iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,445 Blog Posts

Get Your Lotto Game On

Men with burlap shirts bought a variety of stocks today, mainly to “test the waters” and fish for a market bottom. Unfortunately, those same men will soon become victim to gruesome financial castration, as the deflationary vortex settles in.

Mind you, I’ve been buying “all things Chinese,” as of late. However, I do so, not necessarily to curry favour [sic] with a certain Chinese official, but instead to take advantage of wholesale, and rapid, Chinese fuckery.

Only a grande [sic] country like China can seemingly buck the current trends, with up equities in a down equity world. Having the great displeasure of being cursed with gifts of insane investment skills, “The Fly” is forced to hedge his short bets with longs.

Just to recap: the market tricked lots of people into egregious long positions today. Under the surface, STI, GE and BAC are in grave danger of credit downgrades, which in turn will cause sheer panic on Wall Street.

Life is like a game of scratch off lotto. Every once in awhile, it makes sense to buy a bottle of Snapple Iced-T instead. However, I’ll have you know, this is not one of those times.

NOTE: Ignore all “bitch of a whores” on CNBC.

NOTE II: Internet guru, investment genius, Howard Lindzon has a new book out: “The WallStrip Edge.” If any of you are interested in building a web venture, I strongly suggest buying this book. Despite Howard paying me to write this, the book is a good read.

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81 comments

  1. JED

    Zombie is a pimp

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  2. Woodshedder

    Even Robster?

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  3. 1option

    Light volume and lack of Financials taking part in this weak rally…

    =

    More downside to come…

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  4. DEVILDOG

    Jake, what are you buying for the SPY bounce to 90 – 92? TIA.

    I wanted to know how old you are so that I can understand where the optimism comes from. Obviously, I have mis-read the market and the future and I want to learn more from your group’s perspective. If ‘ya can’t beat ‘em join ‘em. Great call on TBT. Are you buying it here for a breakout? I’ve got a lot to learn.

    Puny, what are you buying and how far do you see SPY going on this RALLY? TIA.

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  5. thesnowjob

    Good hedge going long China. First out of the recovery gate.

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  6. The Fly

    Off to RED ROBSTER.

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  7. JakeGint

    From previous threads:

    ____________

    Allright, who tasered the DevilDog and stole his id?

    From last thread:

    Jake, what are you buying for the SPY bounce to 90 – 92? TIA.

    I wanted to know how old you are so that I can understand where the optimism comes from. Obviously, I have mis-read the market and the future and I want to learn more from your group’s perspective. If ‘ya can’t beat ‘em join ‘em. Great call on TBT. Are you buying it here for a breakout? I’ve got a lot to learn.

    Even though I’m pretty sure this is not really DD, I will answer.

    I’m buying TBT for the decade. WRITE THAT DOWN.

    (And if you don’t believe me, check out my pick in Rage’s Contest.)

    ___________

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  8. Mr. Limm

    Dat’s LED ROBSTAH!

    ________

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  9. JakeGint

    DDawg– no optimism, I just don’t think things go straight down forever, that’s all.

    _________

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  10. ring master

    Nice post Devil dog. Most truly successful people are humble and understated. Keep it up. You’ll get there yet.

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  11. Itchy & Scratchy

    It doesn’t sound like DevilDog.

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  12. punyandy

    I own UYG (from $2.95), RIMM (avg around $51), SYK (Feb 40 calls), KHD (from $10.60), TBT (from $41), and ACN (avg at $29). Thanks for checking. Feel free to let us know what you own.

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  13. Anton Cigur

    Beautifully put, tho I still don’t get the long China stuff.

    Fuckery, for sure, but even the ChiComs with their wacky Etch-A-Sketch ideogram writing and woks can’t cook the books forever. Their growth is not 6%-8%, but 0%.

    Are you betting that they “recover first” or something? That just doesn’t sound like you.

    But you’re the one with the time machine, so you must know something.

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  14. JakeGint

    Ring — if that’s Devil Dog, I’ll kiss your ring.

    _________

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  15. arnoldsimage

    i agree with your shorts, but chairman mao will embark on a long, neurotically induced masturbation session to relieve his pain.

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  16. ManuelStop

    No way that’s DD.

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  17. DEVILDOG

    Jake, how old are you?

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  18. ring master

    Jake:
    No need I am trying to locate my Bro-in-law, a former recon marine served in I corp ’66-’69 (Khe Sanh; Hue). Sadly, he stops taking his medicine & becomes unruly (read CRAZY). He’ll spend thousands on strange stuff and like to call between 2 & 3 AM. He says mean things and I prepare to defend myself.
    Anyway I thought he might be one and the same with Devil Dog.
    BTW his name is Al. If you see him tell him we miss him

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  19. DEVILDOG

    Jake, I’ve always wanted to be handled by a man. Are you up to it?

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  20. JakeGint

    DD — I’m almost a decade under the maximum for this site*. Six or seven years older than the proprietor.

    *(Which you are over, btw).

    _________

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  21. blow up

    DevilDog was busy taking a shit today. That wasn’t him. It was gay as hell. No!

