iBankCoin

EAT THE GOBBLEDYGOOK, IT’S GOOD FOR YOU

What a wonderful scene this morning, as the entire oil and gas industry sinks to the bottom of the ocean. At the same time, interest rates sink lower and every commodity known to man ‘normalizes.’ A skeptic might paint this beautiful piece of art as bullshit, hem and haw, then sell everything short. After all, it’s unbelievable that our beloved cost inputs (commodities) should trade lower each and every day. Surely it has to mean something ominous, something scandalous: death beckons, I just know it.

Or, we are re-entering the sort of market, a normal market, that doesn’t give a shit about commodities. Pray tell me, back in the 90’s and early 2000’s, did you even give oil or copper a second glance? It was only during the mid 2000’s, when China started to build ghost cities for future urbanites, that anyone really cared about miners and oil companies. In the past, oil was no more than 5% of one’s portfolio. Why? Because oil sucked.

Guess what, jackass? Oil sucks, yet again (extra Count of Monte Christo).

Eat the gobbledygook and try to behold the splendor of cancer medicines and software companies that aim to kill hackers. As inputs come in and interest rates sink into the dirt, the American consumer grows richer. Very soon, we will all prance about the boulevard in fur coats and canes made from 100% ivory, procured for us by our man-servants in the African jungles who enjoy killing elephants for sport. Our portfolios will grow, by leaps and bounds, permitting us to open harems stocked with the finest of wares.

To accomplish this future reality, this elysium on earth, all that you have to do is eat, mind you, the gobbledygook.

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27 comments

  1. duckkell

    Best play?

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  2. speerothekid

    this is the new age version of ‘throwing hot pizza slices at homeless men’: shipyourenemiesglitter.com

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  3. xochi

    cool song

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  4. thegametheorist

    i am obsequiously 1/3 of the way through the count of monte cristo

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  5. tradercaddy

    Here is a tip.
    Don’t paint your own house.
    So after years of living in this bear cave we have decided to move to something smaller for the usual reasons (kids gone and married, too much maintenance, etc.).
    I had the exterior (T1-11 cedar) rot repaired and couldn’t get the paint to match (Fl.sun bleached) so I figured I ain’t doing anything so I will paint it myself.
    Four weeks later and I am done. Now I know why painters are alcoholics.
    Now to repair the 8 pool screen panels that the bears have broken through.

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    • budh

      Sell it as a ‘fixer upper’. People love those.

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      • tradercaddy

        It’s not a “fixer upper” (about 3200 sq. ft., large pool and citrus on 3 acres 20 minutes from downtown).
        It’s just the Florida weather which can be brutal on an exterior.

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    • pyromonoxide

      I hear you about that, some of these simple house jobs are amazing drudgery and one awkward corner can cost you hours. Just ripped out my living room carpet and installed snap in bamboo, took three times as long and finishing bits will be small weekend projects for a while.

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  6. zheeeem

    Excellent idea. I think I’ll have a monte cristo sandwich for lunch.

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  7. esquared

    Know whats pretty sweet? E&P’s like $SN bottomed on 12/15 at $6.34 and is up over 30% from that low as we speak (has been much higher) while oil traded at about $55 that day. So oil is down $10 in a month and the E&P’s are up big. I posit those bottoms won’t be breached in the E&P’s even if oil trades to $35, as everyone who is anyone knows the depressed price is bullshit and will be back up above $70 this year.

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  8. smartestone

    the question is : will we fade the gains? Me thinks we will, as that has been the habit of the market for the past 1.5 months

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  9. holyho

    oil sucks or not ???
    HERETO: now is the time to accumulate shares of SLCA, EMES, PDCE, DVN, CLR, ECR and FMSA, amongst others. Once the tide turns and oil breaks $55 to the upside, all of you fucking faggots will be tripping over yourselves, knifing each other in the backs, to get a piece of the action.

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  10. og

    GPRO might be the most hated stock on Wall Street.

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