iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,492 Blog Posts

A COCKtail For Success

Indeud. The markets are ripping tits this morning, in what can only be described as “fantastic shit.” We had some durable goods numbers that were worse than expected and then some fudge fund manager, David Tepper, came on the teevee and said “The Fed will not let the market go down.”

VOILA, PRESTO! S&P moves up 14 handles.

You have to love this sort of action, as it defies logic, not so much different  than the ancient ruins of Puma Punku. Now, if I was a betting man, I’d opt not to bet today. Instead, I’d smoke cigars and whistle at the pretty women passing by.  The NAZCRACK, shout out to Krull, is spinning higher, with shit like NFLX hitting new all time highs.

I piss on this market. I vomit on its face.

Folks, this is what happens when shorts eat pavement. They capitulate and markets rip.

Personally, you could not make me buy stocks, even by gunpoint. Granted, I would like to have more long exposure today, considering the melt up to be. However, I can’t buy into a +100 open.

“The Fly” will be watching movies and shit today, while checking in on his losing bets via his spectacular iPhone.

NOTE: A few interesting plays worth exploring: MCP, REE—both “rare earth” companies (whatever the fuck that means).

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

55 comments

  1. Bullish

    I told you guys not to bet against me!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Gunners

      imposter

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • Bullish

        That is an imposter….

        Fly, please ban the fake Bullish

        By the way, I don’t say things like: ” TZA is gonna suck cock”

        I am a hubris gentleman… thank you

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
        • TheV.King

          Fly i say ban both of them and see how they handle it…The one who shoots and kills the other will be the fake bullish…i’ve seen this done in an old superfriends cartoon…

          • 0
          • 0
          • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. bloomberg

    i want my T-shirt….. crying and screaming because of this @%^#@$# Open

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. AZ

    FIG

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. Diver Dan

    Durable Orders Aug actual(-1.3%) consensus (-1.4%)
    This is not worse than expected.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. Chart Killer

    market isn’t up b/c if the guy on tv, or the durable goods #, market is up b/c people are running over each other to buy stocks at any sort of a discount. there is still lots of money to be made on the upside, imo

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. Zippie

    The Markets have been NATIONALIZED.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Meaty Thick Superpenis
      Meaty Thick Superpenis

      What “market”? This is like playing the state-run Lottery.

      Historically, banker-governments will resort to routine market manipulation prior to a market crash. This is the tell. Otherwise, they have no reason to be so involved. They are just trying to time the crash to synch with legislation that gives them the guaranteed winning ticket to the next rigged casino (carbon credit trading mixed with new fiat currencies).

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  7. Homo Bob

    Tepper was pretty tight, dude should be a motivational speaker.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  8. Zippie

    BTW Durable Goods Orders were expected @ -1% not -1.4%. So DGO DISAPPOINTED pathetic expectations

    Also…… Japan Yen intervention rumors failed to prevent N225 decline.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  9. Russian Saylor

    I told you so…. but than again….
    learning form mistakes is not for everyone…

    OK… back to skinning some fat bears…

    PS.AEM is going to 79.30…. you will have to cover well before..
    I will be selling 1/2 for some good coin today

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  10. TraderCaddy

    “…both “rare earth” companies (whatever the fuck that means).”
    Rare Earth was a band in the early ’70s.
    I recall having their 8 track in my Ford Maverick (with the palaid seats).
    Groovy

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agWpGKg0u3g

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  11. Frank White

    When do I get to go on tv and talk my book. Makes the game a bit easier desnt it.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  12. TheV.King

    Fly,

    Stop using logic…The powers that be need an up market for their puppet to stay in power. You can bank coin on that!

    Coming soon….Before the Bell!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  13. drummerboy

    who cares,let it rip,i’ll just rub more vxx on my balls, while my longs stay green.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  14. JakeGint

    ETN Tipping ritz.

    _____

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  15. OBAMA

    I will not let the markets go down until after the elections. Bernanke and Tiny Tim at their trading desks.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  16. Le Fly

    Russian

    You’re banned

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  17. TraderCaddy

    New home sales @10:00.
    Hopefully it’s a disaster and that could be the sign to buy the dip for a trade.
    Although I am looking at a possible SMH short trade within a few minutes of the open.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • mrkcbill

      TC what is inverse SMH?

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • TraderCaddy

        SSG- 2X inverse-a couple pennies spread.
        I tried a short SMH this AM (INTC,AAMAT,TXN aren’t being taken over by anybody) and it wasn’t available.

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  18. Cascadian

    Markets have failed. The bearded clam knows better, time to get in with the intellectuals and run things sensibly. Slow melt up from here.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  19. Bud Fox

    Life all comes down to a few moments. This is one of them.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  20. Yabollox

    Tepper is a dumb shi-tzu.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  21. Gordon Gekko

    Ever wonder why fund managers can’t beat the S&P 500? ‘Cause they’re sheep, and sheep get slaughtered.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  22. needle dick the bug fucker
    needle dick the bug fucker

    Tepper; everything does well..

    Dont people need to buy shit, have jobs.

    Hurricane matt forming in the gulf

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  23. Chris Cooper

    Fly. Are you short or long? Its hard to swing trade with this action I don’t know how you manage it.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  24. Bullish

    After today’s huge gains and with no major economic news on Monday, the Meltup will continue!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  25. bubo

    Fly, do you have a hard stop @71 for AEM?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  26. TheArtist

    CMI doing well.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  27. Yabollox

    My longs are ripping. Time to add a little vxx I think.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  28. jimmie

    New homes sales zero. Market will rally 100 more handles.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  29. enigma

    Up is down, wrong is right, bad is good. This whole market sucks cock, so does Erin Burnett.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  30. JakeGint

    And in a shocking move, every single for-profit insurerer is bailing from providing Obamacare-era child-only policies thanks to the new rules.

    And if you dont’ think the commies saw this coming and new they could use it as a political baton to talk about the “eeeevul insurance companies,” then you deserve the Gulagistan single-payor Medicaid-standard health care you are about to inherit.

    ______________

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  31. flyaway18

    Where’s the poster who said last night,
    that I must have a small cock?
    Guess what?
    I HAVE NO COCK, LOL..

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  32. nilreM

    fooP! Your bullshit “black smoke” is gone.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  33. JakeGint

    QID purchasers… barbecued, North Carolina deep-pit-style.

    _____________

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  34. flyaway18

    Yes, but that was Chess so I hope he got out.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"