Apple shit on shorts in haunting after-hours trading. It’s almost as if Steve Jobs came back to mudstomp shorts, one last time, before chilling out in some heavenly carrot farm. Apple derivative plays will shred bears tomorrow, equal only to the horrors of how the infamous chicken Mcnugget is fashioned.
Chickens are captured and punched in the face. Their legs are tied and beaks snapped off by line workers. Then they are shoved– alive– into filthy large “Mcnugget machines”, where they are turned into paste. The paste is collected by employees of McDonald’s, who happen to be goblins living off minimum wage, and first placed plainly into cardboard boxes, then into big plastic bags. The plastic bags are then tossed onto conveyor belts, where they gloomily travel under dimly lit halogen lamps, often flickering and pestered by vermin, then, finally, dropped into boiling water. While boiling, employees of the McDonald’s fish out the bags with grotesquely large nets, and placed onto metal tables– where other Mcdonald’s employees cut them open with knives.
MCNUGGET MACHINE
The cooked meat is rolled and hand inspected for loose feathers or pieces of beak, then sent merrily onto another conveyor belt to be breaded, “spiced” and shaped. After the meat is freeze dried and packaged, deviant truck drivers grab them and throw them violently onto trucks to be delivered to your local McDonald’s.
THAT’S WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN TO THE FUCKING SHORTS TOMORROW.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtJMpwofp7k 603 500] If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter
I can picture the shorts traveling down the conveyer belt screaming, WAIT!!! Let me out!!!
I am the Rodney Dangerfield of trading signals. Sigh….
Senor Fly, you forgot the part where the McDonalds employees add 90 different carcinegenic ingredients to help with flavor, texture and shelf life.
I was hoping some of you could fill in the details.
Doc did you ever get fired at McDonald’s. What’s your Mcbeef with Mickey D?
I crashed my favorite calash into one of their stores and they refused to give it back to me.
my chicken dinner just came up 🙁
You forgot where they douse the paste in ammonia to kill the filthy germs in the paste then reflavor it because Ammonia Nuggets don’t seem appetizing.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/04/mechanically-separated-meat-chicken-mcnugget-photo_n_749893.html
Meat is murda !
lmao. Funny stuff fly.
Haha, this is some top shelf funny post Dr.!
Thank you.
not so fast, FOMC is the trick tomorrow and might take a nose dive after the announcement. just my opinion.
I will start a hedge after the open.
tomorrow is maker or breaker.
I emailed your column to McDonald’s customer relations department and they dispute one of the statements in your article! They say that they do not use halogen lighting! They want you to know that they are a “Green” company and only use Compact florescent bulbs!
As a sidenote, I found your description of the “Anatomy of a McNugget” f’n hilarious!
FOMC will burn them all, shorts and longs.
Your dick is not safe no matter the size.
Pervert.
1+
I hope that pink crap on the picture is not chicken… probably tastes like one though
That’s the Mcdonald chicken Mcnugget. Google it.
Holy shit!!! I thought you made it up, I thought it is some kind of an ice cream… this looks horrible once you know it’s chicken…
Woodshedder loves this stuff. He eats it sushi style.
may be you should seriously talk to him,., this is horrible.. I don’t think anyone should eat this
Idiots, all of you. What do you propose the poor people eat when you take away all their affordable foods?
stop trading stocks,.. you wouldn’t be poor lol
ok ok just kidding
I do not think it is affordable any longer, for a $1-2 extra you can eat at much better place which serves un-processed chicken….
we just care about your arteries 🙂
Seriously, why do you think McDonald’s does well in a recession? What is the biggest barrier to a green economy and more healthy foods? The answer is poverty.
Partridge: THEY DO NOT USE MECHANICALLY SEPARATED CHICKEN.
Jeez…Some people will fall for anything.
ok… you have to convince Fly first lol
I do own shares for a few years though in my retirement account (mechanically separated or not – business is business)
I like McDonald’s.
If you ate at a 5 star restaurant every night, it would still be just as unhealthy, unless you ordered a freaking salad with no fat dressing, every meal.
