GOVERNOR KASICH WINS (2nd place) NEW YORK

With 25% of precincts reporting, iBankCoin can comfortably predict that Ohio’s Governor John ‘Mr. Rogers’ Kasich has won second place in the New York primary, humiliating Ted ‘LYIN’ Cruz in what can only be described as a George Washington-esque landslide.

Before Kasich gives his much awaited for victory speech, it is rumored that LYIN Ted Cruz is holed up in his hotel room, crying like an illegal Cuban immigrant stuck in a capsized migration boat en route to Florida.

Long live J. Kasich. God bless President Kasich.