iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,430 Blog Posts

The Trap Has Been Laid

Dr. Benjamin Bernanke could not have timed his debut at Citadel more perfectly. As the sell off deepens, the good Dr., laid back in his chesterfield armchair, smoking a blunt made from 100% marijuana leaves, is laughing at the lot of you running about the house naked–attempting to cover margin calls.

Markets will remain uncooperative until the tone and tenor of its participants improves. Right now, it is infected with banana eating apes, parasitic faineantise accustomed to quick cash and little to no work.

Life is hard as a full time money manager, having to toil away for meager 7 figure compensation packages–forced to watch the teevee all day long and converse with people on the internets. But something tells me all of my hard work and mindful efforts will lay several golden eggs.

For one, as you fribble away in a wide swath of low quality stocks, “The Fly” remains entrenched in his stone forest of cancer stocks barely down on the day. While it’s true, my largest position JNS is down 3% for the day; it’s also true that B. “Fucking” Gross will have none of this shit on Monday. He gives zero fucks to the people who want to see JNS lower.

At the end of the day, we were overdue for a sell off. Rest assured that The PPT will, once again, guard against destructive trades in your peasant accounts–laying the foundation that you require to battle out from your housing tenements. All that is on sale today shall be purchased next week, at a time and place of Dr. Benjamin Bernanke’s choosing.

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11 comments

  1. alty

    Nothing%20is%20really%20off%20much%20from%20where%20it%20was%20last%20Friday

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  2. it is showtime

    I feel like Charlie… Sheeeen…

    2and a half men Charlie Sheen
    Not wall st Charlie Sheen

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  3. UncleBuccs

    Dr. Fly – this post made me wonder: did you send an Exodus invitation to @benbernanke? His being a member would be quite the feather in your Princetoned cap…(if he isn’t already)

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  4. aggiealum

    Added a little JNS to my retirement account.

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  5. juice

    nice diction-ary prose, herr fly .. particularly faineantise

    a bit kafka, a bit hemingway

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  6. soupbone

    Nobody is scared or talking. So we either find out later what the real issue is, or there is no real issue. The bolts of fear from a Euro melt down were real in May 2011, I don’t think we have had that sensation since to be honest.

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    • bexpo

      I hated today. Somebody say GoodBye to Greece already. Kick them to the curb & be done with it already.

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    • it is showtime

      They keep faking it. Pretending.

      This time it’s not going away though

      It is – Fucking hilarious – If you watch
      the machinations – the playground-like
      statements – It’s just beyond obvious
      at some point – a problem can’t be
      PRETENDED AWAY

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  7. bexpo

    AGIO & SHAK & NFLX still went UP today! Unbelievable. Fly, I know you are in at least 2 of those – GUTSY.

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  8. zheeeem

    Ah, bon! Vous parlez francais.

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