You’re An Idiot

Go shoot yourself in the face with a howitzer. What’s today’s daily doom? Did the fucking bond bubble burst? Oh, wait, the pending Fed announcement will be contrived, no matter what, as incredibly bearish. Let’s face facts: you’re not qualified to manage anyone’s money. Moreover, you are not capable of operating on the top shelf, especially when it comes to this business of bloggery.

I expect the market to dip on the Fed announcement. I do not care if it comes back. If we shoot straight up: great. You need to understand something about me: I speed chop carrots, while placing my balls on the counter. I am not scared of anything, sans driving on idiot roads on the side of mountains. Go ahead, keep betting against me; see where it gets you.

I told you this day would come, when “The Fly’s” winship was so supreme, it would stifle the entire fucking blog. None of you cocksuckers say a word, else I’ll melt your faces off with my internet laser beam.

Into the Fed meeting, I am long Bearded Clam, America and whatever the fuck the voices in my head tell me to buy.

I bought CX and VMC, as I swallowed whole ice cubes.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the next time you eat steak, you will choke and die. And, you may lose money.

Here is some leaked footage of the ordeal.

Question: If we are printing money like reckless knaves, then why is the dollar up 2%, year to date? Moreover, if the Fed is buying U.S. debt, then why are yields soaring? Mind you, yields are not inching up. They are fucking soaring (see TLT).

If I was looking at this market, from a totally objective point of view, without all of the rhetoric, I’d surmise the economy was about to rip higher. Forget about all of the noise. The fact of the matter is, the Fed is aiming to buoy the economy, via POMO. What if it’s working? Is it possible that mystery money is finding its way into the economy, which will result in a sharp increase in employment?

Let’s be honest, we’ve become so jaded with regards to the economy that the very idea of it coming back is almost resentful to market pundits. We hate this economy and laud the fucking bullshit coming out of communist China. Think about it.

What we have right now is a steady dollar, rising equity markets, rising yields and soaring commodities. In my opinion, this trade will continue until commodity prices begin to impair corporate earnings via punitive input costs. Because of this thesis, I am 90% long, heavily in commodity related names, without fear of egregious bearshitter reprisals. However, I will be keeping an eye on yields and input prices, for they could easily change market sentiment on a dime, sending my holdings lower. Until then, up I go; up we go.

A lot of nervous nellies around these parts. You are haunted by previous transgressions and fear for the worst. However, your obvious lack of faith in Santa Claus is sinful and downright disgusting. There is a strong bid underneath this market. Granted, on any given day, stocks could shave 2-5% from your bullshit portfolios. But that’s part of the game. If you want to last the test of time, you will need to step your stock game up. You cannot simply rely on a few lines on paper and call yourself an investor. You are the bane of society, everything that’s wrong with America today. You want your coffee in a K-cup and you want it now, damn it.

Sometimes you need to wait and take an overhead view of things. Plot your moves with OCD like precision and accept losses as part and parcel of “the game.”

For the day, I ended up 1.4%. For the year, I am up more than 52% and I intend to break the 60% barrier by Dec. 31st. I have no problem, whatsoever, with pressing the envelope here, as my gains are all but assured. My cash position is back down to 10% and I am speeding in a car, made from dynamite, heading towards the fucking sun.

I’ve depleted much of my idle cash, in exchange for egregious equities. Moreover, I’ve taken it upon myself to book 100% returns in FTK, again and again and again. My personal (experimental) accounts are up more than 8 fold this year, all thanks and praise to The PPT. And, there is nothing you or your stupid friends can do about it.

You might placate your inner-woman by saying “he’s just saying that shit. He cannot be serious.” Quite the contrary Lady Magdalene. “The Fly” is as real as your face. He is to the financial blogosphere what TSA is to airport security. I’m molesting you fuckers with my high tech X-ray boxes and I’m the only airline in town. You can fly on one of those single engine fuckers if you like. However, you’ll eventually land into the face of a fucking mountain. You other bloggers out there are simply less than me. You can try to hit the ball far; but you only have warning track power. I suggest you subscribe to one of my services to get that mental steroid, so that you can impress your small list of clients.

As I roll into 2011, my winning streak continues to shock and awe ingrates across the globe (clients). For the most part, they do not deserve my services, as they are riddled with the same diseases that you have. Nonetheless,like a garbage man picks up shit on New Year’s day, this is my occupation and duty calls.

For the day, I am up another 2%, spearheaded by gains in BBRG, EXK (thanks Senator Gint), REXX, CCJ, AKS and LEI.

Nothing says “look at me, I’m fucking rich, ovah here, like putting a dollar sign in front of your title.”

