Friday, December 9, 2016
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
14,876 Blog Posts


I thought SALE was the worst company in the world, until FEYE came along. Apparently, they give cancer to people and then treat them with radiation that kills them almost instantly. They charge gigantic sums of money for this luxury and even have a funeral home business that encases your dead corpse, for a small fee.

At the FireEye funeral parlour, they secretly put cancer in the light bulbs, water and furniture, so that grieving visitors become clients. Once ill, you go to the FEYE HQ and they treat you with “life saving radiation therapy” for $10,000 per treatment. The only side effect is death.

Business is booming. However, people are wising up to their derelict ways and have begun to sell them short. Also, the lock-up period has expired, which is good news for all of the felons who own the stock. I am sure they will sell every single share over the next few weeks. Nothing will stop these savages from taking the money and running. Their cost basis is in the pennies and they couldn’t care less if their selling drove the shares back down to single digits.

After all, the company is a merchant in death. What did you expect?


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  1. kea

    You forgot that their CEO is going on CNBC and has bad teeth.

  2. jules

    The founder looks like an Indian vampire.


    I think the floor should be around $65, through that and who knows.

  4. halfbloodpope

    All this selling just affords you the unbelievable opportunity to buy a great stock even cheaper.

  5. johnrotten

    FireEye is dirty BrownEye

  6. ironbird

    FEYE has all the hallmarks of a massive Senor Fly win. Doubt that and lose your house. None of this needs to make sense. God given talent is what it is.

  7. mr.partridge

    I had a down day today and I don’t have FEYE.. I think many momo, tech, 3d, solars got hit today with green indexes.

    • ironbird

      Did a corn dog vendor at the carneyval say to buy BAC and MSFT last week? I must have missed the memo. We short Russia tho, right? Twilight Zone tape.

  8. matt_bear

    That $97 looked like the sentiment chart enthusiasm stage. The sell off so far is helping to confirm.

    • ironbird

      That is a reach. Has the other guy’s house ever affected your decision making? Enthusiasm will be the d-top attempt. In my opinion of course.

  9. superb

    i almost believed FEYE is pharmaceutical company.

  10. Fidel Cash Grow

    I thought ANGI was the worst company in the world

  11. zeena

    You’re the most entertaining guy in the market !!!!
    I love the way you make me laugh with almost every post!!!!!

  12. marketlab

    You didn’t listen to me….Buy PEIX. Up 6% again today. They will earn $ 4 share / $ 16 stock…4 PE and their peers sell for a PE of 24 ..see GPRE…also see GPRE chart…LOW corm HIGH Ethanol HIGH world demand

  13. alf44

    … the LOW on Feb. 13 was 66.66 !

    Just sayin’ …

    • alf44

      “The 66 recurring number sequence is a message to trust the Universe and your angels with supporting and assisting you in achieving your desires in regards to your home, family, social and personal life. Keep your thoughts and feelings focused on achieving your goals, and you will attain your desires with the help of your angels.”

  14. typebtrading

    Well done sir. Best blog of 2014 IMHO

  15. peloniosreppe

    “They charge gigantic sums of money for this luxury”

    Dearest Fly, Sultan of the Halls, Dazzler of the Ornate:

    That would be great if true. Hell, if felons poison your banana tree for profit, and your kid eats it, at least you can pay for his strychnine tainted funeral, with money from the stock increase, nest pas?

    Your rant waters my geraniums, as per usual, I can really sense how disgusted you are, but would be funnier if the co wasn’t so overvalued on the BENJAMIN GRAHAM sliding scale of investment app for dummies (PS, app only rec’ds going long chinese dictionaries for the impeding assimilation, huge moat there, we need them, they have them, it’s a whole to do). Really, it’s a verykool app.

    Anyway, too bad, since they only make 160m in revenue with 11b mkt cap. They need REV UP up the cancer delivery so the price doesn’t fall deathly ill like a cuckolded Longshanks (extra Braveheart)

    Penned in accordance with decency,
    PELONOIS REPPE, you greatest fanne

  16. danny1980

    Good news is FEYE has created buying opportunities in WDAY and CRM. The force is strong is those much like the gayness of a truck stop bathroom at 2 am