Your Money is Going to Zero

What a conundrum.

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“The Fly” enjoyed gratuitous gains today, thanks in large part to his “calculator brain” and “magic market” hand. It must be of great annoyance to many of you, who are short, watching Senor Tropicana knock the sheep skin off the damn sheep, daily. You must feel a sense of betrayal, as Plutonium Petey discards his hunched backed ursine friends, who dress themselves in burlap shirts and velcro pants, in exchange for flowing white robes and leather sandals.

Most of the time, you will not understand the encrypted messages left on this blog, mainly due to your poor reading skills and inadequate cognitive abilities. However, every once in awhile, “The Fly” lowers himself, by way of the “idiot elevator,” to your mental pecking order, with grave messages of looming disaster for those who bet against him.

Dear Friends and Enemies alike, the days of you betting against me are over. All who have resisted, via large short sales, now find their bullshit brokerage accounts in an egregious “negative equity” position or worse (not really possible).

In closing, with gains of more than 6% today, I shall offer mercy to all of you who besmirch me, whether it be a third rate blogger or some sort of internet fucktard, leaving inane messages on this here piece of living literature.

All apologies will be accepted and reviewed in the comments section. That is all.

I bought 5,000 SIFY @ $2.02, 5,000 OVTI @ $10.29, 10,000 RFMD @ $2.46, 10,000 GLW @ $14.72.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the next time you go for a walk, the Italian mafia will kidnap you. And, you may lose money.

Despite rumors of the world ending, investors are cocking up to the table, buying large quantities of small cap dicerolls. To scoff at small cap speculation is equal to beating children because they do not have receding hairlines.

I’ve said it once and I will say it again: most of you are not qualified to invest money for yourselves or for the benefit of others. I’ve been spinning the wheel of fortune for awhile now and I will tell you, emphatically, there is nothing like nailing a melt up in the baby caps.

Just today, I initiated a position in ATML and added to SIFY. In addition to that, I am long FTK, RFMD, TWi, CUZ, SFE, OVTI, ATHR, GLW, iR, ENTR, FSYS, ERX and CROX.

Today’s biggest winners can be found at the roulette table. Names like TWB, MAPP, VRS, RVi, SMi, MNi, ZQK, APPA, JADE, CYTK, PWER, ZIXI and THLD, just to name a few.

In short, you don’t have to like the company or its fundamentals, in order to make a quick 100k in a trade.

Now get off of my blog; you make me sick.

I bought 15,000 [[SIFY]] @ $2.04ish.

Disclaimer: If you buy SIFY because of this post, you will become afflicted with the same mental illness as Jeff Macke. And, you may lose money.

NOTE: RIP Fast Money. Without Ratigan and Macke, all that’s left is talking pony tails and hideously ugly side show acts, with a little TERRANOVA every so often. God willing, you are not into that sort of thing. In addition, I find it rather ironic that I am posting about Jeff Macke’s departure, while simultaneously announcing the purchase of a ridiculous stock.

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Pardon my tardiness, I’ve been busy throwing civil war era cannon balls at my enemies. You may think the market is up due to some event or important press clipping, but you’re wrong. Just turn the noise down a decibel and listen very quietly: YOU’RE AN IDIOT.

That’s all, nothing else to talk about or explain. Some people are meant for greatness (example: “The Fly”) while others were predesigned to work in sweat shops or wash dishes at 5 star restaurants. See pal, you’re washing my dishes, because you failed to heed my warnings. Don’t you see the poetry in that, you fucking vagrant?

Boy am I good.

As indicated in iBankCoin Wealth Strategies Report, Volume #1, I bought a little ATML; but shall wait for a pullback, prior to buying anymore chips. For all intents and purposes, I am fully invested, with a cash position of around 15%.

In addition, I added to my CUZ position, in anticipation of an egregious squeeze in the REITS.

Finally, CA hit another homerun in The PPT today. The kid is fucking amazing. Don’t get in front of this market, for it will leave tire tracks on the back of your “FAZTARD” baseball jerseys.

iBC_Report_vol1 –

Reports of a successful nuclear detonation inside N. Korea aka the “FAZ of nations.” Now we can all shit our pants and teach our kids to protect themselves from random “atom bomb” attacks, by way of hiding under their school desks.

Developing…