ACK, ACK, ACK

I am going to level with you, without the curses and the jokes and the sarcasm.

I am a Space Alien Magician from the planet Boomshacklacka. I’ve come to your planet to bank coin and help small losers, such as yourself, prod along with me. I do not care about economic statistics because they have nothing to do with how the numbers and letters relate to one another. Some of you get very emotional when it comes to buying and selling letters and numbers. That’s why you are poor and I drive in space rockets heading for the Sun. I’ve noticed, in my travels, that people want things to end badly. They harbor disdain for the ruling elite and their jealousy makes them say and do stupid things.

For example: many of you dislike Goldman Sachs because they win all the time. I happen to like Goldman Sachs and feel all American investment banks should operate exactly like them. I have a keen fondness for bankers, because they tend to see things for what they truly are: numbers and letters.

I buy and sell stocks based upon my proprietary algorithms, advice from the shadows near my favorite urinal, nightmares and revenge trades. I do enjoy a good short squeeze, from time to time, because I find people who lie about the letters and numbers, in order to increase numbers, to be reprehensible. On my planet, lying short sellers are vaporized on the spot. On your planet they walk around with fancy bow ties and harangue others from well trafficked websites, an abomination in my opinion.

For the month of February, I am long inflationary plays, namely gold, silver and agricultural names. I believe they will “springboard” higher and torture those who bet against them. Stocks like EXK, NGD, AGU and MOS are crowd favorites for the month of February.

Other stocks worth mentioning are ATPG, BORN, KEG and FORM, all selected by my own hand in an effort to increase my digits.

I bought 10,000 NGD, low $9.20’s.

Disclaimer: If you buy NGD because of this post, an evil leprechaun will kill you for your certificates. And, you may lose money.

Indeud.

The jobs report just came out and boy is it exciting. The official unemployment rate plunged 0.4%, down to 9.0%, thanks to the disappearance of 700,000 people. Following last month’s disappearance of 500,000, it’s fair to say the government is doing a fine job at killing people, in order to reduce joblessness. After all, the lower the pool of available workers, the better that fucking rate looks, no?

In other news, Mrs. Fly walked in on me watching Fast Money last night (re-run) and queried: “who are those nerds?” The clever geeks over at Fast Money have a new segment where two people sit on a stool facing one another, having at it on a particular subject. Yesterday, that Brian Kelly (BEAKS!) guy was battling some fucking dork over the sustainability of the solar industry. It was ridiculous, really, especially the part when Brian Kelly stood up to make his case about how solar is so fucking cool, while some idiot music chimes out in the background.

Mrs. Fly is exactly right when calling them “nerds.”

In closing, the market should trade up today, thanks to such a kickass jobs report, regardless of whether 700,000 people were viciously murdered by our government.

POMO

You internet fuckers, with no professional experience in the securities industry, better be careful who you accuse of being fraudulent.  The SEC loves to go after the “little guy” aka you. All of the recent carnage being applied to the Chinese stock sector will have ramifications. Outfits like Muddy Waters and Citron Research will be sued for defamation and their trading accounts will be frozen, if it is revealed that they were working in concert to manipulate share prices. I’ve seen this happen so many times throughout my career and the ending is always the same: bad guys lose.

While it’s true, CCME may be a fraud. How the fuck should I know? They have an auditor and I read somewhere that Hank Greenberg’s firm is involved with them. I don’t know. But, there is something distinctly wrong with people selling short a shares of a thinly traded stock, in advance of a research report that will kill the share price by 30%. Trust me when I say this: if iBankCoin affected the share prices of stocks we talk about, I’d NEVER mention a stock again. I’d be scared to mention anything, if it resulted in 30% moves.

Message to Citron, Muddy Waters and people of that ilk: retain legal counsel.

Let me start by saying I was down 1% today, all due to the cocksucking action in BORN. Some of my loss was offset by gains in EXK; but I still finished down a bit.  So you know, BORN is a rather large position of mine, as I have been buying shares for a month now. My rationale, in my opinion, to buy the shares is sound and the value proposition is solid. However, there are a group of insidious cocksuckers out there, namely Muddy Waters and Citron Research, that make it a point to incessantly target chicoms with their “investigative journalism.” Because Muddy Waters nailed RINO (shot in the dark), people believe they are operating with crystal balls on their fucking desks and magic umbrellas up their asses. Today’s hit piece on CCME is disgusting, for a very specific reason.

They are coordinating their assaults on these companies and using their megaphones to manipulate stock prices. Are they trading ahead of their research? Ask the SEC, see if they care.

Having said that, frustration and anger does not generate gains. I added to my BORN position at the end of the day, but nothing too big. It’s important to understand why the stock is dropping and how low can it go. People are scared. When people get scared, share prices disconnect from reality, allowing those with liquidity to take advantage. However, before that chip can be cashed in, you have to get the timing right. In this case, my bet is for a better than expected earnings report, scheduled to be released 2/15. If you are short this stock and feel they are “cooking the books,” the last thing you want to do is ride this fucker short into earnings. After all, the “books are cooked” no?

