iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,471 Blog Posts

Update From NYC

I am not there, so I get to skip over the apocalypse. Hurricane Irene is about to descend upon NYC at 950mb. In other words, this shit is going to fuck up my house, which stands on an island, slightly above sea level.

Last night I packed the bags and headed west to central Pennsylvania, where I am now mingling amongst the Amish, building dressers and shit. I just got off the phone with my retarded sister, who happens to be in a mandatory evacuation zone, who has decided with her boyfriend to “tough it out” with sub pumps and shit.

In the words of the great Shepherd (sp?) Smith, “you better know how to swim for a long, long time.”

I will be domiciled in central PA indefinitely, because I am not interested in being inconvenienced by power outtages or floods. Although my house is not in a flood zone, I fully expect it to be swept away by random and insidious tornadoes. I told my wife and kids, “the house is as good as gone. Let’s go live amongst the Amish.”

Fuck this shit. I can buy 10 more houses tomorrow and 100 new ones in this greatly depressed area of central PA.

If you are braving the storm in NYC, you’re a fucking ape and deserve to swim.

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91 comments

  1. The Fly

    NYC will look like a nuclear holocost zone by Monday

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    • Yogi & Boo Boo

      Indeud, it will not be pretty. I’m guessing a couple weeks of mess. More if the electrical, subways and some tunnels are inundated. Toughing it out in CT. High on a protected hill. Well prepared, but not looking forward to a direct hit by a deranged gigantic hurricane.

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    • Spooky

      I’m toughing it out on the 9th floor, one block from West Street. Where to go? My other house is 500 feet from the bay in eastern long island. I’d rather be 150 feet up than 6 ft from sea level. That’s the house I’m worried about. Lots of trees that can fall on the property and one or two on the house.

      Enjoy Amishland!

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      • xxxHuggieBearxxx

        spooky, you aren’t by chance living at 50 murray are you?

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        • Spooky

          No, I’m not. A bit north of that in the West Village.

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          • xxxHuggieBearxxx

            cool, i used to live on the 9th floor “a block from west street”, would have made for an amazing coincidence if it had been the same building.

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          • Spooky

            That’s funny. It’s a great view from where I am, but no flooding of the piers or the park where I am.

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  2. MX2101

    If water overtops the seawall and flows into Manhattan, that is going to be a mess. Wind is one thing, but the ocean is a whole new level.

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  3. Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion Song for Bernanke
    Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion Song for Bernanke

    Hope your house and your sister survive, Fly. One can’t do much about the weather. But being unpredictable as it is, it’s possible you could end up without any major damage.

    My family lived in New Orleans at the time of Katrina– well, they did evacuate. Some lost everything, but others had no damage to speak of, just depending on what particular area their homes were in.

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  4. Anton

    Hope your house and neighborhood isn’t “nature-Mozzilloed.”

    I’m in Massachusetts, next in line for this thing. I’m in the midst of buying a house here, though we haven’t closed yet.

    Wonder if we will.

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  5. Testicules

    Well…hopefully YOU don’t lose the house or keepsakes

    Fly in Amish Country….why am I getting a “picture” of your horse and buggy as a chariot with spiked wheels, 6 horse power ,throwing fire balls at black and white objects while laughing hysterically?….(must be the JB)

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  6. DRAXWIN

    HAHHAAHAHAHA

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    • DRAXWIN

      “If you are braving the storm in NYC, you’re a fucking ape and deserve to swim.” fucking almost fell down the stairs laughing

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  7. The Fly

    How did you know I had a chariot with spiked wheels?

    Fuck my house. I am sick of it

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    • SUBCOMANDANTE CHINCHINILLA!!!!!
      SUBCOMANDANTE CHINCHINILLA!!!!!

      How about an address?

      Me and my mighty chinch cell can at least liberate the bathroom vanity; for a price, we can also install it in your new world headquarters.

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    • Josh

      Between the neighbours and the bathroom I don’t blame you!

