iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,445 Blog Posts

THE PANIC OF 2012

By order of decree, the market has topped. The Federal Reserve has ordered the spigot of free flowing counterfeit money– flowing into the economy– to be shut. The majority of Congressmen are now long TVIXdicks and VXXtits, hedonistically eating grapes on the way to theatre.

As a result, European stocks got hammered today, lending to a full fledged panic out of US stocks, now off by a staggering 1.15%.

“The Fly” timed the market top to the minute by selling his VXXtits north of $20 and buying YELP at $21. The 7% appreciation enjoyed by his person is about to be seized by his local Congressman. The money will be transfeured [sic] to the Representative, so that he may conclude the proper renovations for his Georgian style mansion in the Washington DC area.

In short, the ‘Cocaine Chuck Wagon’ has been turned over by bandits. The Pinkerton men who were guarding the wagon where shot and killed and the treasure has been stolen. Said bandits are now running loose throughout your communities, laughing and drinking stupidly, wearing FAZ uniforms, shitting in plain site outside of crowded movie theatres.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CevILyvApw&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL9EF1A27C3B64A9D5 603 500] If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

33 comments

  1. drummerboy

    ooh good,time to go cut the front lawn and then grab a sammy,sumpin up

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  2. acehood

    time to buy coal

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  3. Clegger_2000

    Long shit bag dispensers…

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  4. chivo

    the pinkerton men..lol

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  5. Bullish

    Oh the HORROR indeed… as it stands now the S&P is only up 11.2% since the start of the year. What a travesty!

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  6. London

    hmmm… fully invested, racing for the sun, heavily exposed to internet momo stocks… now that’s a time-machine! I seem to recall the need arose to get out and push a bit, last time ’round.

    Just a one-day dip, I know – the yelp dip-buyers are already wading in.

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  7. MetalLeg

    It’s not that bad…yet.

    Bernanke or one of his henchmen will run their mouths and juice the markets again within the next couple of days.

    That’s their game. Control the price of commodities/equities/USD while pumping money into the system via the back door. Nothing has changed.

    There’s no way to fund a $1.3 trillion deficit (at the Federal level only) without borrowing or printing. Their ability to borrow is becoming more limited so the printing option will become their main tool without ever admitting it. It’s already begun but the sheep do as they’re told rather than use their noggins to figure things out for themselves.

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    • leftcoasttrader
      leftcoasttrader

      What makes you think the deficit has to be funded?

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      • MetalLeg

        How does one pay bills without funding?

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        • leftcoasttrader
          leftcoasttrader

          Well they certainly don’t check the tax receipts and how many bonds will be auctioned before coming out with a budget. Never have, never will. Legal it has to be “funded” so there must be at least an attempt to make it look like it is funded. But technically it has always, and will always, come from an empty bank account, created out of thin air. “Funding” such as bonds are only auctioned in order to control the overnight lending rate.

          But let’s ignore all that for now. You say their ability to borrow is becoming more limited. What makes you think that? 10 year yields a little above a record low sub 2% have you scared? Last I checked yields have never been lower, meaning there has never been more confidence in the government’s ability to pay it’s bills and continue to spend into the future.

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          • Frog

            Yes, LOL, governments can do things that businesses and individuals never could do in a million years. They don’t have to abide by the rules constraining individuals at all. History does prove this.

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          • Mouth of Sauron
            Mouth of Sauron

            why am I, or any of us, doing our taxes then?

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          • leftcoasttrader
            leftcoasttrader

            Personally, I’m looking to avoid federal “pound me in the ass” prison.

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  8. waytogo

    TVIXdicks and VXXtits, lol, now THAT’s funny!

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  9. Dr Funk

    Nice that AAPL had a post-Jobs swoon

    Ugly someday coming down the other side

    Margins, Competition, Ge Msft Csco Intc

    There’s only so many friggin apps a single person can need and use at one time!

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    • Mark

      Swoon? It’s down less than the market after hugely outperforming all the averages YTD. Obviously AAPL will eventually “come down the other side” at some point and that will be ugly. But it’s hard to see that happening short of $1000 given the current fundamentals and momentum. Of course if the markets tanks, then so will AAPL. But it’ll likely tank less.

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  10. john colter

    another post screen saved…. for a rainy day pick me up.
    prescient market perspective? probably. will be keeping in my noggin as i trade inside 12631. thanks @FLY

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  11. Blind Read Ant

    lol. Another classic LeFly post.

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  12. Burlapped Bearshitter
    Burlapped Bearshitter

    300% long FAZ TZA TVIX. I’m looking forward to the destruction of the global financial system and your idiot grandma’s dumb IRA.

    My first target is SPX 923 May 9th 2012. By Sept we should be sub SPX 666.

    Quarter 1 2013, SPX will go negative and shareholders will owe money to the companies of that stock.

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  13. Belly of the Beast
    Belly of the Beast

    XPO – coverage initiated at Deutsche with a buy rating. How many microcaps do they cover ? …… 1 ?

    Makes me so happy, I might start pronouncing Deutsche the German way ….

    Careful, you know how those people like to march. Even at 1:32 you can see it in the
    little girls eyes when she starts to sing ….

    http://youtu.be/bs5bnVoZK4Q

    .

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  14. Bond Troll

    Bandits also singing from Zero Hedge while defecating in public; absolutely disgusting!

    Da Bull shall strike again with vengeance. And soon. Buying.

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  15. johnrotten

    Aapl will pull us out from the bear shit

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  16. drummerboy

    hey come on.we all knew this shit would end.uncle clam,the bearded one,has surmised,that we are out of rehab,and can walk on our own………HA HA HA HA HA crack babies are crying because they can’t lactate from the bearded clam tits no more cause they cant get high .

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  17. Rat f

    “lending to a full fledged”???

    Fucks SAKES, man!

    Clean up your act!

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  18. Honolulu Trader
    Honolulu Trader

    $ERY Fuck oil …9.33

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  19. razorsedge

    is sara palin a PILF? buyin more wprt at this juncture might be prudent.

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  20. Frog

    PILF has 24 acronyms, the first letter standing for pineapple, pornstar, pork, and pokemon–for the 3 most obscene examples.

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  21. mortongould

    my my how we can spin spin spin… Do you talk to yourself in the mirror a lot? you know like DeNiro?

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  22. rooster

    Oh no everyone sell everything. Don’t worry I will sell it back to you later. For a small premium of course.

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