It’s that time of year again, ladies and gents. It’s a time when we sloth about the house, preparing for national festival. Our great lands were settled by maniacal pilgrims many yeara ago. Before they murdered all of the Indians, who lazily lived on these lands in grass huts, they befriended them and shared a large wooden dinner table with them, to feast upon corn and cranned berries, turkey, and mashed potatoes with gravy.
In a little more than a week, most of you will be sitting around the fire, watching football, smoking your pipe, asking your wives to fetch you another lager. Your bellies will imitate a waterbed in its movement, as you swashbuckle around the house eating delicacies.
The stock market doesn’t trade down during national festival, the day we broke bread with the savage, just before killing them.
THE TURKEY GODS ARE UPON YOU, granting wishes and monetary gifts through the exchanges. Bears are completely outmatched this time of year. They hate Thanksgiving and wished it never happened. As we celebrate and drink and carelessly buy stocks, they eat gruel and become meaner and they toil away late into the night to bring about the destruction of the United Steaks of America.
2015 has been a hard year for you. Now is the time to unwind, take free money, and prepare for gluttony on an industrial scale.
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The best holiday of the year – and no one expresses it like Dr. Fly.
Nice. But my timing was off earlier this year. Thanksgiving and Christmas will be late but when it’s time, there will be celebration.
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…“cranned berries” !
Hilarious !!!
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Came very close to taking the cash (1.5x) and working it, but I’m going to indulge this year…