But you wouldn’t eat at a 5 star restaurant every night, just as you shouldn’t eat McDonald’s every day.
Wood
Seriously, you are very wrong about MCD. Comparing MCD to a 4 star restaurant is ridiculous.
soylent green is people
Ramen Noodles among many other things are a far cheaper, and more healthy meal than this SPAM nugget. Buy food in bulk and prepare yourself and it will be cheaper, pound for pound.
“The Fly” never lies, even when he is telling mistruths.
No different. Tell me 4 star restaurant food is not loaded in saturated fats and cholesterol.
tell me a 4 star restaurant that has a single example of beaks found in their food.
Google “mechanically separated chicken”.
“The cooked meat is rolled and hand inspected for loose feathers or pieces of beak.”
That’s just too frik’n funny!
Oh yeah? Ever bite into a nugget and get a hard piece?
Cartilage? NO
BEAK.
Aside from the occasional Kobe beef filet, a visit to a factory farm (with battery caged chicken-stinking in the ammonia-laced darkness) made me decide to be mostly a vegetarian a few years ago. I have to admit, the bad cholesterol went down, and the good stuff went up. Blood pressure got better. Meat is nasty stuff, for the most part. Except for bacon, of course.
for your perusal:
Dead Meat by Sue Coe
The Steve Jobs carrot farm is a hoot! Carrot futures will be way up tomorrow.
Who buys AAPL if shorts don’t panic? The Conf call has to be perfect, without any hair on it. I am so sick of AAPL.
Everyone.
just wait they will design car next lol white and really slick
Dear Fly, We will see,lot of people already own way too much of it. Mr. P, lol, noooooo..I am already bracing for them killing the TV industry, you know that Hitachi is going to stop making TVs. The Cars will probably use their own roads which you have to pay to use and use no real auto parts like engines..lol.
Futures up a whopping 3 points… you want to get short here …ITS ALL OVER.. this bullshit rally that is.
futures are for people who trade them.. do you?
PS: I trade stocks, futures are meaningless to me
the leftover feathers and feces are sold to Phillip Morris, sprayed with rat poison and wrapped into cigarettes – value is extracted from each step of the chain, like native americans with buffaloes, nothing is wasted.
Rofl. One of the best posts ever.
…that is unless you’re short.
Ah hem …
Life is short ! Too short !!!
—
Therefore, a life without great Cheese … great Wine … great Bread … Bacon … Pizza … Chicken Fried Steak with Gravy … Mashed Potatoes … Steak … Baked Potatoes (loaded) … Tacos … Enchiladas (and a few Top Shelf Margaritas) … Fajitas … Tamales … Meatloaf (did I mention Mashed Potatoes?) … Black Eyed Peas and Cornbread … Grilled Shrimp (dipped in butter) … a
bowl of Chili and a cold Beer on a cold day … BBQ’d Ribs, Brisket, Chicken, Shrimp, Sausage (fill-in-tha-blank) …
—
I could go on and on …
I didn’t even touch on desserts …
—
Life is short … too short !
Eat … Drink … Be Merry !!!
Oh … and by tha way … go for a Jog … git on a Bike … git on a Treadmill … play a round of Golf … play some Tennis … MOVE … and git on a focused daily vitamin and supplement regimen !!!
Do THAT … and go enjoy your life !!!
.
alf,
I wonder how you look in real life…
this is some writing….
Amen.
Uhhhh, no. More like this considering the “ghetto vibe” up in this bitch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPC89tObGhE
Golf??? F that… GHETTO WORKOUTS
Fly, you are wrong. McDonald’s has not used MSM since 2003. You have fallen for a hoax.
what’s MSM?
mechanically separated meat, or in this case, MSP. (Poultry).
I made this story up from my imagination.
Its a good story, and a great blog post, but it is not true.
