EXODUS BETA TRIALS BEGIN TODAY

There is a good chance that limited beta trials for The PPT 2.0, aka Exodus, will begin today. First, we will permit tabbed bloggers and other employees of iBankCoin to use it, then friends, colleagues, and finally our enemies. We are fully cognizant of the fact that our enemies enjoy high quality financial software too and will not actively seek to destroy them, as long as they are good paying members of the service.

If you only knew the struggles and agony that I had to endure over these past 5 years, developing the world’s best analytic engine. One does not merely build financial software overnight and then launch it to the masses. It’s a painstaking process, especially since our algorithms are predictive–meaning they have utility and actual use, compared to the shit that is shoveled by our competitors. With the advent of Exodus, I am optimistic that we can raise enough funds to finally complete the Orbital Space Cannon (OSC), for offensive purposes only. We’ve had multiple delays due to Chinese government interference with the sale of their rare earths. However, we’ve recently acquired several mines, domestically, and have made significant progress towards going “online” with the OSC, with the full intent of vaporizing large swaths of malcontents and random persons of disinterest.

The market looks solid, early going. Very soon, all of the things you were worried about will coalesce and get dumped into the sea. I invite you to swim after it and look forward to seeing you drown.

Okay, lots of stuff to do today, people. Let’s be productive and quit slothing about the sofa. Get on the fucking phone and make some friends.