THE CHALLENGE IS NOW CLOSED; YOU HAVE ALL FAILED

Let this serve as a monument that both elevates “The Fly” and disgraces all of you. Here I am, willing and able to donate money towards the great cause of ALS, and all you had to do to save lives is pour a single bucket of iced water over your heads.

The results are in.

Out of the thousands of people who visit iBankCoin on a daily basis, in gluttonous search for opportunity to ingratiate themselves, ZERO people accepted my challenge.

A great shame shall be placed upon your house now.

To be honest with you, I am not surprised, not in the least. I expected maybe 5 or 6 “stragglers” taking me up on the challenge, dedicated ‘do-gooders’ trying to save the planet from plague. But I was mistaken. Blackness infects your inner spirit and it has made you into a miser, an opportunist, a regular Eddie Barzoon.

NOTE: I am off for Newport, RI tomorrow and will be hit or miss on Monday and Tuesday.

Unfortunately, because I am in possession of sensitive state secrets, I cannot partake in the #IcedBucketChallenge. However, being the generous guy that I am, Le Fly is willing to donate $1 per #IcedBucketChallenge –that our readers accept. I invite 10,000 of you heathens to take the icy plunge.

To accomplish this task, all you have to do is record a video, obscure your hideous faces if you like, and say the words “I accept the iBankCoin Iced Bucket Challenge”, using your internet name. Feel free to call out other members of this establishment. Post the videos in the comments section. Thank you very much.

However, for those of you who think they can call me out: I have a message for you.

A final note: if you do not accept my challenge (extra Van Damme voice), you will be guilty of great crimes and a hideous disregard for the dreadful disease called ALS aka “Lou Gehrig’s disease”.

To kick things off in stylish fashion, I hereby challenge Phil Pearlman, Howard Lindzon and Josh Brown. They have, ALL OF YOU HAVE, just 24 hours to comply.

Good day.

I sold out of EXAS–because it was a trade. When +10% inside of 3 days, one needs to act upon his instincts and take the money. But I am far from over here. I want to clarify something that might’ve confused you in a prior post. Since placing a large portion of my liquid net worth into the market, about a month ago, I’ve been talking two books: one that is managed and another that is mine. Inside of my personal account, TLT is my largest holding, followed by GILD.

In my managed accounts, my largest holding is CBST, followed by a stock that I am about to reveal to you right now.

With the proceeds from EXAS, I swung around and did two things.

1. I added to my ECOM position.

2. I started a position in XONE.

But I didn’t stop there, young lads. I took all available cash and idly tossed it into XONE–because I want my gains to be in 3-D too. It’s not good enough that I make money in boring stuff, like TLT and SLCA. My predatory nature demands that I extricate large sums of dollars from the purses of the laconic sub-mentals, in hog-butcher fashion.

I sold EXAS for a 10% gain, over 3 days.

Every Friday we are treated to more shenanigans out of that monster of a vodka whore, Premier Vladimir Putin. Why doesn’t he just invade Ukraine already and get it over with? He’s a sick man, playing a stereotypical game of chess on the world stage, probably doing so whilst practicing gymnastics in his home gym–as borscht is being served.

It appears CMGE and LEJU will never trade down again. That, my friends, is also annoying me. So many god damned things are annoying me today, almost everything in the world but you–the lowly reader. I feel sorry for you, sitting there, waiting for another entry from Le Fly.

I will have you know that the move in CRM spells great things for the cloud sector. Already stocks in the peer group, like N, are trading higher in tandem. Also, TFM beat estimates, which is lending support to WFM. I love the grocery sector here for long term capital appreciation.

SLCA never trades down. Ever since those UNP numbers, fracking sand plays, EMES, HCLP and SLCA, have been on fire. You need to read in between the leaves.

Finally, my second largest position, CBST, is ripping higher today, following my largest position, GILD, to the moon.

I mean, come on son, GILD is up almost 30 points over the past 3 months. They fucking cured hep C you crazy shits. Get with the program.

I was once challenged by a famous hedge fund manager to name a stock that traded at an absurd multiple and became a long term winner. It’s a harder proposition than you might think. The rules are: the company must trade over 10x sales, lose money, and not be in the biotech sector.

The only name that I came up with was EQIX.

Looking at some of our high value tech stocks, I wonder how many of these will sustain these levels and start making money. There are a slew of biotech stocks trading at INSANE levels. However, all they need is a nod from the FDA and voila; they’ll start to do billions in revenues.

So I narrowed my list to just tech stocks.

Your thoughts?