Go back to your regularly scheduled, all white meat, non mechanically separated McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets.
http://www.snopes.com/food/prepare/msm.asp
Maybe they don’t use that practice anymore, but eating at a place responsible for a fried chicken head in a Mcnugget box is not exactly what I would sign up for.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=94840&page=1
Fact: A 4 piece McNuggest has almost the exact nutrition profile as a serving of potato chips.
http://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en/food/product_nutrition.chicken.124.chicken-mcnuggets-4-piece.html
Since when were potato chips considered good for you?
Pimp, my gawd man, really. Since when was a steak considered good for you? What are you in charge of the U.S. School Lunch program?
Good God man. You’re nutritionally out of touch. Good quality meats are the basis of a healthy diet. The war on fat and cholesterol and the replacing macro-nutrient (i.e. carbohydrates) has brought us sky rocketing obesity and disease rates. Time to re-educate yourself.
So you advocate eating steak every day?
I certainly don’t see anything wrong with it. I advocate eating the foods we have evolved or were created to eat.
With the advent of agriculture and animal husbandry we’ve seen upticks in maladies from obesity to tooth decay. Nowadays anyone can go out and buy some bullshit diet book on Amazon or watch the Dr. Oz show and think themselves a nutrition expert. It’s pathetic. In reality, nutritional science is one of the least understood of all the sciences. For this reason I think it is important to admit we don’t know all the answers, yield to our hunter-gather ancestors, and attempt to mimic their diet as best we can in this modern industrialized world. That means a diet devoid of grains, added sugars, legumes, and most dairy and rich in pastured meats, wild caught fish, vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds.
But if that doesn’t do it for most people, f*ck it. Let them eat cake.
I’ve got no problem with steak. Hell, I’ll snack down on some nuggets from time to time as well. I’m just saying using potato chips as a comparison to “prove” nuggets aren’t that bad is silly.
More: http://articles.businessinsider.com/2010-10-10/news/29994815_1_ground-chicken-white-meat-food-science
Last time I saw a face like that, it had a hook in it.-R. Dangerfield
Agency Proposes Labels on Poultry Products Containing Bone
By MARIAN BURROS
Published: December 04, 1994
(Note the date!!!)
“The Agriculture Department has proposed a change in its rules that would require labels on poultry products to reflect the presence of crushed bone. Such labeling has been required on red-meat products since 1982.
Specifically, the rule, announced on Friday, would require the poultry industry to note when it has used “mechanically separated” chicken or turkey. In that process, food processors recover the bits of meat that remain after hand boning by crushing the bones and running the mass through a sieve or other screen.”
So if you don’t want to eat mechanically separated poultry, DON’T BUY IT. IT WILL BE LISTED ON THE DAMN LABEL, as required by law since 1995.
http://www.nytimes.com/1994/12/04/us/agency-proposes-labels-on-poultry-products-containing-bone.html
At my lowest point I would never snap the beak off an animal for a paycheck. I’d rob banks for a living first or rob drug dealers. Who in hell would take this job?
Someone who needs a paycheck.
DISGUSTING MAN YOU ARE
I made this Spanish/Mexican food tonight and it kills everything McDonald’s has ever made. Braised cinnamon chicken, jicama slaw, lime crema, pickled onions, cilantro, lime, and rice (no chipotle). Just try being less lazy and stop hitting up the QSRs.
Here is the healthy food that Wood puts in the same class as the food I eat at a 4 star restaurant.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG8yJOrVc5I
Fly, so you are advocating taking every meal at a 4 star restaurant?
I am advocating not feeding kids this poison. Go home and make them food on your stove. It will be w/o chemicals, excess fat and it will taste better.
I think it is perfectly safe if kids eat an occasional meal at McDonald’s. In fact, there are millions if not billions examples showing that it is.
Only those who are stupid or poor or both would feed their kids enough fast food often enough to poison them. And those people are not likely to ever cook on the stove. If they decided to, where would they shop? When is the last time you saw a fucking Whole Foods Market in the ghetto? How about a farmer’s market? Ever seen one in Compton?
