iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,318 Blog Posts

Front Running Pathetically Stupid Hedge Fund Managers

We are coming down the home stretch now and bonuses are at stake, pal. Your local hedge fund managers would prefer to make $100 mill for the year, instead of a paltry $75 million. We’ve had a great run in equities, but some have missed out. These creatures are simply hiding beneath the stairs, drinking wine until they’re too tired and stupid to figure out the market.

Well, a whole slew of them will be crawling out from the stairs this week, in the hopes of salvaging their careers. To underperform in a +30% SPY year means your career is over and you will most likely join the ranks of Obama’s unemployed.

So, as you can see, there is work to be done.

At this very moment, they are running screens, just like the one I am about to show you now. They need stocks that are trending up, since there isn’t any time for reversals. In addition, bigger funds will demand large cap names and liquidity in the form of average daily volume. These hot shots need to get in as fast as they intend to get out. They might even hold some special meeting to “unveil” said picks, in order to “Ackman” their returns.

Lastly, they want said stocks to be heavily shorted, for two reasons.

1. Additional liquidity will be added to names, as shorts cover.

2. As natural buyers pile into the stock, shorts might panic, cover, and cause the shares to explode to the upside.

Here are the stocks that fit this criteria, courtesy of The PPT.

Squeeze

My favorite is GMCR.

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13 comments

  1. The Zombie

    The Fly is God.

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  2. ultramarine1

    Dr, Fly, did you outperform Bill Ackman this year? I believe you did, so, congratulations!

    I think I outperformed Ackman as well, but not as much as you did.

    It’s pathetic that a lowly piker like me can outperform a rich pervert like Ackman.

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    • ultramarine1

      Oh, I’ll be in NYC briefly this week. If I happen to run into Bill by accident I’ll tell him, “The Fly is a superior market wizard to you.”

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    • The Fly

      But Ackman is super rich, so our “wins” are juvenile.

      I am up 45%

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    • Twister

      it is easy with $5K but a few bill it just might get a bid harder…

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  3. Leon

    Ultramarine, judging from that statement, you are the epitome of stupidity.

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  4. ironbird

    To the moon, Alice. What exactly is happening over on one island in the pacific? Looney Tunes Acme rocket pinless Godzilla shit. This is the new flood of liquidity no?

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  5. ironbird

    Can the Euro rollover vs the Greenback anytime this decade? That is the plan, right? Also a Kentucky Senator does not want to sell you fried chicken!? He wants to save Detroit. The humanity.

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  6. TheHarper

    “Obama’s unemployed” …even I love that line hahah

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  7. TMG

    The CRM figure of 76% (which came from Yahoo Finance) is incorrect. Shares short are 50 million and the float is 550 million – so should be 10%, not 76%. Yahoo calculated it incorrectly.

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