Bears Horrified in “Fuck You, You’re Dead” Trading

I made so much money today; I feel dirty. I walk around, looking at the commoners, and I ALMOST feel sorry for them. The truth of the matter is, some people are destined for greatness, while others are stuck planting bushes on some losers property. Don’t hate me because I am better than you; I was built better.

Some of my positions include: POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , [[CBD]] , Wimm-Bill-Dann Foods OJSC (ADR) [[WBD]] , Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] , Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] , W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] , U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] , Masco Corporation [[MAS]], ICICI Bank Limited (ADR) [[IBN]] and TEKELEC [[TKLC]] —just to name a few.

The market shall break out above 11,000 Dow and there is nothing you or your moronic friends can do about it. Expect to see plenty of guide ups, during this earnings season, sans banks and retarded companies (of course).

Short sellers must have brain cancer to be stubborn enough to have open shorts here. NOTHING brings the market down and NOTHING can stop this psychopath market from marching higher, apparently so. Last week I took some of my chips off the table, by way of selling some stocks to raise some cash. In hindsight, THAT was a bad idea. But life is all about making HORRENDOUS ideas, laughing at them, then doing stuff to correct said actions.

However, in my case, I will accept overreaching cautiousness, in return for peace of mind. I am up 15% inside of 3 weeks and there is nothing wrong with taking the foot off the pedal—so there.

My top pick, right here, right now, is TEKELEC [[TKLC]] . The stock is a play on text messaging for the AT&T Inc. [[T]] network, as they are the largest supplier of signal transfer point for At&t. You need to think iPhone, and how big it is becoming, and you need to do it now. As Apple Inc. [[AAPL]] destroys Research In Motion Limited (USA) [[RIMM]] , more people will flock to the At&t network, by way of buying an iPhone (Apple is locked into a contract with T). Plus, there is a decent short position (7%+) worth flattening out like a panini.

I love when politics becomes drama for the masses. Everyone is so worked up over Brown and his pending bitch-slap to the democratic party. While I am politically indifferent, I do enjoy a good public bitch-slap.

In a word: GIVEMEKENNEDYSSEATBITCH.

On a separate note, I’ve ordered 3 dozen Japanese beetles and will soon have them deposited into someone’s backyard.

As for stocks, forget the banks. Citigroup Inc. [[C]] just reported and the numbers sucked. You know, 68% of Citi’s revenue originate from overseas? That’s an amazing figure. If I was an American, which I most certainly am, I would not trust those fucking nerds over at Citi with my dinero. Banks are simply too difficult to analyze. They all lie and are protected by world governments to successfully continue said lies. I propose, why bother with banks when there are perfectly fine technology and commodity stocks available for purchase?

Ultimately, banks will sink into oblivion, as their weighting in the S&P 500 shrinks over time. I would not be surprised to see the financial weighting in the S&P around 10%, 5 years from now. If you need financial exposure, you’re better off with insurance or asset managers in your portfolios.

Okay, time to get ready for the trading day, via eating 3 large bowls of oatmeal. I am not talking regular “hey look I’m a dumb guy eating oatmeal” large. I am talking MONSTROUSLY large bowls, on a very, very hideous scale.

Despite my “fuck you, you’re dead” internet persona, I never hurt people in real life, who didn’t already have it coming to them. With success (trading, blogging, life in general) comes jealousy and hatred. Such hatred can make an idiot do what comes natural to him/her: attack. With most people, haters are permitted to run rampant, as most “normal” people do not enjoy conflict or getting involved in inane debates. Well, you motherfuckers came to the wrong Fly, for I will fucking massacre you.

I will send 30 male hookers to your house (one for each day of the month). I can dispatch people to go on road trips and leave dead fish in your beautiful garden or send paid pizzas to your residence, every night at 10pm. I do not ask for much. All I ask is to be left alone. I don’t like people and I hate when slimy sleezeballs enter into my fray. Everything is traceable and I do not play fair, so fuck off before I make your life difficult.

On a separate note, the markets will climb tomorrow, effectively throwing salt in the eyes of some of you [[FAZ]] clam-fuckers. You got your dick stuck in a clam and there is no way out but loose.

God speed.

With European markets trading up today, I expect to see the U.S. markets bounce, when trading begins tomorrow morning. As far as my cash position is concerned, I am pretty comfortable with 15%, at least for the next few days. Who knows?

I will provide the readers of this site with a short term game plan, later on tonight or early tomorrow.

A little FYI: Wood’s PDS service is kicking ass on a monumental scale, booking a success ratio of 83%, successfully calling 181 of 218 trades. Truly amazing. If you are interested, find one of the ads on the site and sign up for a free trial. I don’t feel like short cutting it for you lazy fuckers, by providing a convenient link in this post.

FYI II: iBC will be welcoming a new contributor, sometime soon. It will be different and it will be grande.

Krull at his best. Become Amish; fuck the mules.

A lot of you blogging fuckers make believe you know how to manage real money, when in fact you are trading the sea shells from my beach house. Do yourselves a favor and quit blogging, RIGHT NOW, else feel the tip of my sharpened sword.

NOTE: This missive is pointed directly at the clowns who claim to be “great investors” but offer little game plan for the mid-intermediate term investor. Anyone with real money knows and understands that day trading is for birds, small birds with big beaks. In other words, you are inexorably irrelevant.

In summary, iBankCoin urinates on you from 500 story high balconies.

UPDATE: Indeud.

The iBC iphone app, as you know by now, is a HUGE success, averaging nearly 2,000 downloads per day—a favorite of sorts for the miscreants who enjoy reading high caliber financial commentary. From the front lines, I am pleased to report, iBC has vanquished the clowns from Yahoo Finance and have set their guns aka HOWITZERS on the cocksuckers at CNBC.

Developing…

NOTE: We are #10 in finance apps and climbing, with great veracity.

…several large pitbulls are nibbling at your balls, while a herd of moose stomp your face in. You don’t want to go short the market,  no matter how bad this tape looks. Look you, it’s a Friday afternoon. People like me are outside buying shit for the weekend, planning events and gatherings. On a personal note, I’m plotting to humiliate people, in a very clever and ingenious way, might I add.

Once again, good folks from the internets, life is all about humiliating others, while advancing your own cause. If that means you should run an old guy (who happens to be in a fucking wheel chair) over with with your pick-up truck, in order to make the green light: then so be it. Life is short; live a little and go nuts. Drink 30 cups of coffee in one sitting; see what happens to your fucking brain and central nervous system.

With the market down, many bearshitters have reemerged, from their muddy graves, half-stepping to iBC, in order to warn of apocalypse and infectious cancer. Much to their chagrin, “The Fly” warned everyone of a pending sell off yesterday. And, as a result, he raised a little “cashish.” Oh, it must hurt my enemies, me being so good and all.

Bottom line: go eat a sandwich and try to avoid fucking with your central nervous system. I was just joking about that, dipshit.

Fuck this noise. I cashed out of AgFeed Industries, Inc. [[FEED]] and Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc. [[CMG]] and reduced my Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] position by 90%. No worries, I will buy said names lower.

Developing…