      I just worry that when bad shit happen to you Fly, you seem to come out of it WAY on top.. if your whole house goes you’ll end up 300%+ this year for sure.. and I’m not sure I can handle the reflected light from your whiter than god robes. 🙂

      Take care and good luck.

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  8. ecchymosis

    Good people, the Amish.

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  9. Vegastrader

    Don’t believe the hype! The Caribbean folks are laughing at a category 1…. Barely a 1. We used to go surfing at Category 3 during the eye passing… What a non event, but NYC will be clean as ever after all the shit flows out into the ocean.

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    • DRAXWIN

      dude, category strength doesn’t matter much with this storm, just like “Ike” I went thru in Houston 08. It is the storm surge. expected to be 5-8 feet, easily topping the wall. water will pour in like a fucking sieve. Plus the highly saturated soil from record rain fail , 20+ hours of tropical force winds…. can you say katrina?

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    • DRAXWIN

      plus bahamas get hit like 3 times a year nyc like once every 50 maybe, this one will make history

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  10. The Fly

    NYC has a high tide, new moon, plus 950 mb hurricane to deal with at a time the water table is drenched from record rainfall

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  11. logicalthought

    Fly,

    You picked the wrong time to own a house on Staten Island. Back before Giuliani, the mob never would have let this hurricane shit happen there.

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  12. SteveTheNeighbor
    SteveTheNeighbor

    Don’t worry about your house Neighbor Fly. I am up on our roof and Steve, Jr. strapped me to the chimney like Captain Ahab attached to his ship, the Pequod. The storm hasn’t really started yet but there are crowds surrounding your house led by your other neighbor Old Man DeLuca. They are chanting about burning your house down like Al Sharpton in Crown Heights. But, I have them in my sights and already stopped Old Man DeLuca from throwing his bocci balls threw your front window. He wants to loot your house and take your blue radio and new solar lights.I won’t let him and I will give you an update.
    P.S. You are missing a great Hurricane Party. Mrs. Steve and your illegal gardeners are having fun playing some kind of a tequila drinking game right now.

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  13. Vegastrader

    3 BIG HYPED NON EVENTS DC EARTH QUAKE, JACKSON HOLE,IRENE. Just more episodes of scare tactics by the government to deflect your small minds from the real issues at hands. Market will still crash to new year lows after we hit 1270.

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    • drummerboy

      supposed to be a bank holiday of some sorts in london,so everyone evacuate new york now.and hurry up,so we can have an excuse for wall street to not open monday……..

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    • Vegastrader

      If you spend money on the unnecessary evacuation please send the bill to Mayor Bloomberg or CNN and Fox News. Enough said.

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  14. The Plumbers Crack
    The Plumbers Crack

    some funny shit here.
    Wishing all you low dwellers the best after the surge and tide recede.

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  15. razorsedge

    be safe,

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  16. Anton

    Predict “thou be a fucktard” will enter the permanent Amish vocabulary by vespers tomorrow.

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  17. razorsedge

    after wilma, the storm passed erasing all r thoughts of destruction,it was sunny and the birds were singing. but then the water started rising, at first it was slow then the devestation became quite clear.eneything was 4/8 ft under water.

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  18. Testicules

    WELL….Zeroboy posted Libyan refiners were all shut-down…follow the oil slicked road

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  19. redman59

    Awesome nice to the Fly is about an hour north of me. Sometimes I wish I could be Amish not caring what this f’ed government is doing and oblivious to it all, screw the banks, technology, and economy. I just have to care about the health of my family, crops, and animals.

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  20. Quint

    Once again the media is scaring people about nothing…some rain and a little wind, that’s all.

    Irene will only be a tropical storm by the time it hits NYC. The politicians need to talk it up so they can tap some of the free gov’t money for their friends to rebuild…wink, wink.

    I’ve been in Cat 5 hurricanes before(Gilbert) and met plenty of Irene’s that blow harder than this one!

