Clad with smoking jackets and Playbills in hand, investors worried all day long about the fate of their equities. For many, the drama was too much, sending them to their local hospitals due to chronic fainting syndrome aka “vasovagal.” Before passing out from all of the turmoil, melodramatic investors sold out of their holdings and bought healthy amounts of [[FAZ]] aka “they got in the FAZmobile.”
While in the back seat of my 1980’s style stretch limo, I witnessed some of these fruity investors discussing the “market theatrics,” just prior to throwing a pack of firecrackers at them.
“Oh Henry, my portfolio is down. The drama, it’s, it’s too much (he faints, firecrackers ensue).”
As I type this blog, the Dow Jones is down a staggering 0.58%, causing the distinguished talking faces on CNBC to scare people stupid, by way of reminding them that we might retest the March 2009 lows, indeud. Then they scurry about to discuss the unimportant developments regarding ETF issuance.
In short, “The Fly” took his lumps like a man, losing almost 3% for the day. Easy come, easy go. If the momentum continues to the downside, there is another 200 points max of downside left. However, I would not be surprised to see the market trade up tomorrow. Once again, just to remind you stupid bastards where I stand, this is a LONG ONLY market. Failure to adhere to these prescient warnings will result in the foreclosure of your house, dissolution of your marriage and custody loss of your kids.
Trade accordingly.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6x6bs9qigcM 616 500] If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter
fig
all leadership is gone: amzn, aapl, gs — because they all are just too bloated to go any further.
this is not a long only market anymore. The first week of Jan. was the last burp of stupidity.
For now on, only people who do their homework will profit. That knocks out 99% of ibankcoin readership.
See my post below
If earnings come in-line or stronger than the previous quarter and the market takes a breather pulling back on fear, dragging 75%+ of the equities in the S&P, P/E ratios will fall back closer to historical averages and entice nervous fundamental investors.
so go short, gay-man
The Fly is God.
You were right, once again.
RIP Jan BGZ 18 calls.
Here it is without the feathers:
http://z.about.com/d/antiques/1/0/2/N/13baldwin1.jpg
Bah. Two days sell down max followed by further “dramatic” pins and digestion of intc results Friday. The market catches its feet by next week at the latest.
Great day to have KFT as one’s largest position, boring as you might think that would be.
Fuck you, Jay Leno.
People of Earth:
In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.
Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.
But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.
Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.
So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.
There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.
Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.
Yours,
Conan
Co-man was over yesterday for lunch and led on that this might be happening. We smoked a doobie and proceeded to eat some acid. But don’t worry, he’ll be back with another network. The pink elephants told him to do so…
Participating in illegal behavior is a violation of our Homeowners Association rules which you agreed to abide by when you bought your house. You must stop now or else I will need to request a Homeowners meeting and boy oh boy you will be in big trrouble mister. And stay away from Steve,Jr. and his friend Fly, Jr.
Then you need to re-paint your door, Steve – I know your unemployment has allowed you to indulge in your
“artistic” side, but that chartreuse/fuschia scheme has GOT to go.
Not only is it butt ugly, it is in violation of art. 3.176 of the Homeowner’s Association rules you love to quote so well.
Please return your door color to its rightful shocking pink, and paint all your windows black.
Your Neighbour,
314 Bubblegum Lane
“Oh Henry, my portfolio is down. The drama, it’s, it’s too much (he faints, firecrackers ensue).”
That was hilarious, monsieur.
Long only market is so 2009. Change it up. Perhaps Warren B. can muster a deal that will be Cash Flow + before he dies…. Let’s see…. I call stick save next Monday.
That H.8, credit contraction, U-6 unemployment, and such…. do make it difficult to manipulate earnings to get excited about.
Options expirations indicates good chance we fall another 3%-4% by Friday.
Care to elaborate?
He’s talking about his magic 8 ball
It’s a system I’ve used for years to determine prevailing pressure during opex weeks…this expiration is the most out of balance than any during 2009.
The market goes UP tomorrow – if only because too many people want it to go down. Don’t worry, it will go down soon enough!
If the Fly were gay, which he most certainly is not, but if he were, there would be nothing wrong with that.
But if he were, he would do it in a big way, flamboyantly, flamingly, like Liberace 🙂
PS You should have thrown a bunch of M-80’s today, not the run-of-the-mill packs of firecrackers
non gay song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0FcsQ5ybUs
LOL — never heard/saw it before, but my first reaction was …. “Counting Crows’ Ghey Son.”
_________
Soooooo……..should we take this post with Liberace playing the old American Airlines theme song as a subliminal message to buy airline stocks.
Don’t get out much, eh?
What happened to ICXT? Great late burst. Hopefully that will cary into tomorrow.
