Perhaps the Mayans and their stupid calendar were right. The world is really about to end, amidst clouds of black smoke and bustling metal. The geographic tinderbox, better known to you as “the middle east,” is literally on fire. Before you know it, Israel says “fuck it” and sends their invisible bombers to Tehran for a picnic. As this happens, Saudi Arabia is knee-deep in civil war, led by Bin Laden’s disciples. Western oil will be controlled, eventually, by hardened terrorists. ROFL.
When this occurs, oil will be so expensive your eyes will bleed from looking at it. You will need to only glance at the price, in order to preserve whatever vision you have left. Your heads, in the literal sense, will be used as punching bags by rogue warlords in your neighborhoods, as America descends into anarchy.
A great man once said “we’re addicted to oil.” Well, if that’s the case, what happens to said addict when they try to get off the toxic substance? The party is over. Prepare to suffer a great deal.
I speak of all this nonsense, as if I was 10x inverse, fucktard related, short the market, vis a vis Direxion weapons of financial disaster. But I am not. “The Fly” is a simple man with modest needs and goals.
For example, just today I wired $350,000 to an independent contractor in Huntsville for development of the world’s first ever “orbital space cannon.” Upon completion, I will be able to target my readers, with laser precision (literally), for instant vaporization. How cool is that?
Based upon the Sun, Moon and the stars, all spoken to me by celestial beings located inside our milky way, the stock market will eventually go to zero. It will not matter what stocks you find yourself in, for all of them will be loaded to the gills with liquid nitroglycerin.
Look, imagine you were a bird. You are walking around the Estate grounds and spot a nice pile of breadcrumbs. Interested, you walk over to said crumbs, chirping along the way (chirp, chirp, chirp). You bend your neck for a taste and a fucking roadside bomb detonates, tearing your physical frame to shreds. Not an ounce of stupid bird left.
Happy trading.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-Yk4gW-dIU 616 500] If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter
LMFAO!! Instant classic!
clasique
hey gtotoy why you copying what i write?
lol
WTF?
AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!!!!
don’t worry, Uncle Barry and Aunt Hillary will fix that shit lickity-split.
wait, you chose Huntsville? dude… srsly?
NASA, bitch
http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&sugexp=ldymls&xhr=t&cp=15&qe=aHVudHN2aWxsZSBuYXNhIHNwYWNlIGFuZCByb2NrZXQgY2VudGVy&qesig=E_jqD_hraJt8hpQVS-s3NQ&pkc=AFgZ2tmpIQzkyykjvN4eagD1qPr2m3Dw-gDlaxsNDHQCHUAO3GVPujxENozGDFqvwv0n4HRCcVUuA74MzzSpMJjmPRKHK6aZCw&pq=huntsville+nasa+space+and+rocket+center&bav=on.2,or.&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=huntsville+nasa+space+and+rocket+center&fb=1&gl=us&hq=nasa+space+and+rocket+center&hnear=Huntsville,+AL&cid=0,0,740468770363277099&ei=vLNtTYn6BIKclgeNpIHeBA&sa=X&oi=local_result&ct=image&resnum=2&sqi=2&ved=0CCEQnwIwAQ
haha, nice…
LOL. Did you pay a 12 year old? That site is for space camp, where you can learn how to rock back and forth encapsulated in a state of the art space shuttle with hope to eventually do it in front of a strip mall KMart for one minute and twenty five seconds….like a real astronaut.
WHAT!!! Shit, I want a refund.
House of Moobs spent a Saturday there. Lovely place, fun for the kids. They serve both hot and cold pork fat sandwiches. You can smoke there too.
sounds like someone’s a little jealous
Three radiation-deformed thumbs up
have another cocktail and come back again.
http://www.endofworld.net/
I liked the ending when California floats over to Hawaii!
Can’t open this in Canada.
Fly.. did you allow a guest post tonight and forget the author byline?
Charlie Sheen
Fly, if any of the unwashed make it through the apocalypse and find our way to your Austrian estate, will you take us on as serfs? You can bang my daughter if we can just have a little land on which to farm.
WTF? Please, I have a daughter and do not like that sort of joking.
so what, i have 3,, and they could give a shit what i say.
Ok you can’t bang my daughter. Deal?
How about I ban both of you for speaking like garbagemen?
a thousand humble apologies
You guys can bang my hamster. They’re quite good, you know.
lol – banging the babies is not cool, but the whole exchange is hilarious. if anyone takes you up on the hampster let me be the first to pity the pencil dick….
wish i had a city job,then i’d be set
Y’all
ALL Y’ALL!
I thought the Mayans said 2012 and I had another year left. Darnit.
The PETA people will probably not appreciate your story about the bird blown to smithereens. _ut since the world is about to end, their anger will be in vain.
just make sure you got someone to watch over your 350k while they sand the floors,and install the kitchen. hey,do granite counter tops come with that…………..must have played chase the rbob today,and got scared of the new gas price you gonna see in the morn.
Granite counter tops are the ugliest and most non-functional surfaces ever invented.
Geniusly hilarious post Fly ..I’ll be laughing into the dow down 200 in the AM. Get in on some TZA and EXK fun.
What….. Betting against Bernake? Blaspheme!
If we are lucky, we can get a 10% down day and a trading halt. Talk about funny. That would put me in stitches.
if i’m in bgz, that would be hilarious
if gas goes over $5 a gallon I’m getting a camel – they run on water
I’m maxing out my credit cards buying gas right now and sticking it barrels, jars, buckets, anything I can find, in my garage. When it hits $5, I’ll start selling it door to door out of my van for $4.75 and be rich!