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    • razorsedge

      never let a catastrophe go to waist, its sad but thats what politicians do.

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  21. Captain Ahab

    C’mon over to Michigan. The BEST STATE EVER.

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    • Tom

      I’ve lived in Michigan for the last for years. So as an outsider I agree, it’s a pretty good state. Great fly fishing. Rated #1 state for fishing by Field and Stream.

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  22. The Fly

    Michigan is a piece of shit

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    • Tom

      Detroit is just consolidating right now.

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    • SkyTrader

      Minus the religious wackos, western MI is very nice.

      Minus the religious wackos.

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      • drummerboy

        south western michigan is where smart money goes

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      • heaterman

        Brainless twit. Can’t you see that West Michigan is nice because of the values and moral fiber of those same religious wackos. The Southeast section of the mitten is nearly devoid of the salt of the earth type people you deride and the resulting carnage should be obvious in comparison.

        Thou dost bite the very hand that feeds thee.

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        • Cato

          silence

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        • drummerboy

          2 hours from chicago.the most peaceful sleep,ever. the best hunting.drinking and no one to tell you that you cant roast a pig in the back yard. even though the back yard is as long as a city block.

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        • SkyTrader

          What?!

          The wackos are NOT what makes western MI nice. And southeast MI is NOT shitty because of a lack of wackos. Do you really believe that?!

          Southeast MI has some nice areas too. Amazing, I know.

          It doesn’t take religious nuts to make good communities, or nice landscapes.

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        • SkyTrader

          PS. Thou is an idiot.

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  23. juice

    they were handing out evac notices here too, not mandatory where I am .. will sleep here & check the water near high tide in the am & then decide to stay or go .. storm downgraded to pussy status 50-60mph winds

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    • ottnott

      So you can still play your Sunday am tennis doubles, but the beach volleyball will have to wait until next week.

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      • juice

        haven’t played tennis in years .. funny, was supposed to play with my cousins, at their court this weekend .. hadn’t seen them either for years

        never played too much beach volleyball

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  24. J Livermore

    Fly, for future reference, it’s a sump pump, not sub pump.

    This hurricane drama is fucking homo !!!

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    • kelkun

      That’s correct, but sump pump sounds gay. No offense to gay guys of course.

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      • heaterman

        Sub could be construed as submersible which would technically pass muster.

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        • kelkun

          This comment gets a thumbs up just for the use of the word “muster”

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  25. xxxHuggieBearxxx

    i can unfortunately report that the much and dirt have not yet been washed off of the philadelphia region.

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  26. alf44

    … bottom line …

    Glad you’re safe in an “undisclosed Amish location” !!!

    Now … Back To Reality … the World still sucks … last time I checked !!!

    Short’em boys !!!

    .

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    • alf44

      … further …

      I sincerely hope EVERYONE in the path of Irene … is safe tonight !

      .

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      • alf44

        God Bless !!!

        .

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        • SkyTrader

          Praise the lord!

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          • alf44

            … when a poster gets a thumbs down for posting

            “Praise The Lord” … you gotta laugh !

            May a 200 year old Sycamore tree fall on you and crush your stupid ass !

            Unbelievable !!!

            .

            .

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          • SkyTrader

            How very christian of you.

            Fucking hypocrites — you make me sick.

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  27. shipwrecked&alone
    shipwrecked&alone

    Just as long as it doesn’t wash away Art Cashin I’m OK with it.

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    • alf44

      yeah … that would be a tragic loss …

      Whatta doddering ole fool Art has become !!!

      Truly clueless !!!

      .

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  28. mike

    has this Hurricane been blamed on Al-Queda yet?

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    • mike

      if so, Iraq will be invaded for no reason by Monday

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    • heaterman

      No but I’m sure some vacuous pontificator will blame global climate change brought about by the policies of George Bush.

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  29. Yabollox

    Your house is bound to break into a million little pieces. It could be the end to all the problems you’ve had there.

