A Dramatic Day

Clad with smoking jackets and Playbills in hand, investors worried all day long about the fate of their equities. For many, the drama was too much, sending them to their local hospitals due to chronic fainting syndrome aka “vasovagal.” Before passing out from all of the turmoil, melodramatic investors sold out of their holdings and bought healthy amounts of [[FAZ]] aka “they got in the FAZmobile.”

While in the back seat of my 1980’s style stretch limo, I witnessed some of these fruity investors discussing the “market theatrics,” just prior to throwing a pack of firecrackers at them.

“Oh Henry, my portfolio is down. The drama, it’s, it’s too much (he faints, firecrackers ensue).”

As I type this blog, the Dow Jones is down a staggering 0.58%, causing the distinguished talking faces on CNBC to scare people stupid, by way of reminding them that we might retest the March 2009 lows, indeud. Then they scurry about to discuss the unimportant developments regarding ETF issuance.

In short, “The Fly” took his lumps like a man, losing almost 3% for the day. Easy come, easy go. If the momentum continues to the downside, there is another 200 points max of downside left. However, I would not be surprised to see the market trade up tomorrow. Once again, just to remind you stupid bastards where I stand, this is a LONG ONLY market. Failure to adhere to these prescient warnings will result in the foreclosure of your house, dissolution of your marriage and custody loss of your kids.

Trade accordingly.

Let the market sell off a bit; who cares? Today’s bloody tape is good for the bears’ confidence. Let them get all huffy again, so that I may burn them at the stake later. It’s equal to letting a small child win a footrace. Run little bear, run.

I’m not ready to buy just yet. The sell off is too shallow. I have numerous positions getting punched in the scrotum and I view such assaults as “healthy.”

At the very top of my shopping list, on further weakness, is Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] , Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] and Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] .

If you are a short term trader, with your dicks stuck in donuts over this sell off, do something about it. Do yourself a favor and run your positions through a virtual stress test, reducing their stock prices by 20% or so, and see if you can handle it. If not, you need to raise cash.

See folks, investing is not about making money, then taking your special lady friend to the opera for celebration. That’s fucking gay. Life in the market is about digging a trench in your front yard, in order to sneak attack your neighbor by offering him a 6am punch to the face, unannounced and completely unexpected. If you are trading like an imbecile, then you are a victim and will be treated as such.

Be a predator; quit being a pussy.

Bottom line: stocks are weak. Expect to lose money. Make sure you can handle it.

I ride on top of elephants, on Wall Street, sniping at many of you with poisonous arrows and makeshift harpoons. You would be shocked to know how many professional money managers are short this market. Even though it makes no sense to get in the way of a space alien magician, firing poisonous arrows from atop a fucking elephant, they still get in my way.

Basically, we’re all waiting for Alcoa Inc. [[AA]] to come in with some abhorrent earnings report, in order to justify a sell-off. Unfortunately, the game is so rigged, even Alcoa Inc. [[AA]] can blow the door handles off the door, then proceed to kick it in.

Sometime soon, you will regret the day you were born, whenever the market decides to reverse and sell-off a bit. Lucky for me, I am in possession of a mathematical market marvel (The PPT) and will be able to avoid such pitfalls. I can see it now, all of you giddy fuckers lose it all, amidst a 15% market pullback—classic “kill an e-trade investor” market. Hopefully, this time around, many of you ham and eggers will heed my dire warnings and get in the bunkers, instead of braving out nuclear warheads to the face.

If the stock Gods bless me with Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] profts (cost basis $2.30), I shall give away money, in some sort of contest. I haven’t thought about the amount or the conditions; but it will be meaningful. Let’s not put the carriage in front of the horse just yet: the stock is still as gay as a three legged statue of Michael Jackson, glove and all.

In closing, I enjoyed another up day, led by Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] , Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , CGG Veritas (ADR) [[CGV]] and Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc. [[CMG]] , pressing my rights to bountiful stock market gains to over 13%, year to date.

