iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,445 Blog Posts

You Just Don’t Get It

Please don’t humiliate yourselves with uneducated critiques of YELP. Let me remind you of past critiques of CMI @ $45, MNST @$20, BWLD @$35, FOSL at $70, LULU at $45, GMCR @ $25, FTK @ $1, NFLX @ $79, WNR @$12, GSVC $12 etc. The list goes on and on and on, ad nauseam. Let me explain something to you, pal, you know absolutely nothing about stocks. Your expertise extends to a few lines and dots and some graph paper, charting out your moving averages, trying to find the next “breakout.”

“The Fly” does not base his decisions on charts or on the opinions of retarded analysts. My research derives from outerspace, while taking tea breaks, sitting near my orbital space cannon.

Naturally, I do not speak to all of you, so don’t take offense if you are a gentleman with a top hat. But for the old fuckers with commodore computers talking shit about YELP, ooh, I’m gonna rip your jaw from your fucking faces. I will underwrite vicious violence upon your person should you continue to talk shit about my stocks, in my house. Take your jargon elsewhere, Sir; for not only is it not desired, it is deplored!

I started positions in JWN and BID today, ahead of the spring auction season. And, as you know, I bought more YELP.

Look for the faces of the bears to get weazened in the coming days and weeks ahead. I shall continue my belligerent assaults on the markets, without reservation, and most certainly without pause.

 

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36 comments

  1. noodle

    I hope YELP goes to the moon for you sir Fly. I am waiting for next month, and will buy it on a dip.

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  2. Blind Read Ant

    Wish I had brass balls on $YELP… .

    In other news, another opportunity to short GBP/JPY has occurred. Easy 150 PIPS to the down$ide.

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  3. Blind Read Ant

    Oh, and LeFly, might I suggest Forte Tea: http://www.teaforte.com/

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  4. tinatoledo

    Fly, do you still like CPST?

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  5. Greg

    I mean if you have no time horizon YELP would not be a bad thing and should work out. I mean daily looks decent.

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  6. Hack

    Time to buy DECK or is it DRECK?

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    • donker

      who would buy their fugly crap? DRECK

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      • Hack

        People like to spend money on ugly metrosexual crap. Besides, traders are buying shit stocks right and left.

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  7. Bullish

    I just ordered lunch with the use of my Yelp mobile app. Just not sure how they got paid in the process.

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    • JakeGint

      Once they’ve been alerted that their service has been used, they sashay over to your lunch place, drag the cashier over the counter, and then sap him to within an inch of consciousness.

      Then the counter cashier remits all of the currency in his drawer and they leave.

      ________

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      • Mike

        ahhhhhh…now thats a business!!!

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      • Bullish

        Do they beat them till they Yelp?!

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      • duck

        It really is close to extortion. If you don’t pay and become Yelp approved or whatever they will highlight other business on your page and lower your search return ranking… legal mafia

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  8. Rat f

    We shall not take “offense”, for that is impossible, at least for a gentleman who went to school – educated persons shall instead not take offence

    Carry on …

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  9. JohnN

    I hope it is not too great an effrontery on my part if I make mention that I prefer the more dynamic first movement of this piece, sir.
    with all possible apologies.

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  10. GoodGreed

    Welcome about the BID train.

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  11. ruggyup

    Betting here that YELP acquires OPEN.

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  12. youknowitsme

    I don’t get it Fly. Why not initiate a position in BID in Dec – Jan when it was much, much lower……….

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    • crazymoppo

      yeah, you should ALWAYS buy a stock two months before it goes way up. It’s so simple I don’t know why everyone doesn’t just do that.

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      • youknowitsme

        I base my comment on the fact that the Fly’s thesis was BID always goes up in the spring, so why wait until the spring to buy. seems simple – buy it in the winter.

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  13. OG

    ZNGA shorts will also get murdered.

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  14. Cascadian

    I don’t know about the stock, YELP. But in performing a bit of due diligence I shashayed over to their website, where I was unimpressed. Maybe us left coasters just don’t give a shit about their stuff.

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  15. Bill

    Is JWN a play off TIF’s beat yesterday?

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  16. The_Real_Hmmm

    Fly-

    Check this out- a good sign:

    http://www.google.com/trends/?q=yelp

    Huge in Cali.

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  17. No Oil Shortage in the US
    No Oil Shortage in the US

    DNP is a closed-end fund at a daily and weekly technical low right now. It pays a 7.4% annual yield, on a monthly basis.

    You’re welcome.

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  18. FIG

    All you need to know is MAKO. All time highs and going much higher!

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  19. riggedgame

    Since you were down to 25% cash before today, either you took smaller positions than you have been taking, or you are “all in”.

    What will you get reid of first?

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  20. dave

    One could make a great deal of money from YELP simply by charging a business for posting multiple positive reviews.

    Drats… Somebody already figured this game out.

    http://yelpsucks.blogspot.com/2007/09/pay-per-yelp.html

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  21. Carlo Zamboni

    “When it became necessary for him to put people where they belonged, [the Fly] was in the habit of laughing down from lazy eyelids and flicking a speck of dust from the irreproachable Mechlin lace at his wrists.”

    – P.G. Wodehouse

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    • ruggyup

      “His reserve of disdain appears endless. He could no more shut it down than a vampire could forego his nightcap.”

      R.Z. Sheppard

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