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  30. Anton

    Fly decamps to the ONE part of the country where everybody’s mustache has already been punched off…

    Strange, no?

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  31. Blind Read Ant

    Calls on CAT post-storm. PRU puts to “pay up.” Gr8 IBC Update M. Fly!

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  32. razorsedge

    fuctards, pinch one off. u have no clue, michigan a pice of shit.. u have no idea how they

    leave the storm? chicken shit, ur colors r showin,,u hidden under tradin nymphs wings..ill show u the dark side, pussy. look dont ban me cause monday i got the list for u to defend…wait til then////

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  33. razorsedge

    michigan rules

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  34. admin

    Indeud.

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  35. Dishwasher

    The area in Pennsylvania between Pittsburgh and Philadelphia is an interesting place. Yes the Amish run wild building nice handmade furniture and barns/sheds.

    Beware of the young Amish kids though. Many rebellious Amish youths are out drinking like crazy trying to pick up Harrisburg chicks, driving their horse and carriages drunkenly into ditches killing themselves and wildlife. The mainstream media covers it up, zerohedge should do a post on this…

    There are also miles and miles of stench from chicken and cow farms that plague drivers of the turnpike. Make sure you keep your car windows closed while driving through.

    Central PA is safe from hurricanes though. Godspeed in your journey.

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  36. The Fly

    Central PA weather is a bit fucked now. Heavy winds and rain; but I will survive.

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  37. lonewolf

    Down in Manhattan the hurricane financial storm I-ream is whipping the bear pennants above the Goldman Fortress. The Fly bravely takes his trade/surf board out into the teeth of the storm to ride last chance big wave. Will he paddle back out for another ride? Or in his ride will he experience the true travesty of the storm while barely balancing himself on the turbulent waters on the board and sense that inner panic of fear/death? Stay tuned to IBC channel for dramatic conclusion!

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  38. Blitzed

    OK, Fly. Don’t shoot the messenger (ban me) for this. But if you are really in Pennsylvania Dutch country, you must try the Shoo Fly Pie. It is awesome.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoofly_pie

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  39. Xmas Ninja

    Patrolling lower Manhattan on high alert for ne’er-do-wells purloining shit. Numchuckahs will do the talking. Good prep for Xmas season. Ornament purloining ready to Xplode if no QE3.

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  40. Bruce

    <param value="&skin=MP1ExternalAll-MFL.swf&embed=true&adSizeArray=300×240&adSrc=http%3A%2F%2Fad%2Edoubleclick%2Enet%2Fadx%2Ftsg%2Ewnyw%2Fnews%2Fdetail%3Bdcmt%3Dtext%2Fxml%3Bpos%3D%3Btile%3D2%3Bfname%3Dfox%2Dreporter%2Dgives%2Dupdate%2Dcovered%2Din%2Dsea%2Dfoam%2D20110827%3Bloc%3Dembed%3Bsz%3D320x240%3Bord%3D991960200481116800%3Frand%3D0%2E6175249901844131&flv=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Emyfoxny%2Ecom%2Ffeeds%2FoutboundFeed%3FobfType%3DVIDEO%5FPLAYER%5FSMIL%5FFEED%26componentId%3D135737006&img=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia2%2Emyfoxny%2Ecom%2F%2Fphoto%2F2011%2F08%2F27%2F20110827stormf

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  41. Rihanna

    Here in UES of Manhattan we took Irene’s best shot without batting an eye. No power loss. Only tragedy is that Starbucks is closed so denizens are reduced to trying to brew their own coffee without a clue how to do it.

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  42. ruggyup

    COOL! Downtown Josh Brown reports, “The White House is without power but, that has nothing to do with the weather.” Kudos to JB.

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  43. London

    When the sun comes out monday, it will be time to buy XIV.

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  44. Dave

    My mother in law’s family, sold the land that now makes up Willow Valley Resort. That’s a nice area with good down to earth people. I was there just a few days ago, but had to get back here to New England before the storm.

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