iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,619 Blog Posts

Unemployment Rate Plunges to 9%

Indeud.

The jobs report just came out and boy is it exciting. The official unemployment rate plunged 0.4%, down to 9.0%, thanks to the disappearance of 700,000 people. Following last month’s disappearance of 500,000, it’s fair to say the government is doing a fine job at killing people, in order to reduce joblessness. After all, the lower the pool of available workers, the better that fucking rate looks, no?

In other news, Mrs. Fly walked in on me watching Fast Money last night (re-run) and queried: “who are those nerds?” The clever geeks over at Fast Money have a new segment where two people sit on a stool facing one another, having at it on a particular subject. Yesterday, that Brian Kelly (BEAKS!) guy was battling some fucking dork over the sustainability of the solar industry. It was ridiculous, really, especially the part when Brian Kelly stood up to make his case about how solar is so fucking cool, while some idiot music chimes out in the background.

Mrs. Fly is exactly right when calling them “nerds.”

In closing, the market should trade up today, thanks to such a kickass jobs report, regardless of whether 700,000 people were viciously murdered by our government.

POMO

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25 comments

  1. mustard seeds

    CLAMTASTIC!

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  2. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    You know my thoughts on Brian Kelly, the guy is a total idiot. Its #POMO TIME BITCHES! We will rip higher today!

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  3. go2mars

    Amazing. We’ve had a whole bunch disappear here in Canada too. But it’s probably just an increase in UFO abductions. Strangely, our benefit payouts are going through the roof. The aliens must be exchanging them for less productive people. Maybe the same is happenning in the States. cue twighlight zone music

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  4. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Oh and to add to that Canada added more jobs than us. Really a good reason to go higher.

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    • go2mars

      Truly, oil prices have helped quite a bit here in my town. We probably did add more jobs per capita in Canada, but only because metals, agriculture, and oil are through the ceiling. Manufacturing is sucking balls, and there are still a lot of lazy mo-fo’s up here who don’t really want/need a job.

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  5. TheArtist

    I don’t really know of anyone without a job, so here where I live in NC, is rolling along well as far as I see.

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    • JakeGint

      Solipsism is no substitute for economic analysis.

      The people without jobs are the displaced (from larger consolidating companies) who are not incented to find new opportunities thanks to the Barack Shalack Obama Never Ending Wheel O’ Cheese.

      ______

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      • go2mars

        This should be the title of a jr. high school course for every American.

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  6. Freddy Fishsticks
    Freddy Fishsticks

    PWER…nice

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  7. J

    Mrs. Fly is exactly right when calling them “nerds.”

    Dude, think about, we watch those nerds.

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  8. J

    I’m not buying this report. It’s a shit in so many ways and the weather bullshit is just spinning.

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  9. Quint

    This is a politically-perfect-market-friendly number. It allows Obama to say things are going great with the lower unemployment number, and allows Big Ben to keep doing his POMO thing, as all the economists that swallow the bullshit government statistics as real, keep clamoring that POMO is needed until we see strong job growth.

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  10. drummerboy

    700k this time,500k last time,shit, a couple more like that, and we’ll have enough starving people for a riot fit for any large city………………obama has something up his sleeve for that scenario.

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  11. retox

    This is simply confusion regarding a Breitbart story re: “The Worldwide Demise of the Clam”

    http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=CNG.b9196e3cb8adc1839123aa8091abdb30.2d1&show_article=1

    Bearshitters have not figured out that The Clam has a distinct advantange over the lowly oyster – behold “motility”. Fighting Ben is like fighting Chuck Norris on sherm.

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  12. retox

    On a more serious note,

    There is much much more to the CCRM & BORN story (Citron, Muddy, et al.).

    There are two sides to every story as they say…

    http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-01-13/texas-short-seller-fights-china-fraud-in-20-billion-u-s-shares.html?cmpid=yhoo

    Where is the analyst bomber when we need him??

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  13. TraderCaddy

    Just buy SMH (or SOXX) on dips and be out by end of day.

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  14. tw

    The government has outsourced abductions to formerly unknown alien kidnappers clad in green….with big eyes and 3 fingers….. 700 000 humans gone this month to be utilized for probing experiments, only another 300 000 000 or so before they own it all…..

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  15. Tx Slave Trader

    I always thought the same thing about the Fast Money people…the “humor” on that show is about as lame as it gets, but they seem to think they’re sooooooo funny….and I’ve never seen a group of men wear that much makeup unless they were holding hands and walking in a parade or something…

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  16. JakeGint

    Mrs. Fly is exactly right when calling them “nerds.”

    I find it difficult to even imagine the Countessa ever using such a vulgar term.

    _______

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  17. Spy007

    Ok what the fuck is really going on.

    We have like 15%+ on welfare could someone explain how the fuck that can be good.

    My math says USA going broke or will qe12 finally fix all our problems???

    Shit I see a UFO over my head….. Fuckkkkkkkkk

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  18. jack

    omfg that was so funny lmfao

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