WDAY 31x sales
SCTY 29x sales
TWTR 28x sales
WUBA 24x sales
Z 22x sales
QUNR 20x sales
ATHM 19x sales
YELP 19x sales
FB 19x sales
ARMH 17x sales
GRUB 16x sales
NOW 15x sales
SPLK 15x sales
WB 15x sales
FEYE 15x sales
QIHU 15x sales
NMBL 14x sales
LNKD 14x sales
DATA 14x sales
TRIP 13x sales
TSLA 13x sales
PANW 12x sales
BIDU 12x sales

The above stocks are the most vulnerable to correction.

Trading is hard. It’s not hard because it’s hard to make money. It’s hard because you are sometimes forced to watch the stuff you just sold scream higher. There is nothing better than a stock cratering by 50% AFTER you just sold it. But when that stocks soars and tries to lure you back in at higher prices, the very feeling of death strikes you.

Just the other day I sold out of my chinese burrito stocks, all but one. I kept LITB, which is down 10% since. I sold CMGE, DSKY, VNET, XNET, ZPIN and QIHU. Go take a peek at the first two, going all mortal kombat on the market here. I replaced those stocks with some biotech and one retail store, none of which have performed as admirabbly as my former chinese burritos.

What’s a man to do under such onerous circumstances?

The way I see it, there are two options.

1. Get a piece of rope and kill yourself. The world doesn’t need more stupid people. We have an overabundance.

2. Man up and remember what you’re here for. You are not here to vote at annual meetings or micro-analyze the companies. You are going to rip and run. Do not apologize for your abrasive actions to the pedestrians, for the people outside of the colosseum will never understand what it’s like.

I fully intend to profit from my current holdings, one way or another. If they underperform, I will sell them and move on. But you and I both know Señor Tropicana is on extreme fire right now, a 5 alarm blaze ripping through your bullshit housing project.

Everything you thought you knew about life two weeks ago is now null and void. You thought you had it all figured out. Vladimir Putin, your hero, was going to sweep across The Ukraine– like the relic that he is– and occupy the entire country. You, in your infinite wisdom, were going to mint a fortune from your stupid TZA position inside of your pathetic excuse for an office environment.

Now everything has changed. Peace is reigning in the slavic region of The Ukraine and Vlad is as docile as an old dog. He’s probably making Faberge eggs somewhere with his grandchildren.

I warned you people to ‘see to your sins’ in order to get right with this world. The amount of bad karma you’re throwing off is incredible. Some of you are the very worst people in the world, regular Pol Pots. But I am not going to get into that now.

See, what I am going to do now is eat lunch. Do you know why I can eat lunch at 10:46 in the morning, without checking in with some jackass supervisor: because I am my own man and I don’t answer to anyone, except my wife, aka “The Battle Ax”, of course. But who doesn’t?

Seriously, is there a better job than managing money or being a trader, during times like this? If you’re not in the business of actively prospecting, getting hung up on by 100 year old men in wheeled chairs, this is as good as it gets. You get to come to work and write your own meal tickets. If money is tight, no problem, simply invest more money and make more money.

What could go wrong?

If you’re a corporate hack, beholden to the iron grip of some middle management position, getting whipped upon by Xerxes, I feel sorry for you. You get to punch a clock and fetch coffee for the C-level execs, making bullshit money along the way. As investors, managers of other people’s money, the world is our oyster.

S&P futures are higher this morning, ahead of Janet Yellen’s Jackson Hole speech. It’s in her best interest to keep the status quo going, letting guys like me have their way with the US economy, so that the bills get paid.

You suckers went short again, didn’t you?

By the way, I’d like you to take note of LITB and understand what transpired today. Let this be a lesson to publicly traded executives.

TAKE SPEECH CLASSES. Learn to communicate in the language of your shareholders, for they are your future.

LITB was +10% before the conference call, based on the numbers and forward guidance. As soon as the conference call started, the shares started to trade down because of the poor audio quality, nonsensical cadence put forward by the executives and lastly a crying baby was heard on the call. A friend of mine, Chuck Bennet, who is a regular frequenter of China says it’s fairly common to walk into a bar around 11:30 pm and see babies loitering about, as their parents get drunk on rice wine.

Bottom line: I sold ZU and bought SODA, ICPT and ECOM today.

NOTE: On 9/1, the generous folks over at iBankCoin will conduct a live drawing of sorts to reward one of the annual members of either The PPT, 12631 or After Hours with Option Addict. The first prize winner will receive $1,000. Second prize is $500. to learn your raffle number, please login to one of the services and look at thew top of the page. It is there. If it’s not there, email [email protected].