15 mins away
http://wholefoodsmarket.com/stores/torrance/
So…how close is the closest McDonald’s? How much is bus fare? Gonna walk to WFMI? Lol…Good find though. I give you credit for that.
So are you saying poor people don’t have cars?
Nope. Are you saying poor people are going to shop at WFMI and pay the inflated prices just to hear the jazz music, smell the patchouli and admire the hot girls with dreadlocks?
If WFMI really wanted to help the world, they’d build a store smack dab in the middle of the ghetto, and then lower their prices by half.
The prices are not out of reach and they accept food stamps.
Sure, if you are lazy and dumb, MCD is easy and cheap. But I don’t think just because someone is poor equates to them not wanting to eat healthy or know the difference between crap and wholesome food. And cut it out with the hippie references to organic food. It makes you look like JakeGint or archie bunker.
I was at WFMI last weekend, as well as another meat/produce market, Tom Leonard’s. WFMI prices on meat and produce were close to double, on most items, over Tom Leonards.
As for the hippie references, do you know where you were when Jerry died? I know where I was. I’m a reformed hippie. I’m allowed to make note of dreadlocks and patchouli, and I can tell you that I see more of it in WFMI than I do in Kroger.
I’m all for organic food, although I prefer farms that use sustainable practices and are what most reasonable people would consider organic, minus the label, which comes with lots of red tape, and hence, higher prices.
I definetly have no idea where I was when Jerry died. Lol
Who the fuck is Jerry?
It takes me 45 mins to drive to the nearest whole foods. Quit grabbing for MCD cock.
MORE ON Woodshedder’s Mcnuggets
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T67DvoH2H3E&feature=related
Fly, seriously, you are just repeating a hoax. That video just repeats the same pink food paste stuff that you wrote about in your blog post. You can do better.
he is just f**king with you.. and I hope there is no beaks in
MCD apple pie 🙂 I ate a few of these
As far as I know, Mcnuggets are made from paste. Show me something that says otherwise. One snopes article doesn’t do it for me. I’ve known them to be wrong before.
Hmmm. Perhaps you’d notice the label that says Mechanically Separated Poultry on the chicken McNugget box. Since it is not there, there’s your proof.
I don’t believe it. Show me some hard proof. Lawyers have very clever ways to get around that sort of shit.
lol…like the food nazis and greenies wouldn’t have sued the shit out of McDonald’s if they were using MSP and it was not listed on the label, AS REQUIRED BY LAW.
YUMMY. Dig in Wood
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IGtDPG4UfI
Why would anyone wait 4 years to eat it?
Duh. It speaks to the chemicals already in the burger that you ingest, happily, whilst eating their cardboard fries.
What, you expect it to stay in my gut for 4 years? Most people express their bowels thousands of times in 4 years.
Have none of you seen “They Live”? Apple is the ultimate infiltrating alien presence…they give us what we want and pretend that they are still “the alternative” to PC’s, even though they have become the dominating force. They not only want to be the sole provider of content, they want to monitor what you use, where you use, how you use…remember the 1984 commercial Apple used to show the world how different they were? Now YOU are one of those drones and Apple has become BIG BROTHER. Shave your head bald and buy more stock!
It’s time to kick ass, and chew bubblegum
And for the clincher
http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2010/06/25/a-tale-of-2-nuggets/?hpt=T2/
I doubt this stacks up to the roasted chicken with risotto I had last week.
Unless your chicken was raised locally by a non-corporate farmer, it is more than likely you just ate a hormone filled, so fat it can’t stand on its own legs, full of antibiotics, chicken. Likely from the same producer that sells chickens to McDonald’s.
Totally untrue. Every grocery store sells chicken w/o hormones and anti- biotics. Why are you fibbing?
Fly, seriously, ever seen Food Inc?
You do realize that there are only a few poultry producers in the entire country?
You’re buying your chicken from the same companies that sell to McDonald’s. More than likely. Again, unless you are getting from a local co-op or farmer.