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  22. JakeGint

    Ring,

    If you are not screwing around, that’s a sad story, I’m sorry.

    But DD told us he was in country in ’72, and he’s usually lucid, if angry.

    ____________

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  23. JakeGint

    Boy, is there anything more hilarious than when someone steals someone else’s moniker and says funny things?

    I mean, can we just call a humor “acme” on this practice?

    And — oh! — the homosexual angle!

    So funny!

    Really, this guy should be in Vegas, not here.

    _________

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  24. ring master

    Jake: 100% accurate. But, I am amazed at some of the exchanges on IBC.
    Moreover, I doubt if DD is Al. That part was just for fun.
    Al is Crazy, but smart

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  25. El Tiberon

    Yeah, no way that was DD unless he’s turned gay and takes fudge packing from j…and I agree it was very funny…

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  26. CNBC

    Continue to piss and moan. The truth hurts. We have control.

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  27. CNBC

    Short squeeze on deck.

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  28. What is going on here. I see dead bulltards everywhere. New lows next week. Some fucker stole my name. I am the one and only, DEVILDOG.

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  29. Big Mike

    Who seriously think we are going to have a corporate tax cut?

    Please…

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  30. omfgitsjd

    Devil Dog’s sudden change in position seems a bit odd. Jake seems like a nice guy tho so go figure.

    When are all these fed cuts going to kick in?

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  31. TraderCaddy

    At first I thought I was listening to Fly yell at his Trader Servant for messing up a trade but then I realized it was actor Christian Bale who sounds like a real sweet guy to work with on the set.

    http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/02/bale-went-ballistic

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  32. pn

    Actually, the dog was trying to be sarcastic. But being a retard, his sarcasm came across as sincere and a gay in a serial killer kind of way.

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  33. Atlas Vicious

    Agree with the attempted sarcasm possibility. Mega awkward.

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  34. Danny

    are you guys serial? of course that wasn’t DD.

    jake – I don’t know if you got my email reply, but I agree re the $ and my newsletter. speaking of, dollar ratio looks like its going to take out the wedge which will put the sp at 600 if its a measured move. That + losers index is why I added short eod.

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  35. Obviously DEVIL here is an imposter as the real Devil is much stupider..erer…er…

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  36. Squat Thruster

    If he asks whether you “work out” or what your routine consists of, you might want to back away.

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  37. punyandy

    pn wins. funny post.

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  38. 308

    Tradercaddy, just don’t miss the freakin electro remix of Mr. Bale’s new audio smash..

    http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=18511

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  39. glistening abs

    It’s not funny

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  40. the prof

    “Despite Howard paying me to write this, the book is a good read.”

    Fly–

    It’s hard to get somebody my age to laugh. Having blurbed quite a few books myself, I laughed my ass off when I read this.

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  41. Employee8

    Lady G had inquired about Jake’s age a couple of times …. somehow she got her answer … slick, as in Willy!

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  42. Anton Cigur

    308 –

    ROFL.

    That’s my new favorite song.

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  43. The Chart Addict

    Fly,

    Seems like all the registered sex offenders went to Myspace:

    http://tech.yahoo.com/news/nm/20090203/tc_nm/us_myspace_offenders

    All 90,000 of them. HOLY SHIT!

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  44. Damon

    Vegas is in meltdown mode.

    New MGM target price $ 2.50

    Bonds getting downgraded.

    Brutal beatdown for the west coast mafia meatheads.

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  45. The Fly

    Mr. Mortgage on CNBC

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiArwiyggZk

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  46. MySpaceSexOffender
    MySpaceSexOffender

    .

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  47. Alvari40

    Cheezy vid. What’s up Fly? Moving money based on CNBC “news breaks” and now doing the lazy ass hand held vid? Pick yourself up man! Walk away from the light.

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  48. London

    Can we talk housing? Huh? Can we? The time is now. First the rates go, then the foreclosures go, then the new home inventory goes.

    On a related note, the last few days of Fly posts have sounded so bitter, jaded, and contemptuous of any conceivable good news that I can only conclude he turned 47 1/2 and refused to tell anybody…

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  49. The Fly

    Alvari:

    Naturally, you’re an idiot. Like I have time to record come bullshit off CNBC.

    London:

    Still 32. However, my hate is running at an all time high. I think it’s all the “stimuless” bullshit.

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  50. Damon

    So, equity investors….do you want a one party system in America?

    They’ve powers who want it, have almost got it now without amnesty. (Mr, Soros just loves this stuff)

    Another really good reason to use E-Verify.(and I’m not even a Republican).

    Mr. Fly:

    Instead of picking stocks…or market direction, and other boring stuff like that….we should start a stiffer challenge to the folks here:

    How many more tax cheats are they gonna drag up on senate row before the president fills out his cabinet??

