iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,374 Blog Posts

Looky Here (spoken in dumbass southern accent)

I have a new obsession, all to do with creating robot voice sounding cartoons. I am not particularly sure you guys see the humor in it, as I do. For the first time ever, I am asking for your opinion, as I do not wish to waste my time making short films just for my own entertainment.

With regards to the “stock exchange,” bog standard, it appears I am banking coin again, despite your petty curses and low grade witchcraft. As we climb towards our daily point quota (40), I am blessed with gains in [[TLT]] , [[CBD]] , [[TAN]] , TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] and General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] . Looky here, even my little [[SRS]] position is up a chickens liver. Hot damn it, I am fucking good.

On a serious note, my blogs (at times) offer a great deal of confusion to the average goat fucker, who wants financial advice in the same manner as he orders Big Macs. At the present, I have 30% of my assets in [[TLT]] , 10% in [[VXX]] 30% long equities and the rest in cash. [[SRS]] is one bearish position, which represents a very small portion of overall assets, so small it is not mentioned in this post.

In short, I can no longer guesstimate when the market will drop. All I can do is prepare for the eventuality, while trying to make a few million (a mill here a mill there) as that “eventuality” pans out.

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The Mother of All Melt-Ups is Upon Us

It appears my 10,000 shares of [[SRS]] will be “swimming in red ink” come Monday morning. But then again, for me, 10,000 shares of a $5 stock is like a sip of whiskey for a homeless bum. Actually, I am rooting for the market to go “GODZILLA to the UPSIDE”, so that I may recoup ferocious losses in Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] . I feel, as always, FTK is ready to perform autopsies on live bearshitters, if that makes any sense (it certainly does not).

I will have you know, I am in possession of the world’s greatest stock pick and I care not, to say the least, to share it with you.

The Greeks have been bailed out by their bitches and the world will now rejoice. There is something to be said about the fucking Greeks and their proclivity to fuck people out of money. They are, without a doubt, without honor. And, I wish the Persian armies of the East will fuck them up something awful, burning down their libraries and enslaving the Greek elderly to work inside of filthy ceramic factories.

Two important matters:

1. If you are a web developer and have crazy skills, email me your qualifications (find my email address you lazy fucker). I might have some temp work for you.

2. I am just getting started, so prepare for egregious developments.

UPDATE: MrkcBill came to visit me at my office and the transcripts of our meeting were turned into a short film. Enjoy.

EGREGIOUS UPDATES:
I tried my own hand at making these short films.

The Fly Meets DevilDog’s assistant, part I
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zr-9BegAyhc 616 500]

The Fly meets DevilDog’s assistant, part II
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juEYHB4ZOgM 616 500]

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Remember Your History, Boy

Let’s take a ride in Senor Tropicana’s time machine to April of last year and view the rather one sided battles between “The Fly” and “The Readers”

Exhibit a (bet against me, see what happens)

Exhibit B (the day I sold most of my inverse ETF’s)

Exhibit C (called the bottom in semis)

Exhibit D (the day HORATIO CLAWHAMMER died)

Exhibit E (100% cash at the March lows of 2009)

Exhibit F (called the bottom, like it or not)

Caveat: Believe you me, posting 5 times per day leads to saying a lot of shit, some of which is just whim of the moment stuff. My point here is to demonstrate, via past pivotal moments in the market, how people were responding to my controversial moves and how they eventually panned out (my best year ever was 2009 with a close 2nd being 2008).

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God Smiles Upon Those Who Smite You

I initiated my first short position, in a long, long time, via going long [[SRS]] —based upon the algorithms of The PPT. At the present, SRS has a technical score of 1.05 (1 is the lowest score possible). There have been just two occasions in PPT history when the score was below 1.10, today and 5/11/09. Back in May of last year, the stock bounced quickly off the lows and netted about 14% in two trading days. Will history repeat itself?

As a matter of fact it will, indeud.

I am long SRS until mid next week, then I vamoose to cash on the position.

Your disobedience to Goldman’s Trading Robot (Harry) C14452q has been duly noted. As we speak, they are hacking into your trading account, in order to sell short your longs and mark up your shorts. Betting against “a sure thing”, better know to you as “the stock market” is nonsensical and always results in arduous losses. While the burlap gets ripped to shreds and blue blazers lit aflame amidst risk assessment models, I am reminded of a dream I had last night, where I was riding from state to state on this stupid bicycle that had a giant blue flag attached to the back seat. I was peddling all over the place, running over people and then, suddenly, it stopped. I woke up laughing at my dream, because it made no sense.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNRttN9fYr0 616 500]

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Fly Buy: SRS

I bought 10,000 [[SRS]] @ $5.58.

