iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,429 Blog Posts

New Readers Beware

As you readily know, iBankCoin is the premier destination for financial commentary. Our year over year traffic growth is in the high double digits and our swagger cannot be matched by any, including the infamous HOWARD LINDZON. At any rate, as you, the fucktarded reader from Dumbfuckville, embark on the journey of learning the culture and habits of iBC, you should know the following rules.

1. I do not accept financial advice from anyone, especially you.
2. Never side with my neighbors, in any regard, when I mention them on my blog.
3. I will ban you for looking at the screen sideways, let alone talking shit to me.
4. To date, I’ve banned more than 600 people, tossing them wildly into what I like to call “the fag box.” Please see GREG SOLOMON for details.
5. I am not interested in building site traffic, only to commit heinous acts of winship upon my many enemies.

Most finance bloggers out there have a desire to teach or procure readership and/or subscribers for their services. Well, I get all of that shit without trying, specifically because of my mystical presence and/or insanely strong pimp hand. You don’t need to concern yourself with the latter.

In short, you fuckers need to comport yourselves in a certain way, including adherence to the strictest internet dress code in existence. Failure to follow these rules will lead to rapid and immediate tracking of your IP and subsequent assault upon your persons cherished and retarded mustache.

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31 comments

  1. Hugh Hendry

    FIG!

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  2. gmoney

    HIG!

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  3. TMoe

    Just got finished reviewing the iBC dictionary. Should be required study for all. My favorite is the cock n balls formation.
    Fucking hilarious!!

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  4. razorsedge

    u should read suck my dick forum, not tryin to be so crass, however,,,u suck dick and i dont,,peroid,,,

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  5. iceman

    I still think Greg Solomon is a dork, of sorts, no matter how he attempts to comport himself.
    w.r.t. 2 #3 I can vouch for that. Watch where you focus your peripheral vision (not possible, of course)
    w.r.t. my miniscule position in WNR; it’s already forfeit, so f’ it, I will hold thru earnings.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHxIssSROjk&feature=related
    I am responsible for my decisions. Period.

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  6. JakeGint

    And I better not catch any of you fuckers link whoring, either!

    Sonsabitches.

    _____________

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  7. The Zombie

    Sorry, I’m late.

    The Fly is God.

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    • razorsedge

      fly is not god, just plays one in a movie,,,

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    • TeahouseOnTheTracks
      TeahouseOnTheTracks

      Speaking of late. Either I’m late in noticing the change, it’s new or nobody’s mentioned it yet but a hat tip to Jeremy the IT guy for the “View Counter” (not comment counter) per iBC blog …. a nice touch Dr Fly.

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  8. MarshalN

    I thought SEAL teams will land on your doorsteps with helicopters firing at your house, while you try to defend with guns and use your women as shields.

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  9. Rat Fink

    A moustache (American English: mustache;[1] pronounced /m??st???/ (U.K.), /?m?stæ?/ (U.S.)) is facial hair grown on the outer surface of the upper lip. It may or may not be accompanied by a beard, hair around the entire face.

    So let’s stick to tha Queen’s Enlgish then, shall we? We did after all invent it.

    Thanks in advance

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  10. powerplay

    Rule #6: 47 1/2 age limit.
    I can only read for one more year…

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    • chanci

      Maybe you could get “grandmothered/grandfathered” in, like me. It was a Christmas gift Fly gave some of us elders a few years back.

      P.S. I’m not really that old, but I so have an old soul, so…. LOL

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  11. Trading Nymph

    Yep, Fly already pointed it out…India raised rates over expectations.

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  12. fuckyoufly

    I’ll wear my red thong and flip flops where ever and when ever the fuck I want and no one including you is going to a damn thing about it.

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  13. SteveTheNeighbor
    SteveTheNeighbor

    “2. Never side with my neighbors, in any regard, when I mention them on my blog.”

    Neighbor Fly is, of course, only referring to Neighbor Old Man De Luca. Gotta go and have to schlep over to Hot Dog U. now and the first class of A Scientific Analysis of Proper Bun Steaming. And then off to a checkers match against Hamburger U. By the way, Mrs. Steve and the family enjoyed the Whole Foods Locally Grown Certified Organic Non Toxic Natural Green Wrapped Sesame Noodles and Caramelized Tofu Mrs. Fly brought over. However, Mrs. Fly did say something about the purchase going over a credit card limit. You should try A&P or Wal Mart next time.

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    • ecchymosis

      Will you put your hot dog profits into some WeiNeRs?

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  14. razorsedge

    did not mean to ruffle feathers,,,made mone here.

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  15. stinkystank

    I’ve often wondered how you went about blocking people. I dunno if IP-based blocking is the best idea. Most home-users leverage dynamic addresses handed out to them by their ISPs. It isn’t hard for one of them to reset their modem in an attempt to obtain a new address. You would most likely have to go about blocking entire net-blocks to successfully block someone. By doing this, you also run the risk of blocking someone else that likes to peruse the winship of IBC. Granted, I doubt you care about the latter issue…

    So yeah, knowing is half the battle.

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  16. stinkystank

    bans should be handed out for the FIG gayness… that shit is only a decade old

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  17. stinkystank

    i want my time back after watching this gratuitous homosexuality

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj9_I2Yr3L8

    anyone using the word “comport” in place of “conduct” needs their rectum scrubbed out with a barb-wire brush.

    GAY

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