For the Distinguished Members of The PPT Only: Quick Update on My Positions.

I bought an undisclosed stock at an undisclosed price for the $100 roll.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above undisclosed stock because of this post, you will be afflicted with instant blindness. And, you may lose money.

To be long this market in size is equal to speed chopping carrots with your balls on the table, one of my favorite things to do. Even though the long trade has been very consistent, it’s always a little unsettling to be so bullish, amidst such a tragic economic backdrop. Nevertheless, until the mood changes, men with large pipes and well stocked cabinets filled with aged scotch want this market to go up.

Starting off the am, I am greeted with “extreme green” in a variety of names. You do not need to be concerned with such names, for they are mine. What you need to focus on is the quality of your trades, not the quantity. As you readily know by now, “The Fly” partakes in only the highest end of trades, such trades that can only be discussed in the smokiest dark oak rooms, or here on this bullshit website.

I am a sucker for the internets! God bless Al Gore.

Thus far, I am feeling the vibes being disseminated from several of my positions. Again, the names of these companies are really none of your concern. If you want stock ideas, I gather there are plenty of [[FAZ]] and [[SRS]] rec’s taking place on twitter, right about now.

Rumor has it, inside of a certain—undisclosed— smoky dark oak room, men with large pipes, and glasses brimming with aged scotch, are conversing about the prospects of CGG Veritas (ADR) [[CGV]] , U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] , Wimm-Bill-Dann Foods OJSC (ADR) [[WBD]] and Mechel OAO (ADR) [[MTL]]. Don’t quote me on that.
Additionally, some people believe Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] , Vimpel-Communications (ADR) [[VIP]] , Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Corinthian Colleges, Inc. [[COCO]], W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] and SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] look “pretty awesome” too. Once again, I refuse to be quoted on “suchness,” as Mrs. Fly would say.

In early 2009 I started going long stocks at the height of the credit crisis, give or take a week or two (some of you are just so sensitive). Do you remember what stocks I started buying?

Survey says:

GUNS!

I started buying Sturm, Ruger & Company [[RGR]] , Smith & Wesson Holding Corporation [[SWHC]] and Big 5 Sporting Goods Corporation [[BGFV]] , because I was past the point of caring. The way I figured, we were on the verge of a massive “ape-rape” and KING COCK needed to get his trade on, by way of an armed revolution. The trade was the easiest of my life, since it was do or die. If we shit the bed, there was a 10 out of 10 chance that people would start shooting thy neighbor in the face for warm winter blankets. If we didn’t shit the bed, everything would go up in unison and we’d all smoke weed, drink beers, and yell at the TV again, over idiotic football games or stark raving gay reality teevee shows.

Back then, I packed up my shit, put it in my spaceship (made from 100% dynamite), and headed out for the fucking Sun. I just went. No looking back or second guessing—just outer space exploration. By the way, I am still on my journey and I still don’t give a fuck. Sure, I have lots of money to slap people in the face with, if I chose to go that route. I guess it’s due to my modest upbringing and the fact that stock picking has always come easy to me (since 10 years old, motherfucker); but money doesn’t infect my mind like it rips through the souls of some of you clam fucking, backstabbing asshats. Just thinking about how lame some of you bottom feeders are makes me want to vomit on some random homeless guy. Hey, I’d be doing him a favor; it’s fucking cold outside and vomit is warm.

I value loyalty 10x more than hard currency.

The point I am trying to make, ever so boldly, I still have my fucking foot on the gas, heading straight for the sun, via egregiously large long directional trades—sans the hedges (they’re for bitches). Get in my way, I’m liable to “moon-stomp” craters into some of your faces.

Tune in tomorrow, when Senor Tropicana will invite you to his coin minting castle, much to the chagrin of the enemies imprisoned in his “detainment catacombs.”

