I know this is entirely off topic and something that most of you are uninterested in, mainly because you’re all fat porkers, busy and readily stuffing your faces with cheese sandwiches. But I just got done with a moderately successful cut cycle and I must admit, it sucked giant nuts.
I cut for the entire summer and really cheated heavily along the way. It was more of a maintenance diet, where I limited myself to around 2,000 calories per day with an ample amount of protein to keep the muscle from washing away. The whole point of a cut cycle is to remove the fat to display your muscles. It’s purely aesthetic.
Fine, it’s great that I can spin a knife on my stomach; but I’m weaker for it.
I don’t work out to look better or even feel better. I work out so that I am harder to kill. Whenever that fated day comes, the arrival of some jackass in a mustache trying to shank me with his homosexual switch blade with the intent to sever my head, I want to be able to tear his head off with my own hands–clean. Fuck the knife.
The problem is, as some of you know, when you’re cutting, you’re really just a big pussy–trying to get lean for the sake of conformity.
Listen to me now: I am going to eat 4,000 calories per day and gain 20 pounds in the next 3 months, so that I too might be able to throw grown men over my head into a crevasse, should the occasion arise. As I write this very blog, I am eating a grotesquely large peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a side order of protein bar and a 12 ounce mug of milk.
Having abs is great. But what’s even greater is to have brute strength that would allow you to punch the fucking bone marrow out of approaching enemies.
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I thought this post would be about BALT when I saw the title
Yes, I know. The title is a double entendre.
What lifting program, if any, are you using?
5/3/1, Starr, riptoe?
I lift until my muscles fail.
do something functional. like boxing. jiu jitsu
that’s next. First you need the strength to enact the damage.
As an example, you take boxing lessons for 2 years and weigh 140 lbs because of it. i would simply be able to punch holes into your chest cavity and choke you out.
Le Fly, technically you gave some hints to the attendees of the IBC conference on how to recognize you!
Nonsense. I blend in like a leaf on the ground.
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… well, he DID say he would be disguised with a “mustache” !!!
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I just NEVER expected it would be “milk mustache” !!!
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GOT MILK ?
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At the same time, we all know that you did in order to be able to jump on that guy who is long UVXY in a dark alley!
Classic post – and thanks fer the song! Arrrr.
They should rename the song from ‘Pirates’ to ‘Decline of America’…
Well stated. I too am in the bulking phase for the winter (extra BCAA and Creatine). May I suggest a GREAT TASTING protein shake to drink just before you retire for the evening every night and/or just after your workout. Here is the recipe:
1 cup almond milk
dump some quaker oats in it (1/4 cup or so), a tablespoon of decaf coffee (non- decaf when drinking it in the day after a workout), tablespoon of all natural peanut butter, a heaping scoop of ion exchanged isolated whey protein and some ice cubes. Blend that shit up in a Vitamix for 30 seconds and enjoy.
On another note, want to point out a couple of spelling errors in your blog…
Should be “Cheesed sandwiches”, “Peanut Butter and Jellied sandwiches”.
That is all.
That sounds like 35 grams or so of protein. But why almond milk? There’s way more protein in 2% milk.
As of late, I am having issues digesting the whey shakes and have opted for two greek yogurts after workouts.
I practically live on Greek yogurts.
Gonna start my creatine cycle after the iBC conference. I don’t want to be all moody and shit for the meet and greet.
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WOW !!!
Classic mid-life crisis ???
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Porshe … There Is NO Substitute !!!
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… WAAAY MORE FUN than …
“Almond Milk” !!!
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… uhhh … “Whey” More Fun !!!
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Alf
You are a zebra,
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I’m a “zebra” (whatever that means) …
… meanwhile, you’re eatin’ Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches !!!
OUCH !!!
You REALLY know how to hurt a guy !!!
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Stop braying and soiling my earth with your cheap blood.
I use it the shakes only because I drink milk in the day. Almond milk just tastes really good in it. I also forgot to tell you to ADD A WHOLE BANANA (important for the consistency). I am confident this will be the best tasting protein drink you will have ever tasted. Let me know what you think.
My wife says I have a problem digesting whey too sometimes. It’s a very high quality protein that is easily absorbed though (ion exchange whey protein)
I get Rocky road from ONN. I’ve been drinking it for a few years without an issue, until recently.
I don’t like to spend time about the blender. So I mix it with a spoon and eat the banana with my hand.
