I hope you realize, we’re just giving money away here. Back in the old days, these contests were open to everyone, even the miscreants who plagued me in the comments section. However, as the ranks in our membership swelled, it was only right for me to reward my people with a form of lottery.

After the March madness contest, I intend to do two more contests in 2012: one in the summer and another around X-Mas. I already know what sort of contest it’s going to be. But if you have any ideas worth sharing, feel free to jot them the fuck down in the comments section. We’ll be giving away about $3,000, one open to The PPT club and another exclusive to the fine Pelicans inside 12631.

I’m here in Orlando, Florida, readying to help create some long lasting memories with my little ones. As usual, my flight was idiotic and the fucking olives given to me on the plane made me sick. Nevertheless, I am now in a 5 star hotel and feel at ease. Tomorrow is an off day for me; but I will be sure to post a blog or two, perhaps poolside (as you know, the pools are heated at 86 degrees).

Futures are sharply higher because China feels it makes sense to battle inflation and create inflation at the same time. It makes sense, if you think about it. The whole world is inside out stupid. We might as well just start doing shit that makes no sense, whatsoever, just to throw the cynics off. If I was Bernanke, I’d cut rates to -0.5% and tell everyone “get out their and buy a fucking home, assholes,” just after I loaded the fuck up with $1 trilly in index call options. Hell, the Fed can make all of the money back by just partaking in a little insider trading. If Congress can do it, why can’t Ben?

I’m kidding of course. Ben and the Fed have been fucking with the market since Reagan signed executive order 12631.

At any rate, I have a pretty good idea what stocks are worth gambling on. If I buy, it will only betray everything I believe in, not a big deal. It’s the crack-cocaine, frankly. I smell its tantalizing aroma and it taunts me with its grandeur, as I lie here in the lonely tall grass.