iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,452 Blog Posts

Volatility is Back

You can’t say I didn’t warn you about this day. I’ve been saying the market was going to “fall into a never-ending catatonic state of oblivion” once tax receipts were collected and earmarked for future expense. I need to be very frank (no hotdog) with you and display my regret on this open canvas.

Knowing what I knew and did what I done, I feel a sudden urge to punch my windows out, commit atrocious acts of unsolicited violence. Granted, I am not a very brawny guy, more on the thin side, although I’ve been adding pounds to the torso as of late. But I was thrown to the wolves as a young child, taught to punch others in the face at the age of 5, practiced the art of sudden knife lunges as a teenager, dodger of bullets as well. My bones are calcified and can break jaws into a million pieces.

So here I am, at the top of my game, triumphant in my predictions and all I have to show for it is an intra-day loss of 4%. Something is wrong with the way my brain coalesces with the rest of my body. Why did I, FOR THE LOVE OF DEAD DOGS AND STEAM FRIED CATS, have to buy AG?

There are parables that need to be read tonight, stories that will scare me straight, steer me away from greed.

Without discipline, there is chaos. Right now, there is anarchy at The House of Fly, papers strewn all over the floor, people crying out loud, arguments to be had. Fights will happen and people will get hurt. This is the result of disobedience, sneering and mocking at the prophecies that were granted to you from superior beings, immortals, the old gods. My fate is frowned upon like the people who make holes in donuts or hedge against inflation.

“Janitor needed in aisle 13.” Time to get my mop and clean up this mess.

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32 comments

  1. jball

    oh, i don’t know, things could be worse… for example, i coulda been reading Paulsen’s blog insteada Fly’s…

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  2. trader1906

    Look on the brightside you didn’t go 90% bitcoin, gold & silver

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  3. King of all Muff
    King of all Muff

    Not to worry, silver will bounce soon!

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  4. Joe Kramer

    Fly you had me laughing so fucking hard almost brought me to tears. Not at your stock pick it was because I could relate to your feelings and thoughts. Man never quit writing I dig the way you write I am a fan thanks for making my day.Glad your back in prime form.

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  5. acehood

    Before you tell Mrs. Fly to curtail the spending, remember that hell hath no fury…

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  6. TheOSU

    Total vindication of Bernacke

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  7. flyaway18

    I listened to you and my partner in trading, Mr. Partridge.

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  8. The Pirate

    “I was thrown to the wolves as a young child, taught to punch others in the face at the age of 5, practiced the art of sudden knife lunges as a teenager, dodger of bullets as a teen”
    – 1 thing I have learned about ‘The Fly’s’ secret identity – he clearly attended NYC Public Schools (as did I).
    The great ‘Fly’ can & will survive anything; he is most dangerous NOW, just when he looks down for the count…

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    • The Eye-Talian Stallion
      The Eye-Talian Stallion

      If you had of said Detroit CSD I would have been impressed.

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  9. Cascadian

    People think they can predict things like movements of the stock market. But they can’t. You gotta have supercomputers and Math Phd’s to have a chance, but those guys are often wrong too.

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  10. mjolnir

    When I was 5, 6 and 7 the nuns nearly broke my knuckles with their wooden rulers, bigger guys shoved sand by the pound in my mouth at the beach in Brooklyn and liars and cheaters became big winners. So what else is new?

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    • t That Made A Man Out Of Mjolnir
      t That Made A Man Out Of Mjolnir

      You need to take (buy) my muscle-building course. I did and look at me now.
      –Charles Atlas (deceased)

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      • t That Made A Man Out Of Mjolnir
        t That Made A Man Out Of Mjolnir

        The full title was: The Insult That Made A Man Out Of Mjolnir

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  11. mrkcbill

    ATTENTION ALDI SHOPPERS!!!!!
    “Janitor needed in aisle 13.”

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  12. Vertigo

    Wrong. Fly wrote over & over, April 15 was Armageddon Day. He had the direction right, and was the only one here to pin it to a specific day.

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  13. Mr. President

    Best post ever.

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  14. Mr. President

    BUY SOME VXX
    BUY SOME
    DO IT, LE FLY
    VXXXXXXXXXX

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  15. Vertigo

    S&P off 1.72%, it bounces now. I’ll be contrarian, it’s time to buy

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  16. Mr. President

    Thank you for being so descriptive, Le Fly, lest any of us think you meant “solicited” violence, or “not-so-sudden” knife lunges.

    Your writing style is one-of-a-kind and I will read your blog if you go negative this year and next.

    Whatever you ate for breakfast this morning along with your mug filled with black smoke, it fired up your wordsmithing skills.

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  17. tm

    I don’t understand this tax day meme you’ve latched onto. “..once tax receipts were collected and earmarked for future expense.” That doesn’t actually mean anything. Even if there was some correlation between gov’t revenue collection (but just on a cash basis, not accrual basis??) and stock market performance, you wouldn’t see it take effect on the exact day of the tax deadline, lol. I’m pretty sure 4/15 isn’t a “surprise deadline,” we’ve known about this for awhile now. This sounds like some sound bit the guys on the FastMoney desk yell out when they only have three seconds and the music starts playing.

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    • The Fly

      There are correlations to everything.

      Markets are being let go until July/August.

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    • Cascadian

      I’m writing a big check today. Sold some last week to draw cash for today.

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  18. JakeGint

    Chess nailed the Boston bombings before even Drudge did!

    That’s crackerjack reporting!

    ________

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  19. razorsedge

    Wow

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