    I will personally send the winner $200.00 (in Mexican pesos)

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  51. Buckeye Bob

    Here is the CNBC video link for Mr. Mortgage
    http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=1020399709&play=1

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  52. j

    heaven .

    can I suggest that anyone that doesn’t want to converse with the dog install a killfile program. After a bit of tinkering it now works beautifully however I still see there are people talking to him and about him. Try it. Life is so much better than having to read the same boring shit every 30 minutes.

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  53. Employee8

    More fractal work by Wood …

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

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  54. mdawsz

    I want a killfile for the one who calls himself “JakeGint”!!!

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  55. Juice

    Mr Mortgage makes CNBC … berry interesting , thx Buckshot Bob

    When will we see da Flea on CNBC?

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  56. Juice

    http://www.house.gov/apps/blog/tx14_paul/

    Ron Paul puts out some good stuff on cures for our economic disease & the stimuless program.

    He needs to get Obama’s ear & in a hurry. He needs to get aggressive. The fucker is too passive make things happen.

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  57. DEVILDOG

    I SEE DEAD BULLS.

    NEW LOWS NEXT WEEK.

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  58. Alvari40

    Fly,

    Thx for the explanation.

    Hey, get a few million ready to deploy – I saw this on CNBC…

    http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=1020388644&play=1

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  59. NAVYSEAL

    I SEE DEAD BEARS.

    NEW HIGHS NEXT WEEK. Write it down.

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  60. Shankapotamus

    I smell burnt devildogs

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  61. Ass Napkin Mike

    Well, I guess the bear market is over. Everyone on CNBC after the bell has been bullish and saying things like:

    “we have more clarity now”
    “we should rally for the next few weeks”
    “people are done selling”
    “the money on the sidelines will come back to the market once the plan comes out”

    Im gonna go throw up now.

    BTW- Bob Pasani on Fast Money tonight looks like such a fuckin creep

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  62. punyandy

    DEVILDOG comes out of the closet next week. I see dead anal cherries. Write it down.

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  63. DPeezy

    @A.N.Mike:
    That should be a pretty good contrarian indicator, no? Maybe we are ready to go back down afterall, DEVILDOG-style…

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  64. glistening abs

    The dude with the Nenner cycle makes it look like a little bit more bottom testing (into next week) followed by S&P 1000 rally ending in mid march. He also claims he is never wrong.

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  65. Lady Guenevere

    Thoughts about tomorrow:

    When meeting obstruction upon obstruction to achieving your goals you can say it is all bad luck. In reality each setback is a test of character. Can you see the humor in Mother Market chiding and playing with her children?

    .

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  66. Welcome to your new life
    Welcome to your new life

    http://worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=87757

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  67. charlie

    Damn. A cat in heat sounds better than Lady G.

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  68. mrkcbill

    Lady G,

    Did you hit the wine bar tonight?

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  69. MOOBER

    If I’m not mistaken, I called this last year. LYV was trading at $14, now $4.

    http://www.reuters.com/article/marketsNews/idINN0353154220090204?rpc=44

    Curious to see the price action tomorrow.

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  70. mrkcbill

    Jake,

    Oh Lord, I’m crying tears….. #5 is gold.

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  71. JakeGint

    MD Sawzall–

    Go chase an ambulance down the block, clutching your gut with one hand and a cooling Oscar Meyer’s finest with ketchup in the other.

    Rectal pomegranate smuggler.

    _________

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  72. MOOBER

    I am crying!

    “Got up in the morning, took the most perfect double-tapered shit I’ve ever had in my life. True story. Who’s the pitchers in this game.”

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  73. Lady Guenevere

    No I was at my parents from 3:30 till 8:30. I dont hang out at the wine bar, I go to various restaurants that are within walking distance for lunch/dinner usually Thursday or Friday.

    My thoughts about the market are my own, it takes a more mature mind to understand the message.

    Besides anyone can say ” the market will be up or the bears will be out or I see dead bulls tomorrow ” and any dumb shit can understand that even you Charlie who is hardly old enough to wipe his own nose.

    Tomorrow is a defensive day, with blocks and obstacles to achieving your goals….how hard is that to understand?

    Sometimes I post for tomorrow a few bullish thoughts like (the sun will come out tomorrow and breakthrough days etc) most however have been bearish or ‘do nothing’ or less is more right now.

    If you cant understand the message just skip over it, in a decade or two when you grow up you may if your lucky have developed deeper insight and can appreciate more abstract and poetic musings.

    Good night Gentlemen.

    Signing Off

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  74. JakeGint

    I generally like to masturbate about 10 times per day, as it relieves me of the additional frustration that can occur when writing witty, pompous bullshit on other people’s trading blogs.

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  75. JakeGint

    Poor sawzall, so much anger.

    Get help son. Or stop representing those welfare cheat “accident victims.”

    It’ll do your conscience good.

    __________

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  76. mdawsz

    I didn’t write that.

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  77. Red

    please donot provoke lady G, it is painful to read…

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  78. JakeGint

    And fyi, it’s eleven times a day.

    Gotta keep those pipes clean, and besides, it makes my wife less nervous.

    __________

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  79. JakeGint

    Sawz,

    What a dilemma. That false accusation must make you doubly angry, then?

    _______

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