Aside from that, I like the market here and will look to add to some precious metal names, which will be researched tonight, while you are asleep.

Gold and silver reversed to the upside, in rather dramatic fashion this afternoon. There doesn’t need to be “news” to see the metals trade up, being that they are lagging the commodity space. Chalk it up to more buyers than sellers. I am not an authority on the metals and can only recommend a handful of names, EXK being my fav. If you want more insight, Jakegint is your man.

Chinese stocks are being destroyed, thanks to a coordinated short attack on CCME. For the record, I do not know CCME and couldn’t care less. But, the stigma of anything Chinese is scaring investors out of all stocks, BORN included. Comparing BORN to CCME is apples and oranges, as BORN went through the regulatory hurdles to come public, via iPO. Either way, it is not fun being on the receiving end of the homo-hammer. In my opinion, it is a buying opportunity.

Separate from that, I like ATPG, AGU and MOS, into the bell.

You have to love Ben Bernanke, especially when he looks Congress in the face and tells them he is not concerned with inflation. On 60 minutes, he looked straight into the camera and declared he was 100% sure he could stop inflation, if needed. Obviously, he couches his inflation argument by pointing to wage growth, instead of commodities. It’s as if the Fed thinks we do not eat food or drive cars. It’s as if they thought we were all robots.

Maybe they’re robots. Something to think about when smoking a large blunt.

Year to date, cotton is up 24%, tin 14%, nickel 12%, cocoa 12%, sugar 11%, uranium 9%, corn 7%, coffee 5%, while the only real negatives are gold -6% and silver -8%. It’s my belief that gold and silver both represent great buying opportunities. As you can see, commodities are not pulling back, but accelerating. It’s simply a matter of asset allocation that is causing precious metals to dip here. Give it some time, you impatient beast of a man.

Over the past year, the numbers are staggering, with regards to commodity prices. Without coming off as some sort of fact checking moron, just know cotton is up 168%, tin 84%, palladium 83% , coffee 75%, silver 69% etc. You get the picture.

With food commodity prices through the roof, expect farmers to spend money like rappers this planting season. Those fuckers are going to upgrade irrigation systems (LNN, VMI), buy new tractors (TEX, CAT) and of course plant lots of crops (MON, BG, DD, SYT), which calls for lots of  fertilizer (AGU, CF, MOS, POT).

Trust me when I tell you, “milk the farmer,” ahead of planting season.

If you are living under a rock or watching the brain dead idiots at Fox news discussing the many evils of Obamacare, Egypt has gone full Mad Max right now, killing people live on tv. Apparently, the pro Mubarak operatives are on the receiving end of extreme mob justice. It’s obvious that the government sent these morons out to start trouble. I believe they made a grave miscalculation. Instead of a docile, “please leave now crowd,” now Mubarak  has a “fuck you, we’re going to burn this country down to the ground” mob, demanding his removal and likely his head. All eyes on the Suez Canal.

U.S. futures are dipping, but nothing dramatic. Gold and oil are climbing and should continue to do well, as this shit hits the fan.

The age of revolution has arrived. Today in Cairo, tomorrow in Washington D.C.

As an aside, I must deride the clowns over at Fox News for their lack of coverage. Where the fuck is Geraldo Rivera when you need him? Whose wise idea was it to forgo live, on the ground, coverage in exchange for typical Hannity/O’Reilly horseshit? Say what you want about MSNBC. But those fuckers boss’d up here with their live coverage. May they steal millions of viewers from the dick-suckers at Fox News, much to the chagrin of devout fan and viewer, Senator Gint.

NOTE: iBC is steaming both CNN and MSNBC on the top right part of the site (retards). All you need to do is click play.

You will be waiting a long, long time. Do not postulate a lower stock market because we are going higher. The very basis of that position is counter-intuitive and against the prevailing trend. In other words, I throw pieces of ham at your face, while you cower under your magic umbrella.

There is no such thing as “easy money”; but this is as good as it gets. Having said that, and I know you agree, why bet against this modern marvel?

For the day I retraced less than 0.2%, basically flat. I had minor losses in EXK, MOS and KEG and gains in ATPG, AGU and FORM.

Back at it tomorrow, with a full heart, as always.

It’s very tempting to get all scared and shit, due to the unrest in Egypt. But then I remembered, “oh yeah, POMO.” No matter how hard you try, you can’t beat the clam, so stop.

Earnings season has been a great success and the recovery is underway. Do not let a little “Egyptian bullshit” get in the way of a little stock market melt up action. It’s long lasting and perpetual.

With my money, I booked gains in AMKR and BRNC and bought size in ATPG and nibbled on THQI. Ultimately, my wins will be extreme and belligerent. However, for now, in order to get comfortably in the black, I am booking small gains. I am moonlighting, if I may be so bold. I am here for the money, then I go.

My position is all but cemented. Long with 90% of my capital, 10% cash. Heavily long EXK, MOS, AGU, ATPG and BORN. Meaningful positions in FORM, KEG and TEVA. Year to date, I am up about 4% with my eye on the prize: fuck Egypt.