I am going long this market with a stop just below the March 2009 lows.
LOL.
__________
Can’t we have just a few shorts? I’m beggin’ you man.
Proposed Strategy: Long Senor Tropicana, Short Dillards (DDS)
China takes moves to remove liquidity so that they don’t overheat. Metals and miners took heat today in part because of this; however know this, this is intended to slow their growth from 16% to something more less gay (not that…yadda yadda yaddda) like, say….ummm…..9.5%. This move gets us back to what the models originally said growth would be in China for 2010. Loaded up on another FCX position today to take advantage of the pull back. Would love to see one more pull back to the $80 level to load up once more. I love this country.
GOOG Google to “review the feasibility” of its business operations in China ($590.48)
On its blog, Google says that it in mid-December, it detected a highly sophisticated and targeted attack on its corporate infrastructure originating from China, and that what at first appeared to be solely a security incident, was something quite different.
* First, the attack was not just on Google, but on 20 other large companies.
* Second, Google has evidence to suggest that a primary goal of the attackers was accessing the Gmail accounts of Chinese human rights activists (but did not achieve its objective).
* Third, Google has discovered that the accounts of dozens of U.S.-, China- and Europe-based Gmail users who are advocates of human rights in China appear to have been routinely accessed by third parties. These accounts have not been accessed through any security breach at Google, but most likely via phishing scams or malware placed on the users’ computers.
* The attacks have led Google to conclude that it should review the feasibility of its business operations in China.
* Google has decided it is no longer willing to continue censoring results on Google.cn, and over the next few weeks it will be discussing with the Chinese government the basis on which it could operate an unfiltered search engine within the law, if at all. Google recognizes that this may well mean having to shut down Google.cn, and potentially Google’s offices in China.
Duh.
And how many civilians use gmail and g-calendars for the kids’ schedules???
Don’t be evil.
Or very stupid.
PS I’m not wearing tin foil…although I also won’t be the first dude on the block with a google phone.
Citigroup excerpts on the GOOG situation tonight:
GOOG Discloses A “New Approach” To China In A Blog Post — The key point is that in reaction to Cyber-attacks apparently aimed at Chinese human rights activists on Google’s network, Google has decided to review the feasibility of its business operations in China. Google has also decided to no longer continue censoring results on Google.cn. The blog notes: “We recognize that this may well mean having to shut down Google.cn, and potentially our offices in China.”
It Is Unclear To Us How This Will Be Resolved — On one hand, we find it hard to believe that Google would permanently remove itself from the China market. On the other hand, there are precedents in Google’s recent history of the company taking strong stands on privacy issues in the U.S.
Stock Implications – GOOG drifted down 1.1% in the aftermarket on the news. From our perspective, Google has faced significant market share and legal/public policy challenges in the China market over the last few years. We believe that from an investment perspective these challenges have significantly limited financial/valuation expectations for Google in China. Thus, as a first pass, we view this development as a modest – not a material — negative development for GOOG.
5 bucks says that Google’s just taking their toys home because China wanted to steal Google tech for Baidu and the human rights stuff is just a cover.
http://twitter.com/wikileaks/status/7689041346
Good on them. The “do no evil” policy finally hitting home? You can fuck around with totalitarian assholes for a while, but it is a losing proposition.
I like INAP this week. I can see it going up from the 4.98 to around 7-8 dollars in the near future.
Today was the bottom. If you did not load up today at the end then I am sorry…
earth quake in hati 7.0
i hear the fly’s got a video spot on stocktwits tv comin up.
Not a chance in red hell.
i suppose i’ll look forward to the freezing over and renaming of the new, “blue hell” to see you on my internet machine.
A interesting by Zstock7:
“The first week of MAR, 2009, the market bottomed–If you sell a stock before one year is up, you pay MORE, MUCH MORE taxes on that as part of your income bracket. If you hold for one year and one day, you only pay 17% taxes– So, everybody that bought stock at the bottom in MAR 2009, cannot wait for one year and one day to get here soon enough, so they can sell their 400% gainers, and get the 17% tax rate. That means, lots of SELLING is a possibility, MAR 8-12.” – Zstock7
JDAS is the new leader.
I am sadly down for the year. Managing other people’s money is very stressful for me. I got in the FAZmobile today because Monday was the market top TOP!
Ouch, cold but your shtick never gets old, fake Tim.
Im not the fake Tim though. Everything I type is as real as real can be as verified through my website.
^don’t quit your day job / try harder.
This is almost comical if not SAM scary-like.
http://www.cnbc.com/id/34809756/site/14081545
How many of these stocks do you/have you owned since the beginning of the year Fly?
This is true. “Oh Henry” reminds me of Weird Science kitchen scene.
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