iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,474 Blog Posts

Today’s Rally is Being Brought to You By Dr. Benjamin Bernanke

Deep inside the foremost corner office at Citadel, Dr. Benjamin Bernanke ashes his blunt on the expensive Persian, mumbling to himself, as he watches stocks scream higher, ‘got you bitches again. I done told you not to fuck with me.’

Rumors have been swirling since last night that the good Doctor is advising the BOJ to issue ‘perpetual bonds’ and to partake in fiscal policy which would equate to ‘helicopter money.’ On this news, the yen shattered to pieces, stocks soared, and the good Dr. got to show the world again why he was the best damned central bankster the world has ever known.

But it was the yen’s moves that dominated morning trading in London, sliding past 105 per dollar and 140 yen per pound, with dealers citing a Bloomberg report saying ex-Federal Reserve chief Ben Bernanke had raised the prospect of the BoJ issuing “perpetual bonds”.

“We had this big move up at 7.30 this morning on the story about Bernanke floating this idea. It pushed the dollar through 105 yen and caught some stops along the way,” said Alvin Tan, a strategist with Societe Generale in London.

“We’ve heard a lot of talk about fiscal policy out of Japan. Something will happen on that front. The big question is whether there will be further monetary easing and coordination of the two. That does seem possible.”

The dollar gained 1.1 percent to 105.62 yen, hitting its highest level since late June.
If the government issued perpetual bonds directly to the BOJ, it could amount to the Bank funding government spending directly by printing new yen, for the first time shooting “helicopter money” directly at businesses and consumers.

This shit is hilarious. Dr. Bernanke saves the day.

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9 comments

  1. Marc David

    Well if he’s back in any capacity… why aren’t we buying every single dip like in the old days? We’d hit a low.. Ben would step up and he’s Barry Bonds it out of the park. Every single time. It was fun. So I mean if he’s back in another country helping them do the QE thing… maybe it’s time to Risk on Daniel-san

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    • scottbot

      Because he knows there are always taxpayers to squeeze when things go crunch. Those helicopters don’t run on dreams.

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  2. mekhoury

    “Deep inside the foremost corner office at Citadel, Dr. Benjamin Bernanke ashes his blunt on the expensive Persian, mumbling to himself, as he watches stocks scream higher, ‘got you bitches again. I done told you not to fuck with me.’ ”

    Literary award.

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    • peso trader

      The indexes are ramping hard but the volume is actually light, its like the algo’s are just lifting stocks at the ask price and paying full spread.

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  3. it is showtime

    BERNANKE’S BIGGEST WEAKNESS IS HE DIDN’T COUNT ON A MIDDLE-CLASS-NOBODY BEING ABLE TO OUTLAST HIM
    BERNANKE YOU GOT 1 INSIGNFICANT NOBODY HINDERING ANY ABSOLUTE VICTORY EVER FROM OCCURING

    YOU’RE TRYING TO ELIMINATE ME
    AND OTHERS
    AND YOU
    JUST
    CAN’T

    G
    E
    T

    I
    T

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  4. frog

    Thanks, Helicopter Ben, from all of us who are long stocks. You’re ‘da man.

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  5. heckler

    Put your clams on the clam

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  6. superbus1982

    careful with TLT here. The door might get so narrow it disappears entirely.

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