I second that.. free-run (free range) organically fed chickens are available…
did you know that for many decades big corp farmers used to feed chickens with beef and pork meal until somebody found out and prohibited that, chickens are designed to vegetarians.. imagine genetically engineered meat impact on their bodies, may be even worse than chemicals.
Mr. Partridge, do yourself a favor and google up what you have to do as a producer to qualify your chicken as “free-range.” Its a fucking joke. You won’t believe it.
Who cares if they are organically fed if they are fed so much that their legs won’t support them and they have been selectively bred to have breasts so big that they can’t walk.
You guys have missed the forest for the trees.
So how many of you participating in this thread has ever worked in a Tyson Foods (or equivalent) poultry processing facility?
Unfortunately I can answer yes to the above question from waaaay back in the day. I know how your nuggets / chicken burgers / etc. are made.
Pimp, sorry to hear that. I worked for a place where our maintenance guy’s wife worked for the local poultry producer. And by local, I mean we could smell the shit and hear the fans when they turned them on. She told some crazy scary stories. Blood so deep coming over the top of her boots when the drains clogged. Blood congealing, effectively scabbing over. I could go on and on. Tell us some stories Pimp.
There’s McDonalds haters, just like there’s Walmart haters and haters of banks and Wall St. (occupy type people)
WMT is fine. But don’t fuck with my food. I will kill you.
Once again, another industry pro says MCD makes from paste.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKSoiDtdi9s
And he is wrong. Christ, just read the comments under the video. Even the odd YouTube user knows more than that doofus.
Ketchup can be up to 3% worm meat. They don’t use the best tomatoes to make ketchup, so there is some worm stuff mixed in there usually. But that’s all good. It’s boiled and all, so it turns out to be a minor source of protein.
Apples and oranges.
condiments are nasty. it spoils the food unless the food is so bad, you need it to blott out the taste of the garbage Mcspam
Same shit as the chicken you cook at home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhsfgYMjjJk&feature=related
That’s not what I said. I said you likely got your chicken from the same producer that sells to McDonald’s.
There is nothing odd about MCD food, at all
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgH6C1itI08&NR=1&feature=endscreen
… there IS something “crazy good” about Mickey D’s “French Fries” !
THAT … can NOT be denied !
.
I will concur with the gentleman from Texas.
Please pass tha ketchup, Sir !
😀
.
it used to be they cooked the fries in beef talow was why they tasted good.it was until the coffee hot lip people found out and bitched to stop using beef talow to cook the fries. shit,in the pioneer days thats what the fuck you used. render some bacon fat,cut up a russet and fry that mother,chances are you’ll do it again.
Wood’s right though. MickyD’s is crap, but it does provide cheap sustenance for people. Especially working single parents. We aren’t Europe. Most people in the US are so busy working or parenting that having large home cooked meals with organic foods just isn’t an option every night of the week.
Fly, you’re getting lazy. Quit posting YouTube bullshit and find something legitimate.
I am finished trying to convince you of anything. I learned a lot of about you today and care not to discuss food any longer.
You have no idea how we eat. http://frogbottomfarm.com/ or find them on Facebook, and you’ll find us as a drop site. Heck, you’ll even find some of the dishes we make on their facebook page. That’s right we use a co-op for our vegetables. Our beef comes from Greenway Beef.
http://www.greenwaybeef.com/
I challenge this MCD hatred because you are really missing the big problem, which is that corporate food producers have made unhealthy food so cheap and healthy food so expensive that many people cannot afford to eat healthy. If you want to rail away on something that matters, that is where you need to start.
Oh, and watch Food, Inc., right away.
And I’ve learned a lot about you, Fly.
For one thing, you seem to believe I’m an advocate for shitty food, just because I called you out for your egregious Billy Sundaying about your newfound health prospects last night.
Nothing could farther from the truth.
You construct straw men with the best of them.
_____________
Okay folks, I give up. Last I checked, ibankcoin didn’t cater to the welfare audience, struggling to make ends meet, only able to buy Happy Meals.
If you fuckers want to eat that stuff, enjoy.
