iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,458 Blog Posts

Beware of Witchcraft and Black Magic

The futures are lying to you, indicating a lower open. I have information from the highest sources that necromancers are conducting dark magic scorcery in order to trick people into believing the market is going to trade lower. It is equal to believing in mirages of clean fresh water in the middle of the Sahara, when in fact you are drinking sand and eating scorpions.

I also have it on authority that the entire CDS market is one elaborate hoax, in an effort to deceive people into giving up their companies or countries for pennies on the dollar. It’s the oldest trick in the book, almost as old as the subway chain snatch.

Thus far, my stay in Amish country is as expected. I’ve managed to escape three ambushes and 15 separate and unrelated assaults. There are buggies strewn all over the dirt roads here, including deader than dead horses and goats.

I intend to make coin in the market tomorrow. My year to date gains are in the ballpark of 15-16%. I need to get long refiners before earnings. I am not amused by their lack of pullback and consider my plight equal to running out of oxygen in a space craft near UDFy-38135539. Believe you me, NOT FUN.

Until tomorrow, be well and, as always, try to avoid those murderholes.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

27 comments

  1. Woodshedder

    Subway chain snatch? Do tell….

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. starving artist

    ” as old as the subway chain snatch”

    nice.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. Johnny2time

    It’s great to see the return of the silver bull, will take off half after the debt ceiling is raised.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. Jake

    first

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. Jake

    um, or maybe not

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. Stosh

    VLO and TSO are well off highs… wnr will not let me back in

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  7. The_Real_Hmmm

    Sounds like someone saw Harry Potter. Your patronus is the PPT, to shield you from the dementraders (demented traders).

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • The Fly

      Going to see it tomorrow.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • Trading Nymph

        Did anyone see it this Weekend??? Was it good?

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
        • TraderCaddy

          No.
          But then again I haven’t seen or read any of the Harry Potter stuff.
          I watch the first few minutes of a Harry Potter on cable ( I really try) and just go blank.
          But it is all good.
          Just keep coming down to Orlando and Harry Potter World at Universal (or whatever it is called) and spend spend spend.
          We taxpayers of Central Florida thank you very much.

          • 0
          • 0
          • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
          • mrkcbill

            Buy the $SMH on any hard gap down!

            • 0
            • 0
            • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
          • TraderCaddy

            Watching main components in pre-market (TXN,AMAT,INTC) for a possible long on gap down and then see what happens from there.
            INTC reports in a few days.

            • 0
            • 0
            • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
          • TraderCaddy

            In SMH @ 32.35 and out @ 32.56.
            Now what do I do for the rest of the day?

            • 0
            • 0
            • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  8. Thomas

    Click on thumbs up if you googled “UDFy-38135539”.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  9. Qman

    Anyone catch Breaking Bad. What a bad ass show.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  10. mhass33

    you fuckin nailed WNR

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  11. Marc David

    Me and RC hanging at the Back the Bus!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  12. shipwrecked&alone
    shipwrecked&alone

    i’ve been in this game along time. I am fascinated by how interest rates will play out the next 10 years in the U.S. and how those dynamics will change the playing field forever. There are about 10 swirling currents all pushing in opposite directions. I am on the sidelines because I can. I am old enough to remember that few people owned stocks back in the day. Now, everybody owns them and experts are 20 years old. The entire top 10% of all corporate employees allow their entrie lives to be controlled by the hopes of their cos stock doubling. They all have done the math on their restricted options. I know what, but i just don’t know WHEN… but I am determined it will not involve me and what I have worked a life time to obtain. You can be right 20 straight times and wrong once and get blown up for life. “Life’s exactitude is obvious, but its inexactitude in hidden…..it’s wildness lies in wait”

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • JakeGint

      Holy crap, an erudite comment plus a GK Chesterton quote?

      Get this man a tabbed blog, tout suite!

      ________

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  13. JakeGint

    The only futures that count are those that leverage bullion for speculators… oh, and Greetings from Mosquitopia!

    ________

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  14. Bind Dead Aphid

    I remain unsatisfied Fly restrains from his Earnings Magic Oracle (“EMO”).

    But okay, stay away from sub.’s, but I intend on using the ACELA sooner than later THANK YOU.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  15. deanfv

    Debt ceiling will be raised… “cuts” will be announced (see DC definition of cuts). Rating agencies will…. who the fuck cares?

    Stock market will rocket higher.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  16. Trading Nymph

    Well its late Sunday Night and my Little US Dollar is up over 75.50 again…heading to that “3rd Time may be the charm” 76.00 resistance level. Brent is bashing against 120.00 resistance and Gold just hit 1600. This really is a key moment if resistances will hold??? You know I want a nice down day tomorrow.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  17. The Plumber's Crack
    The Plumber's Crack

    The Amish have taught you kindness?
    “Until tomorrow, be well and, as always, try to avoid those murderholes.”
    Thank you from all of us small plebs!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  18. FIG

    Holy Sheisa, GSVC is a fucking beast! To the moon! Thanks Fly.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  19. ronpaul

    ur an idiot

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"