into the billions of dollars — stretching 1,933 miles — which has caused Senate democrats to chimp out and use whatever power they have left, from the Obama years of party self destruction, to block the wall by shutting down the whole government.

The wall must be climb resistant, grappling hook resistant, and prevent tunneling from within 6ft of the surface. If Mexicans want to make it into the country illegally, they’ll need to keep digging, to truly earn their crime.

Source: Bloomberg

The wall must also be able to repel someone equipped with a “sledgehammer, car jack, pick axe, chisel, battery operated impact tools, battery operated cutting tools, Oxy/acetylene torch or other similar hand-held tools,” the government said in its order. The concrete wall should be strong enough to delay a breach 12 inches (30 centimeters) in diameter by at least an hour, the alternative wall for at least 30 minutes.

And in a Trumpian twist — the New York property magnate did pledge a “big, beautiful wall” — the north-facing side must be “aesthetically pleasing in color, anti-climb texture, etc., to be consistent with general surrounding environment.”

Contractors will be asked to build mock walls of 10x10ft in San Diego before being approved and hired by the government.

Concepts are due by March 29th.

The wall cost is expected to run anywhere between $12-21b, all of which will be paid for by the Mexican people. The Trump budget has called for $4b in funding for 2017 and 2018 to get the project started.

“Does that build the whole wall? No. It doesn’t. But it gives us a start on the program, and you see some of the wall being built this year,” Office of Management and Budget director Mick Mulvaney said at the White House press briefing on March 16. “Obviously we increase funding in 2018. But the wall will take longer than two years to build.”

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22 comments

  1. ironbird

    Indeed. A moat filled with Mexican faucet water would add extra Big League. Go ahead drink it. Add some golden spikes with impaled pedo libtards every 20 yards or so. Problem solved.

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  2. ericbakerbruce

    Pedo libtards impaled on said spikes should consist of dopefeller, traderconfessions, peaches (where art thou), and the geighest of geighs- bennyshill. Feel free to urinate on them all.

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    • cancel19

      Don’t forget it should include some frog traps. Oh BTW where is frog? Extra Kek or Kermit!

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  3. traderconfessions
    traderconfessions

    Aesthetically pleasing? Why didn’t Trump say so earlier! In that case I have no objection to spending 20 billion on a wall. Hell, we spend tens of millions so that Baron Trump can attend a fancy NYC school rather than attend one in DC (at least that’s what Trump-hater Melania says) and Trump can play golf (10X in eight weeks).

    What is over/under on Fuck Trump graffiti on both side of the wall? Long paint remover.

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    • ironbird

      Pick a hole libtard. Any hole will do. Prepare to be impaled. On a Big Beautiful Wall.

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    • ericbakerbruce

      The Great Wall of China has nothing on our glorious wall.

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    • BenCBrainard

      Haha, Fuck Trump graffiti. Nice

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  4. chuck bennett

    Poor frog.

    Was Kek created around him/her or did she/he borrow the frog instead?

    Frog , RIP. But, Kek lives

    Regards

    Chuck Bennett

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  5. moosh

    It would be pretty cool if there was some kind of energy, ie solar application somehow integrated into the wall paid for by Mexico.

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    • s.k.

      Yea man….it would be pretty cool if it made hotwings too and had PS4’s integrated on the MURCA side.

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      • moosh

        Now we are thinking…I was just talking about powering the MAGA sign seen from space, but you are opening up a whole new set of options.

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  6. Dr. Fly

    How about anti-graffiti wall that shoots anyone who spray paints on it?

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    • moosh

      AI robots doing drivebys in self driving ubers whenever a 6ft infraction of space to the wall. There are going to be cameras everywhere. Drones with 360 degree camera overhead flying the wall too.

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    • moonshot

      I’m sure the folks who invented the anti-pee wall “the wall that pees back!” Can come up with some nice tech for this.

      I tried to post a YouTube link but it seems the spam filter has quarantined it. Search for anti pee wall and you’ll find it.

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  7. levrage

    Trump will be banging his head against it long before it’s done.

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  8. bennyhill

    “Wake up stupid white people!”

    Do you know how many tunnels under the border have already been dug even without a wall? They have tunnels that TRUCKS can drive through. Build a wall and they will be burrowing right under the construction crews.

    Not to mention the communities ON the border are vehemently against a wall because they know they don’t fucking work.

    How can people be such imbeciles.

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    • moosh

      And yet you fall into another trap, over and over and over and over

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    • ironbird

      bennyhill is a fucking Paki. Or a Mexican.

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      • bennyhill

        I hope your poor kids meet your bigoted standards, for their sakes.

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    • moonshot

      Something tells me it won’t be hard to build some seismic sensors into the wall to detect burrowing. And the site surveys can find those truck-sized tunnels for priority filling and proper endpoint arrests. After all, it wouldn’t be safe to build an 18 foot concrete wall over an undocumented truck sized tunnel. Gotta check the ground first.

      Why haven’t they already found them then, you ask. Because there is no wall. Yet. And because nobody is enforcing border security seriously. Yet.

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  9. itsgold

    Its going to take about 15-20+ years to just plan the project. If it ever gets completed, probably more than half the people reading this blog will be dead by then.

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    • moonshot

      You think Trump is going to model the project after Obamacare, where the bill comes due and everything blows up after he leaves office?

      You don’t seriously think he’d risk passing off the project to his successor, do you?

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