Disclaimer: PPT related issue here. Please ignore and go about your day as if you did not see this.

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Enter Jackass

While I sit here, drinking 40 ounces of beer, eating 40 shrimp cocktails and enjoying another 40 point lift in the Dow, I find myself slightly enraged by the number “40.” Is it necessary for the puppet masters to be so candid in their obvious disdain for free markets, by way of performing daily 40 point triumphs? It’s like alien space invaders building pyramids or inventing Einstein.

Some of my stocks are lower today, namely POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] and [[MWW]] . However, do not fear, General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] , Citigroup Inc. [[C]] and Brocade Communications Systems, Inc. [[BRCD]] are making up for their insolence. The good news is: Adobe Systems Incorporated [[ADBE]] has bottomed, as predicted yesterday, and can now trend higher with the rest of the little sheep. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa.

With my money, I might as well buy OEX calls, slightly out of the money, everyday, for as long as I live. Or, I can continue the path of most resistance, and do nothing. The mystery de Le Fly continues!

On a serious note, due to my delirium and hunger to do something “crazy,” I am considering buying more Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , down at these levels. It’s been awhile since I bought the name—in earnest. However, with financing out of the way and the market a sure thing, it makes sense to buy the worst managed drilling parts company, who happens to be saddled with a massive short position, while the stock is stuck in the $1’s. Just thinking out loud, folks. Thinking.out.loud.

Good day.

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Late Night Riddle

What does a 259% increase in Baccarat gambling have to do with the price of tea in China?

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How Many Ounces Are in a 40?

Fucking bullshit market cheated us of our 40. We shall eat the livers of whoever sold stock, denying us of grandeur and illustrious prosperity.

On a side note, the Foxconn Ipad Factories, located in the Shenzen Guang Dong Province of China, specifically District North 2, is driving prison factory workers to “merc” themselves, while you sip on your fucking queered out lattes and nibble on fatty macaroons.

In the words of some anonymous gentlemen from the iBankCoin comments section this morning: “there is a 100% chance of the market trading higher today.” Take those words to heart and remember them always, especially during tepid dips.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQCkAMmNGIo 616 500]

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Laugh Now; Die Later

For your information, R.W. Pelican has gone back to his home city of The Vatican, where he will continue offering his sage advice to God’s gayest men. Even if I wanted to bring him back, I’d need to formally request his assistance through the proper government channels, all things I am not very keen on doing.

With regards to this market, I humbly offer you my condolences in advance, for you are already dead.

“Here lies a great asshole, who lost the family fortune in Chinese rubber stocks, during the great robot bubble of 2010.”

To throw the market strength back in my face, well, it’s rather uncouth of you to do so. Keep in mind, I do not bet against you, by way of FAZmobiles and other devious instruments. I only pray against you, with the hopes of buying your margin liquidation for pennies on the dollar. As you can tell, “The Fly” has lots of time on his hands, as he marinates here in liquidity, waiting for his market. You know, it’s not hard to just buy stocks and drink 40 ounces with clients. I’ve been down that road before and it’s pretty damn easy. What I am doing to myself, at the present, requires a great deal of discipline. Albeit, I may be doing this shit for nothing, sort of like those Japanese fuckers fighting WW2 in the 1950’s. But, I am doing it nonetheless.

Adobe Systems Incorporated [[ADBE]] is behaving like a bitch of a whore. Look for that stock to reverse upwards soon.

Aside from that, I like Brocade Communications Systems, Inc. [[BRCD]] , based upon break up value, and TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] /General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] —based upon the laws of seasonality.

Be well and fuck off.

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You Will Get What’s Coming to You Soon

Fuck you guys.

Do you think the market will go up forever? Most of you are ball-less, in the sense that you can’t pull the trigger on counter-risk investments. So you know, [[TLT]] now represents an Earth shattering 30% of my assets, much to your chagrin and much to your dismay. You are like a dog. If I was around your place of employment and threw a bone near your desk, I am 100% positive you would fetch it, instinctively.

While President O’bama dismantles our “evil” nuclear arms arsenal, the stock market is building a fucking Tsar Bomba to drop on your heads. Let me go on the record and say: I love nuclear weapons and pray for more warheads, every single night, before my late night drives.

In short, keep your faces glued to your monitors and watch [[VXX]] or ^VIX very closely, We have been one way for so long. The time has come for managers to hedge risk by way of buying large quantities of put contracts, which will inevitably give a lift to the VIX.

Top picks: [[VXX]] , [[TLT]] , Brocade Communications Systems, Inc. [[BRCD]]

NOTE: For the record, The PPT‘s new “master indicator” downgraded the market to a sell yesterday, with just 35% of stocks ranked “buy.”

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