Dear readers of iBankCoin,
A friend of mine at the podiatrist told me that the stock market was having trouble, ever since I became Federal Reserve chairwoman. She said that “Ben wouldn’t have allowed this idle downside speculation take place” under his watch. For some strange reason, the owner of this website seems to paint me as an olde grandmother, who goes out all day on shopping binges, eating “clubbed sandwiches.” That could not be further from the truth.
I am at work from 6am until midnight, each and every day, playing bridge with the other nice ladies at the Federal Reserve. Quite honestly, it’s the hardest work of my life. There isn’t much for me to do, frankly, since the TAPERINGBOT3000 has been initiated. We at the Fed, simply sit around all day, eating corned beefed sandwiches– laughing at Seinfeld re-runs. I don’t have any of my personal money in the stock market, since it’s prohibited by law for a Fed chief to have exposure. Therefore, I never really look at the market. Was it down today? Someone at the beauty salon said that I “sucked” and should “go back to brooklyn to go rob and punch a bunch of people in the face.” That man was very rude. As he left, he said he hoped I’d receive “shares of splunk, on margin, for Christmas.” Whatever that means. I guess he didn’t know that I am jewish.
Anyways, I just wanted to clear up the confusion that has been brewing about the internet, and on the Twitter, about my habits. Frankly, I believe this Fly character to be a reprehensible chauvinistic animal of a man.
Sincerely,
Federal Reserve Chief,
Janet Yellen
I remember such wider downside momentums with ben
I hate the taperbot3000. HATE IT.
I hate that the market didn’t get a reasonable bounce like it does on every other down day since 2011.
I hate that it couldn’t break that little line at 1870 no matter how hard it tried.
I hate that I lost 2% of my portfolio on a stoopid futures trade that I didn’t have time to watch properly.
I will have to work for weeks to make that 2% back. And THIS MARKET SUCKS. NO trade long or short feels safe.
Tepper Weather Tepper Weather Tepper Weather… Have become the sufficient retard. Tepper Weather.
The BITCH is killing me!!!
There went your chance for a freshly knitted sweater with a kitten on it this holiday season, Le Fly.
splunk on margin for Christmas. LOL
BUT, I did pick up some FB today..
What month is it?
Fly, She stopped at JCP and bought some new pantied hose on the way home, I cant believe she forgot to mention that.
Nice writing, made me laugh.
Fatties replacement looks like a porn star. Closing bell for the win.
How does twitter make money to pay its employees?
Advertisement I assume… may be they pay them in shares… oops they might have problem soon.
Awesome post!
LOVE THAT POST, and the Taperbot3000…rofl. Mr. Partridge, good call but really gutsy to short gold too at the same time. India Elections could spike it up pretty soon??
Actually it was my dog… he has little brain and a lot of guts lol he thinks at 11 pounds he is a big dog.. he was long a day before too lol
lol, What a Good Dog, He deserves a bone.
you should change your name
Everything will be alright if someone would just fix her sore feet. Pul-leeze
The idea that it is the job of the fed to inflate equity prices is laughable – probably one of the worst experiments with monetary policy in history.
How do the lefties pay for the votes? There is no real economy. Must fake the tape to keep hope and change alive.
I am geriantrophobic and your people are very scary to me. Please get newer ones.
a reprehensible chauvinistic animal
She has you pegged. You never would have subjected a male Fed chair to verbal abuse. They would all get the respectful kick down the stairs you offer to old men.
In other news, San Diego continues to suffer severe local warming.
Humidity is 4-5%, temps are records by 6-7 F, and the vegetation is ready to burst into flame if you give it a hard stare.
I was in the Pool all afternoon, first time this year. But it should cool down soon, drats…well good for the fires, including LA ones…but great pool day.
It’s a good thing she doesn’t have any exposure.
Anger permeates every pore of my being. I need to have my access cutoff to everything, for the desire for quick and easy vengeance flows through me like a raging river.
I feel the market should crumble….tumble. Falter. Yields on euro bonds climbed for the first time in a long time…..thats the type of event that could be our trigger.
And yet, the “short spy” trade has been a widow-make, lo these five years.
Thus, I must stand aside, residing in the calming brazilian waters, hedged in snugly in a safe range.
I never hear Fly mention KNDI but I made 3% just today. is a great trading stock.
I love KNDI !
How come we cant fix our typos? Is that so FLY CAN SEE JUST HOW DUMB WE REALLY ARE.
This is a grade A blog. You get 1 shot at crafting a statement. If it was up to me, I’d slap a timer on it too.
I’ve been drinking tonight
Glenfiddich—: /
makes me chatty
The Fly is a Member of the Tribe!!! my respect shot through the roof