Over the past week, I’ve been formulating my 2011 predictions. You must understand, I take this shit very seriously. Thus far, only RC and Chess have submitted their 2011 predictions to the iBC Auxiliary offices in Caracas. Failure to adhere to my edicts will lead to grave accidents upon your person. Consider this blog post fair warning to all iBC bloggers.

On that note, I am almost ready to hire another blogger. Albeit, the pay is lousy and management is very demanding. However, we have lots of room for growth here at iBankCoin. If you don’t piss me the fuck off through disloyal behavior, I might just throw you a bone or two. If you want to be noticed, post your stuff in The Peanut Gallery. I hire most of my bloggers from the PG. It’s like the minor leagues of iBC.

At the open, stocks will trade up. There are a few deals to speak of, namely DNEX and some oil and gas company from the UK. Bottom line: investment banks are foaming at the mouth to utilize corporate cash for mergers and acquisitions. Their sales pitches are very good and CEO’s understand why NOW is a perfect time to spend cash on acquiring real assets and businesses. I expect deal flow to heighten in 2011, thanks to record amounts of cash in company coffers.

With my money, I like VLNC, AKS, REXX, CCJ and EXK

In defense of NYC: do not think for a second that your mid-west hell is something that I desire, nor anyone with a modicum of class and/or intelligence would migrate into. The truth is: NYC has the finest restaurants, museums, theater and financial apparatus in the world. Comparing your butt-fuck state, littered with cows and rows upon rows of corn fields, is ridiculous and an abomination to all gentlemen, spanning the globe. Moreover, I am fully aware of how backwards people from down south are, with their childish religious beliefs and consummate social and financial humiliations. However, I am willing to “turn a blind eye” to my BBQ brethren to the south, in exchange for some sweet tea and homemade biscuits with gravy.

As an aside, I also find you ridiculous that you are suited in a burlap Santa Claus costume, shorting stocks before Christmas. Rule of thumb: when October goes gangbusters to the upside, NEVER short the Santa Claus rally. We will trade up tomorrow, whether you like it or not. Having said that, I will be using this week’s strength to book profits, in preparation for 2011. It is my belief, instinctively, that early 2011 will be challenging for equity investors. As a result, I intend to position accordingly.

Until then, I do like anything commodity based. It’s not important to give you picks right now, but a general outline. As you well know, I am chockful of ideas throughout the trading session, all which are disseminated in a timely fashion inside of The PPT (think X-mas present) and 12631.

The holidays aren’t gonna be joyous for all of you. Quit pretending you know anything and go with the flow.

Those are all of the words used to express my feelings about this tape. I sincerely hope you are capitalizing on this window of opportunity and cease using me as a contra-indicator. You figured after my VXX loss that when I went “all in” bullish, hell, the market was certain to plunge. When in reality, it was your own hubris that blinded you from the fact that I possess greater skills than you and my short-comings are nothing more than anomalies, flash in the pans. The longer term trend for The House of Fly is up, with honor and great repetition.

Closing out this post today, I am proud to be long CENX, EXK, REXX, AKS, CCJ, C, TEVA, even FORM (just to name a few).

There is nothing worse than having a nice lunch, sitting adjacent to some fucking moron who curses like a truck driver, throughout the entire meal. One of the biggest set-backs of living in NY, in my opinion, is having to deal with the unwashed, uncivilized, garbage men and women who populate this filthy city. I just about had enough of NYC and will be moving the family down south, at my earliest convenience.

While down south, I will behave in such a way that I always imagined a southern gentleman should act. I will act super nice to all of my neighbors, as well as strangers. I will even offer fresh glasses of lemonade to anyone who asks me a question. I will grow a large mustache and twist it up real nice and walk around in a white suit, blessed with blue pinstripes. My favorite foods will be smoked and I will enter and win BBQ contests, maybe even a chili contest when I am “really southern.” The truth of the matter is, “The Fly” is sick of the big stupid city. It has too many degenerate perverts in it. I’ll be damned if I raise my daughter around these imbeciles.

In other news, the market is going higher. As you might have noticed, I have a new edge when investing. I only buy stocks that go up now. In the past, I handicapped some of you retards, by losing a little bit. You know, I sort of allowed you to catch up, even the playing field a bit, by picking the occasional loser. However, I’m done with that game and have decided to only buy stocks that go up.Inside of The PPT, I have set ups for days, using our proprietary algorithms to search for breakouts. Just so you know, DMND was selected from my Window Dressing screen, at the very top of the list, indeud. Some other names on that list include WRLD, TTWO, PRAA, PFCB and CSTR.

My top picks, going into the weekend, are the same ones I posted here yesterday. So quit being so fucking lazy and read my prior posts.