I have many guns and will take your camels, gas and daughter (BTW that’s a sick post Dirk) ….. of course in a Libyan gentleman’s style…..tip of the hat
maybe I’ll get it after I have kids, or maybe I was teleported here from feudal times. 1272 a.d., Normandy, a field: “Hey Bob, how’s it going?” “Great, except that asshole lord asked for my [of age] daughter again last night” “That jerk, he banged my wife LAST WEEK!”
Is that NOT mel brooks? come-ahnnnnn
You’ll get it after you have kids.
Gasoline cannot be stored like that, idiot.
An LP for “electric car stations” (i.e. charge/battery trades) would… hold it, stop a sec, wait one more, A.N.D KILL for a nice boom in the US. But all these dino-minded, conflicted and self interested oil-addicts (like said Great Man’s edict) kill that shit like its tempting their worse vice they hide from all to see. Partner that up with Tesla, Nissan, et. al. and you got plenty of work and leadership to get us awway from the hellish-tinder-cinder-kindle box aka Middle Eat. More solar and wind farms. It’s lack of will power.
Funny shit Fly.
You are one hell of a writer. Chirp chirp chirp…..
Where do you come up with this shit?
Great Post – hilarious.
this thread made me feel warm inside…
Congrats on moving out of NYC.
I love NY, but sold & moved to Singapore in ’05.
When this thing comes crashing down, that place will go Mad Max
If we’re lucky, Bush’s black ops detonation gurus will finish the rest of NYC in free fall mode, as well.
For example, just today I wired $350,000 to an independent contractor in Huntsville for development of the world’s first ever “orbital space cannon.”
$350K for an orbital space cannon sounds like a good deal. Proof positive that “The Ben Bernake” is right and there is no inflation.
Just a down payment.
http://www.manta.com/mb_53_G0_08C/aerospace/huntsville_al
So who are we looking at?
The Mayans worshipped Time as a deity for some 800 years. Our culture is one of misfits. We are a bunch of money-addicted peons with no fucking direction except ultimate suicide.
So much for our stupid culture as well. Nothing to proud of here, unless you have been brainwashed into self-importance of some kind.
yeah, we only figured out how to communicate on a scale never before experienced in human history. WINNING!
Yeah, about 5,000 years after telepathy had been mastered as a survical mechanism by the nomadic shamans of Siberia. Or about 1,000 years after the Witoto tribe of the Amazon had been using Ayahuasca “group mind” telepathy.
Parlour tricks!
Hope you enjoyed the tribute by Dean Martin.
we gotta party sometime, man
Clearly you’ve never heard of or seen “Baywatch”. Nothing to be proud of. Pshaww.
Oh Wash, you hate yourself. That’s no fun.
YTD 2010 Imports. Thousand Barrels per day
CANADA …… 2,516
MEXICO …… 1,272
SAUDI ARABIA …… 1,094
VENEZUELA …… 993
the US gets most oil from Canada and Mexico. the whole oil thing is propaganda created by the US gov/jew controlled media to justify having a whole army on the other side of the world to protect Israel
by justify I mean brainwash
and if brainwashing a population is how lasting empires are built then this must be a bull market
sarcasm off
You’re going to trigger a backlash from the brainwashed peons if you’re not careful. Then they might try to get you to “conform” to right-way thinking by mocking you. So sad, too bad.
Sometimes a person needs to get their brain washed.
You are mission three zeroes bud.
http://www.indexmundi.com/canada/oil_exports.html
1,094,000 barrels per day of oil from Saudi is NOT insignificant in this day and age.
“1/20th” of current US usage still adds up. But more importantly, the Saudi’s are pumping (I believe it is 12 million barrels per day). So other countries are going to want their 11 million barrels per day if Saudi Arabia explodes. As crude is a global (easy to transport) commodity, the price everywhere would explode upwards (to at least $500/bbl) if Saudi production stopped.
Oil is a fungible commodity. Most world production is from Mid-east. Focusing on US numbers alone is parochial.
The reality is that we are prepared to go to war in Libya. Adm. McMullen and Sec Gates stated as such this afternoon. They have started the ball rolling, ships with troops are standing by. It will start out with us saving the refugees, gaining a toe hold so to speak, then evolve into a “peace keeping” mission. We cannot wait for a coalition or the UN this time, because if it happens, it will happen very quickly.
If we go to Libya we better really take their oil this time.
Fly,, Your just trying to cheer me up. So much of this is all this QEing of the world, we have created such a ugly bubble of the commodities causing global unrest…nobody has listened or cared during this entire time…stupid bubble. But, the bulls will probably be still able to run up AAPL, so lame, so fustrating.
I think Fly is actually saying he has put down that money on a house somewhere.
It’s 5% down on a modern “Biltmore” castle.
This post makes me happy. I thought shit was much worse.
Thanks for the shot in the arm.
-DT
FYI. An interesting concept has just been listed for trading.
My broker, Interactive, listed it on their site for no commission trading (they have a financial interest).
It involves spread trading etfs and is a 2X leverage on the spread.
FactorShares 2X: Oil Bull/S&P500 Bear
FactorShares 2X: Gold Bull/S&P500 Bear
FactorShares 2X: TBond Bull/S&P500 Bear
FactorShares 2X: S&P500 Bull/TBond Bear
FactorShares 2X: S&P500 Bull/USD Bear
A couple of them had some impressive gains the last few days although volume is still light as it was recently listed.
http://www.factorshares.com/