When you are 400lbs, high blood pressure, diabetic and dickless, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
McDonald’s is what made this country great. We are a great country because of Big Mac’s and McFlurries. There are countries around the world that would KILL to have a distribution system for cheap food that was half as efficient and calorically dense as McDonald’s. Fucking capitalism at its finest.
I agree with Woodrow. Fly, if you made the argument that eating at home was the way to go, vs eating out REGARDLESS of where you ate…then I’d totally agree.
These phases come and go. I’m surprised that it’s still fashionable to bash MCD. Super Size me didn’t help, which at this point is a totally discredited documentary. “I ate 5000 calories a day at MCD, ergo MCD kills you.” 90% of the population totally buys that agrument without a second thought.
You are naive if you think that some local restaurant is giving you a vastly superior product just because the place has charm and charges you 5x more.
Go into most restaurants in NYC, I would wager that the majority have a dirtier kitchen, with less sanitary food prep techniques than any MCD. MCD has to have a rigid process that is time-tested, and has the entire world just waiting for them to fuck up. Compare that to a place that is owned by some guy from “the Old World.”
I miss the pre-2003 nuggets.
Nah, white meat only dude.
I am SOOOOO glad I keep Kosher.
LOL!
Best comment of the evening.
Listen, Moses was no meshugannah with those rules.
___________
If you haven’t seen Vegucated, its quite interesting..If you look at a sampling of the business leaders that are or were vegan it is impressive: Steve Wynn, Russel Simmons, Mortimer Zuckerman, Clinton, Jobs.. The list goes on.. Take a look:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=GKzng1_byMY
http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/10_46/b4203103862097.htm
Gotta love Steve Wynn. Even his steak houses at the Wynn have vegan menus. Best food I’ve ever tried was at Wing Lei at The Wynn. Vegan Kung Pao chicken. I no longer need to eat human brains. I’ve been a vegetarian for over a year now. Can’t believe I ever ate at MCD.
Clinton is a Vegitarian by necessity, just like my brother in law, whose genetics also suck.
I’m sorry if you were born with a poor affinity for LDL cholesterol. Go preach to someone else, I’ll be fine.
______________
Vegans are the worst. These are the same people that complain about methane and carbon gasses and global warming. While meat eaters are responsible and eat the cows that fart methane gas, the vegetarians eat the plants that produce oxygen through chlorophyll, contributing to the imagined and well politically funded and manipulated “global warming/ice age” ‘problem’. If they think global arming is a problem, vegetables are the last things they should eat…
I have no problem with the vegetarians and Vegans, but only if they realize they are being irresponsible to the environment they so love, and not self-rightous idiots who think they are making a difference and that somehow there choice of food makes them better than everyone else.
And believe me, the success of people who eat meat includes most of the people on the planet with a few exceptions that you manged to point out.
Can you please go into detail about how they make chalupas at taco bell for your next post? This is amazing
Meanwhile, my squabbling asshats, there was a State of the Union address tonight.
And the repsonse was both magnificent and profoundly disheartening at the same time… odd, no?
_________________
Fly,
I love you man. But I’m an old guy and I’m telling you from one who has been on many healthy kicks and has followed them for fairly long periods of time, the truth is real simple. Eat what you want, but do so in moderation. Life is just too damn short not to enjoy it. Many of my overly health conscious friends are not around anymore. Not to preach, but I think genetics is 90% of who we are. So my god, don’t get so carried away with an idea that you don’t enjoy your limited time on earth.
Hey Fly.
This Vid seems approp.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8nV6sn6raE
How’s that job workin’ out for you, Barry?:
http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/havent-we-heard_618462.html
FLASH FUTURES ABOUT TO GO RED
lol love the blog n comments, a verbal food fight!
yea,we need a recipe section on this site.show these mother fuckers what real throw down is. mcd, i worked there back in my teens,and i’ll bet i still can do up a big mac better than anyone working there now.
Commentors are missing the point. This is a colorful, Tim Buronesque simulation of bear treatment. And it’s hillarious.