Let’s talk about Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] .

In 2008, due to the credit crisis, farmers around the world cut back on potash. For example, China reduced its appetite for potassium by a whopping 36%, sending the shares of Potash Corp./Saskatchewan (USA) [[POT]] , The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] and Intrepid Potash, Inc. [[IPI]] through the fucking floorboards. What did Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] do amidst the credit bust cycle? They made their largest investment in company history, by greatly expanding their potash division. In 2008, their potash division produced 186,000 tonnes. By 2013, they are projected to produce 1.5million. Holy fucking cow-tits!

It gets better.

Farmers can’t milk the land for too much longer, without fucking themselves into the poorhouse. According to the laws of science, if you withhold potash (potassium chloride) from your farms for too long, you end up looking like the Soviet Union, circa early 1990’s. After 3 years of reduced potash, you will “enjoy” a 10-25% drop in yield. If you are brave enough to hold out for 5 years, your farm gets “ape raped” to the tune of 62% yield reduction.

In other words, Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] is in the sweet spot.

In addition to potassium chloride, Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] is the largest producer of potassium nitrate (49%), iodine (33%) and lithium (30%) in the world.

Let’s talk lithium.

Lithium is used in all sorts of shit, most notably your smartphones. Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] stands to benefit from the proliferation of worldwide mobile network expansion. With their surplus lithium, Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] decided to delve into the hybrid/electric car market. Oh yeah, electric cars use lithium batteries.

Whatever the fuck these green lunatics plan to do with CAFE standards, Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] stands to benefit, as they are the largest producer of lithium carbonate in the world. If none of this floats your Cadillac, SQM’s nitrate products are also used in solar electricity generation plants.

Where is the stock heading?

Well, it’s hard to tell, since most of the surprise stuff (hybrids, solar, potash) is not really baked into the estimates. Let’s just say, she’s going to $55 AND MORE.

May all bears, who are shorting Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] , fall into deep vats of acid, then fished out for proper burial inside of an active volcano.

The stock Gods have spoken: “SQM is blessed.”

Now go back to prattling on twitter, regarding how “poised” FAZ is here and how you just put the entirety of your grandmother’s IRA account into SRS.

As the economy improves, life is only going to get worse for short sellers. See, you internet motherfuckers are trapped in some sort of bubble world, completely detached from reality and shit. Back in the real world, there are men at work, decked out in the finest burlap garments, shorting the shit out of stocks. By now, these fuckers are so embedded, so wrong, they have their dicks stuck in a clam and there is no way out but down. Meaning: they will endure the pain of a bull market, until they are out of business (eviscerated) or proven correct ( successful clam rape).

Either way, I still enjoy throwing jars of jelly (grape) at them, while making “space money” in my longs, like Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] and Flowserve Corporation [[FLS]] —just to name a few.

At any rate, it’s important to remember how wrong these people are and how religious they are about their dogma.

What are we talking about here? We are talking about betting on numerous short only funds blowing the fuck up and checking themselves out of the business. Here are 10 heavily shorted stocks worth monitoring, courtesy of The PPT.

Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc. [[CMG]] , The McClatchy Company [[MNI]] , SuccessFactors, Inc. [[SFSF]] , [[CAB]] , Netflix, Inc. [[NFLX]] , American Superconductor Corporation [[AMSC]] , American Axle & Manufact. Holdings, Inc. [[AXL]] , [[RDN]] , DryShips Inc. [[DRYS]] and United States Steel Corporation [[X]] .

There are so many different ways to toss old people into dirty sewage pipes. However, none are better than doing it via an egregious short squeeze.

Trade accordingly.

Going for yet another $100 roll, I repurchased 5,000 W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] @ $98.75; and for a squeeze, I went long 3,000 Ethan Allen Interiors Inc. [[ETH]] @ $14.23.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, your neighbors will spread false rumors about you and point fingers as you drive by. And, you may lose money.