IF you are having trouble digesting shakes, are they mixed with milk? That’s too much lactose, trust me. MIx ’em like homeboy said with Almond, or just water, and to aid digestion add a 1/4-1/2 dose of “Fitness Fiber” by Optimum Nutrition.
Easier to digest and won’t mess you up, but be careful not to OD on the fiber.
You are right. When I drink with water it goes down easier. I’m just trying to get greedy and grab those ext ran calories with milk.
That’s true about the fiber. I got a bit too heavily into the chia seeds and it felt like I was passing cannonballs. Not fun.
Strange way to cure boredom. To each his own.
Lifting weights and becoming harder to kill is ‘strange’?
Never thought I’d hit a stock picking blog and come across not just one person, but multiple people, having problems digesting whey. Unless that’s code for shorting gold, which then I’m certainly having problems, too.
First off, fuck these idiots.
Second, you know that I am all form over function, I couldn’t give a shit if I have abs, I care about power, strength, explosiveness. I train to move heavy weights fast, bea ble to move quickly in every direction and to outlast my enemies in a confrontation.
Thus, I couldn’t be happier for you. Having visible abs never saved someone in a street fight. (They may have better cardio, but they may not because they are depleted).
This is hilarious :
“the arrival of some jackass in a mustache trying to shank me with his homosexual switch blade with the intent to sever my head, I want to be able to tear his head off with my own hands–clean. Fuck the knife.”
and this is perfect “The problem is, as some of you know, when you’re cutting, you’re really just a big pussy–trying to get lean for the sake of conformity.”
I’ll never be lean, and I’ll always have a thick muscular waist, but I’m confident I can dismantle multiple men if confronted.
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… Not if one has a Glock … tough guy !!!
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That’s why I have a 1911, multiple ARs and shotguns.
But Alf, seriously, I live in SF it’s weak ass gang bangers that are lucky to procure a knife.
And, when they see how hard I hit their friend and knock all his teeth out, along with his conscious, they generally just rethink the situation.
hahahaha
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… go drink some more Muscle Milk and work on the “six pack” !
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Go work on not being a Zebra.
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… I’ll do JUST THAT …
“Steven Seaga”l !!!
LOL
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errr … “Seagal”
A-game !!!
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I’ll cue you in on being a zebra, Alf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cX4p_khYJBQ
Seagal would stomp you into Moon Dust using only his ponytail and attached Mohican Dream Catcher.
BTW, been in the 12631 and folks are killing it.
I’m long BALT too #Murica
creatine? lol. amateur. stick to finance.
What on gods earth are you laughing about? Creatine is for amateurs?
You are the amateur
Your Intestinal villi will hate a dairy heavy diet, almond milk is a good alternative. There are also powdered proteins with reduced lactose. Dymatize ISO 100 is one I’ve used and recommend.
Good lord Oil is getting Bitch Slapped today. With that said; do you even sleep. Lol
Post at 1:42 am then again at 6:58. Good lord
I guess Zombie would say you’re Omnipresent
Muscle bound weenies thinking they are healthy.
Actually, Fly, I like your style and have been a fan since your 1st year.
Five years ago I was diagnosed with base of tongue cancer, apparently caused by my predilections while wandering seedy girlie bars during my residence in Bangkok. Due to radiation I could not eat solid food and commenced with living on fruit and vegetable juice. And I never stopped, although after treatment I could eat real food again. Now I eat meat later in the day and instead of having dead vegetables on the plate I drink fresh juice made from organic goodies, most raw and some lightly cooked. What do I have? Clarity of mind, lightness of body and extra energy not wasted on breaking food down in my stomach.
The main drawback is that instead of dying I have to live through market turmoil on a day to day basis. That and I have to accept that Dope on a Slope is still alive.
Fucking tongue cancer? Jesus.
Being hard to kill is an excellent long-term strategy. I’m a big fan of weights, cycling and tai kwon do.
Damnit. I am sorry I missed this discussion last evening. Health & fitness and beating people up is my other area of expertise. If you want to gain more mass than the creatine without going full anabolic, check into Pro Hormones. They are safe if used correctly and you will add mass quick.
Pro Hormones are very hard on the liver
Your first sentence says it all. Sounds like a Chelsea gym conversation.
This whole thread has left me in tears. Classic.
I know I’m a bit late to the party here, but nothing (bar nothing) will get you stronger, in the same time period, than the 3 months of hell that is the Smolov squat cycle.