This just in from the ass of Greece: officials have agreed to a deal, in kind, that will “levy” a one time “tax” of 20%, specifically from customers from The Bank of Cyprus–custom tailored to those are fortunate enough to have 100,000 euros in their checking accounts. For citizenry of the ass of Greece, otherwise known as Cyprus, who have accounts across the street from The Great Bank of Cyprus, you will only be levied by 4%. For those of you who are well placed and fortunate to have 99,999 euros in any bank, your money shall not be disturbed from its slumber and shall continue to earn the lavish 12.5% interest rates you have grown to respect and enjoy.
Please, feel free to eat a gyro and speak fondly about the Turkish military, as you “digest” this news. Be sure to mention this news to some of your eldest citizenry, as they are always fond of helping government officials and CEOs of banks save face and continue the status quo.
We should all rejoice in this litmus test for the new world order, a preview of things to come.
The United Steaks has so much debt and we’re all very scared of it. For the love of old books and broken grandfather clocks, the sages at the S&P have DOWNGRADED US debt–fearing we will continue a path of acute dysfunction, which could one day put the debt service in jeopardy.
Fear not, small sagely plebs from Fitch, the Cyprus model has shed light into the dark abyss. When you look into the abyss, you can see endless roads of gold, rubies and diamonds–all earmarked for the federal government at a later date. Eliminate inheritance or tax it boldly and the debt shall be $00.00.
This is a work of art in motion. The majority of you are not able to see the sleight of hand, just the mannerisms of the clever conductor.
All is good, with exception for those with accounts located at 1398 Nicosia.
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FIG
Damn it.
Happens to the best of us.
“All your base are belong to us”
– Germany
A meeting is being held at the White House right now, Obama can be heard berating Geithner for not thinking of this first.
Does this signal the beginning of a new financial era?
Due to the Cypress Crisis, fiat currency has reached the end of it’s usefulness, so it has no choice but to evolve, from Fiat Currency to the new and improved FUMF Currency.
“FUMF Currency” stands for F***U MotherF***** currency, which is appropriate under the circumstances, and the Euro is the harbinger of this new currency classification.
The money isn’t being destroyed, merely recycled.
You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!
Tax the rich! They will feel the impact the least! Their money was probably earned by robbing the poor or milking the system anyway. The same should be done here in America at once before the rich start emptying their bank accounts!
The reason it has taken so long to find a solution to Cyprus is because members of parliament had to find a bank that they could tax that none of them had deposits in!
Whoa, you sound like the guy on the front page picture!
Yes he too was a real comedian back in the day!
Banks taking wealth.. Sounds a lot like the iBC news article I just read tonight.
http://www.marketoracle.co.uk/Article39596.html
Marc- In my opinion all you can do is:
1. Over time, secure your wealth in physical assets.
2. Vote, and encourage others who share your view to vote.
And here is an article from Bloomberg. I think the author is nuts, and describing a latter stage of an end game, not a wonderful new period.
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-03-20/why-global-economies-face-an-age-of-deflation.html
That’s Gary A Schilling of course.
That guy’s bat-shit insane. He’s been calling for a disaster for a long time.
Some see it that way, some do not. And those that do not, should not be classified as being less intelligent. Maybe just seeing things through different color shades….
Hot off the presses : Temper Pedix has new model with a safe built in!
TPX FTW baby! Lol
The U.S. plan is not to do what Cyprus is did. The U.S. plan is to borrow & spend until the humongous debt blows up in our faces. Meanwhile, people will think they have solved the problem by voting for the party that TALKS about balancing the budget– despite the fact that both parties, once in office, spend like drunken sailors. Politicians would never lie, right?
* hunts for kyle bass mask *
Here’s what is going to happen. The U.S. will eventually be in so much debt that they too will be forced to tax the bank accounts of the rich. Anyone with assets over 100,000 will have to pay 20%. If you’re lucky this will only be a one time tax.
Anyone under that wil be safe for now. The Fly will not escape this haircut. He must do his patriotic duty and pay up.
http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2013/03/breaking-assad-shot-by-iranian-bodyguard-hospitalized-in-damascus/
rumor du jour … Assad Shot by Bodyguard
if he drops dead that should be good enough to take the S&P to new highs … not that Benny’s printing press needs a reason
Let’s be honest here. Cypriot Banks are no less Ponzi schemes than Icesave or Stanford Financial Group.
I have a hard time feeling sorry for anyone who is ‘burned’ as a result of Cypriot banks collapsing.
If Assad is dead, pay attention to how 0bama embraces whatever follows. IE: more Muslim Brotherhood peeps or worse…