iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,474 Blog Posts

You Are Cordially Invited

To iBankCoin’s annual Champagne Party, hosted by “Le Fly” and his staff of white glove wearing butlers.

Dress code will be enforced, via severe baseball bat beat-downs at the door. Men: You MUST wear a Ted Baker blazer with a fucking pocket square. Additionally, if anyone shows wearing an Ed Hardy t-shirt, there is a better than average chance that your life might end, outside of the Champagne Party.

If your watch is not a conversation starter, then it must be boring. BORING WATCHES will NOT be tolerated. Quit having a boring watch: Quit having a boring life. Moreover, if anyone is caught wearing shoes with rubber soles, you will be shot on site. All Champagne Party participants must wear shoes that cost more than $400.

And, finally, all female “Champagners” must leave their fat friends at home. If you want to feel good about yourselves, go to the fucking gym and get fit. Dragging along some sad fat friend, just so that you can feel better about yourself, is equal to Chinese water torture. As you know, torture is strictly prohibited at all iBC Champagne Parties.

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35 comments

  1. ryan

    Evite declined!

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  2. JakeGint

    Actually a nice dry crisp and cold glass of champ-pahn-yah, isn’t too bad on a hot summer night.

    Has to be dry though, as that sweet shit will kill you, and is for under 20-year old chicks only.

    Ask Jason if he knows the Bologna King of Dallas.

    Another Lawn Guyland Giant Fan stranger in a strange land.

    Lives in Cuban’s nabe.

    __________

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  3. Sri

    Declined…

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  4. Dubz

    The last paragraph is arguably the most profound truth ever published on the internet.

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  5. dave

    Oh! The humanity!

    The champagne party will go something like this.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZl3gGV4H6c

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  6. Kiwin

    You are throwing a champagne party, but the picture for this is a bunch of mugs of beer?

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    • The Fly

      We serve champagne in beer mugs. So sorry, we are not as sophisticated as you Dallas types.

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      • Teahouse On The Tracks
        Teahouse On The Tracks

        Declined … let me know when you are serving bourbon.

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  7. mrkcbill

    Will there be a Costco platter of Meatballs and Mini-Vienna Links?

    Is there anything wrong with owning a blazer from the K&G Fashion Superstore? Just asking.

    I see a skinnier me
    I see a richer me
    I see lines and lines of cocaine
    I see me having sex with Scarlett Johansson
    Because I’m good enough
    Because I’m strong enough
    And Gosh darnit people like me!

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    • JakeGint

      Don’t joke, visualization got that clown a Senate seat.

      ______

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      • Sarah Palin

        Visualing do not always help.

        I can sees Russia froms my house an’ I still am not crowned presidential.

        Tank you for your vote though, Jake.

        We are of the same mind.

        “__________________”

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        • Jakegint

          ROFL- checkout leftwing anonymous douche sticking up for Al Franken.

          I guess if you useful idiots will back Joe Stalin, there’s no bar low enough.

          _

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          • Sarah Palin

            Yes!!! Useable idjots!!! That was going to be my supporterses nicknames, but sumbody done took it!

            Remembers, if anybody disagrees with Jake, he is like Adolph Stalin!!!

            Thank you for your vote again, Jake. Glad you got out of New York “lib-land” and down to real America — Kentucky — where you can feel more smarter.

            I can still counts on your vote, right? We is truly of the same minds!

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          • JakeGint

            Anonymous Douche, I can see the sweatmarks on your Champion 50/50 you are working so hard.

            She must be doing something right to get you all fired up like this. šŸ˜‰

            _____

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          • Sarah Palin

            Thank yous for your supersmart logic arguments Jake! Do NOT let the libs make you feel all stupid and like sumbody who has to live in Kentucky. If they gets too smarty pants lib and chases yous out like the “Dum-o-crat” New York, yous can always run to Alaska.

            I was presidential of the state until I quit for the troops. You prolly could get a job with yor supersmart view points.

            Like you say, everbody whom disagrees with you and me is a useful idjot Stalinhead!

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  8. Hawkins Dupont

    Wow Fly,it usually takes about 6 weeks to lock in a Days Inn conference room…now thats being connected!

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  9. Yogi & Boo Boo

    So sorry Fly. Previous commitment. Thank you.

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  10. Ticker Street

    did dennis kneale get an invitation?

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  11. TraderCaddy

    Didn’t know what a Ted Baker blazer was (seriously) so I looked it up.
    They actually have an outlet store in the tourist area on International Drive in Orlando so Fly can pick himself up one on the cheap while at Disney and tell his friends he bought it at the one in Soho.
    Then, I didn’t know what an Ed Hardy T-shirt (seriously again) was so I looked that up also.
    What the hell was that?
    I imagine it would look good on somebody during bike week @ Daytona but even then probably not because you can’t fool bikers.

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  12. jason

    Le Fly, a most excellent post. Cheers to you. Leave the fatties behind! They can go home and watch some informerical on how to lose weight or just eat chocoate and watch “The Biggest Loser” on NBC.
    The big mugs are a nice change. Makes people wonder.
    Drink some champagne and share with us some great ideas for the stock week ahead…

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  13. j

    Hey Jake:

    What do you think of Boeing as a stock?

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    • JakeGint

      I think there’s not much competition, given Airbust is their only major competitor.

      Therefore…. “core holding.”

      ____

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  14. Danny

    “Quit having a boring watch: Quit having a boring life”

    great adaptation

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  15. Mushroomz

    fucking Pete Sampras will be there

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  16. Richy

    You can’t be serious! Ted Baker, as in “made in England Ted Baker?”

    Honestly, that is attire for chutney ferrets.

    No offence to chutney ferrets of course

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  17. DPeezy

    Damn, every single Italian in the NorthEast has come out to the Inter – AC Milan exhibition match at Foxboro. You can smell the risotto through the TV!

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  18. Juiceyfruit

    Obama’s true birth certificate found.

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  19. TraderCaddy

    Ditto to everything.

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  20. Ecchymosis

    Sorry, I don’t wear pocket squares or shoes.

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  21. WardandJuneCleaver
    WardandJuneCleaver

    Ward has a Timex watch and is one of those new fancy ones where the dial lights up at night.
    He also wears Thom McCann shoes that look like penny loafers.
    Good enough to get into the party?

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  22. Shark

    This blog has finally jumped me.

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  23. TA

    Funny comments

    I have to agree, this post has Fonzie on waterskis written all over it

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  24. Shawn Bradley

    Greetings, my name is Shawn and Iā€™m the administrator and editor at Dir.Datumza.com. We just launched our new directory and want to give good quality blogs the opportunity to get a free of charge do-follow backlink to their web site. I have reviewed your site and found that it is eligible to be included in our web directory. All you need to do is pay a visit to http://dir.datumza.com and submit http://ibankcoin.com/flyblog/2009/07/26/you-are-cordially-invited/ to be listed. No catch and no obligations, just a free do-follow backlink. Cheers and best of luck. Shawn Bradley (http://dir.datumza.com Administrator and Editor). 8)

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