This Morning’s Movers and Shakers

s&p futs up 6, gold flat, oil up 1.5%, europe mildly higher

Higher

Kick ass earnings: SQNS +23%, OCLR +21.7%, PFPT +16.4%, ELY +9.1%, ASPS +8.6%, TXN +7.7%, EBAY +6.7%, CTXS +6.6%, MCD +6.5%, ORAN +5.1%, LVS +4.6%, LOGI +4.6%, DNKN +4.5%, TSCO +4.3%, WFT +4.1%, XRS +4.1%, TBI +3.8%, DOW +3.7%, STBZ +3.6%, EEFT +3.2%, URI +3.1%, ADPT +2.8%, CYTX +2.8%, BPFH +2.7%, TRST +2.5%, DPS +2.4%, LUV +2.3%, PRLB +1.6%, LAZ +1.6%, CBU +1.5%, DGX +1.5%, SN +1.4%, UNP +1.4%, LLY +1.3%, GGG +1.2%, MLNX +1.1%, USG +1.1%, NWE +1%, WCC +1%, RCI +1%

CIT +6.6% (looking to sell commercial air biz; Thain retires), BUD +1.4% (nonsensical rumors)

Semis strong, since every day is a new buyout: LLTC +2.6%, STM +1.5%, ARMH +1.1%

Miners reovering from yesterday’s tragedy: AU +3.5%, RIO +2.6%, BHP +2.1%, GFI +1.1%

Oil men are out strong this morning: SDRL +2.7%, BP +2.5%, WLL +2.1%, RIG +1.5%

ZFGN +11.9% (we haven’t killed anyone lately), CANF +11.9% (looking to provide men with erect penises, just like viagra), VBLT +9.7% (phase 2 propaganda ), SUNE +6.3% (not dying today), EFII +5.8% (lawsuit success, earnings), KORS +3.3% (Einhorn bought some), FEYE +3% (dead cat bounce), STX +1.7% (bunch of bullshit ), MSM +1.4% (divvy hike), TSLA +1.4% (Musk defends his cars on Twitter)

Analyst nonsense: SNH +0.7% (upgraded to We think this is good from Crap burger at Wells Fargo)

Lower

Embarassing earnings: CYH -20.5%, EVHC -15%, CNMD -12.8%, FTK -10.2%, MKSI -9.5%, RCKY -8.3%, KMI -6.1%, DLB -5.9%, MJN -4.8%, CLB -4.4%, APOL -4.2%, AXP -4.1%, NOW -4.1%, PH -4.1%, RHI -3.8%, CAT -2.2%, BTG -1.6%, PDS -1.3%, AMP -1%, KNX -0.8%, EFX -0.8%

RLYP -12.4% (FDA approval, with a twist), THC -10.9% (following CYH in the sewer pipe), VRX -8.1% (Citron might’ve taken more screen shots of alleged fraud), HCA -6% (following CYH into the garbage can), UHS -5.9% (following CYH into the sea), LPNT -5.2% (following CYH into the nuclear reactor), IPXL -4% (announced FDA approval; no one gives a shit), TEX -1.8% (CAT done fucked up their swag)

Analyst horseshit: PSO -6.1% (downgraded to Meatless Meatballs at JP Morgan), SBH -4.1% (downgraded to Vegan burgers from Outperform at Wells Fargo), CS -3.4% (downgraded to PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT at Bankhaus Lampe)