10,000 Obscenities

As soon as I posted last night’s blog, I had a feeling a large slice of humble pie was readying to get tossed into my face. Hell, I was even on Twitter, laughing up a storm, talking about how the bears are about to get pummeled. ROFLMAOMG!!! I was walking around my hotel lobby, as if I owned the placed, barking out orders to the employees—because I had to be respected. I went to dinner last night, dressed in white robe and sandals, with a lit pipe, even though it was illegal. It did not matter, for I was about to make enough money today to buy California.

Fast forward a dozen hours and I am here, blogging, like a fucking jackass, while my stocks get beat like pinatas. Naturally, I am not selling yet. However, this is the sort of action that can drive a man crazy. The lack of consistency is troubling and I don’t have time to trade in and out all the time, like some sort of day trading jack-wagon.

At the end of the day, I will be painfully correct. In the meantime, I have a flight to prepare for; see you cowards later.

As my La Jolla vacation winds down, I’d  be remiss if I didn’t let you animals in on a little well known secret: “The Fly” never loses, ever. It may get repetitive and it may conjure up feelings of acute jealousy in many of you garbage men; but it’s true, so learn from me.

What recent wins do I speak of?

Answer: 100% long TNA, UCO, FAS etc. in my personal accts. For clients, I am fully invested amongst a myriad of high beta longs.

How do I time the market so perfectly?

Answer: The PPT

Am I just saying that to garner more business?

Answer: I could sell the algorithm for millions right now and cancel and refund all current subscriptions; but I choose to live with the little people.

Why?

Answer: I fucking hate the establishment.

How good is The PPT?

Answer: Ask my subscribers

See folks, what I have at my disposal is not the holy grail or some sort of crystal ball. It is not all I need or required to be a God-like investor. No. All I have here is an edge. A fucking edge over my competition. An edge over the other moronic bloggers in my field. A motherfucking edge over you, if you’re not part of my club. That’s all it is.

As I head out to another fine dining experience, as opposed to the fucking bullshit I endured with Chuck Bennet last night, feel comfortable in knowing “The Fly” is on your side.

Courtesy of The PPT

I really must be hurrying along now, as Mrs. Fly is a bit perturbed by insistence to gawk at today’s intra-day gains. I’ve been talking a lot of shit today. But, please understand, it is my right. We are barely moving here, up a mere 100. Following The PPT‘s Hybrid Oversold signal of three days ago, I expect at least 300 more points to the upside. With that in mind, I am positioned here for a bull-run; but will take hits to my ever-so-homosexual VXX position. Perhaps the CEO of SD can make a lateral move and become CEO of VXX?

At any rate, going into another merger Monday, I seriously doubt anyone with a modicum of intelligence will remain short. Who wants to be short BUCY into the weekend? Anyone? I didn’t think so.

My vacation ends Monday, so I will be back to the shitty NYC lifestyle in no time at all.

Today’s buys include TBT, ROP and FLS. I look forward to making more money on Monday, as it is my right, based upon the unbendable laws of Darwinism.

NOTE: It’s very funny to see DELL and HPQ measure their cock sizes through PAR. They both deserve shareholder revolts.

I added to my FLS and ROP positions.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the next time you visit the zoo monkeys will throw dung at you. And, you may lose money.

The GDP numbers were better than expected, in my estimation. However, out of nowhere, INTC came out with an earnings warning, sending the tradebots into a fucking scumbag’d hurry to sell futures. Howsoever, in an odd twist of events, one that could only be described inside of the meatgrinder, after a short halt, INTC’s shares opened higher. That’s right, liver lips, the fucking stock is “baked in”, trading in the $18 price range.

I’m going to be very upfront and forthright with all of you, as I feel it is my duty as a space alien magician to do so: I stand to make a great deal of money today, off of your margined short positions. As a point in fact, I intend to use your equity as tinder for my space shuttle jet fuel slush fund. Being long ample amounts of TNA, FAS and a variety of other longs, into this meatgrinder of a rally, makes me a smarter man than you.

See pal, in life, sometimes it’s important to remember the questions, for the answers have already been revealed. If you don’t believe me, go check out what the other seasoned veterans on iBC, Scott and Jakegint (CH), have to say about this market. I gather, you might find them to be somewhat smarter than you too. Understandably, the bar is not set too high, especially after your IQ has been denigrated by the toxins embedded in all of that  corn fed meat you choose to devour; you gluttonous pig!

Good day to you, Sir.

NOTE: I bought TBT.

Pardon the oddball hour of this blog, as I am within the confines of the gayest state in America.

Despite today’s tepid sell off, I find it most amusing to read the jackasses are out and about, discussing the great many atrocities that are about to afflict the general populous, by way of EGREGIOUS stock market losses. There are men out there, serious men in fact, that tell you the Dow will be no more than 3,000 points, inside of 1 year. There are bloggers out there who declare “the end is near, get ready to take bullets to the face.”

Well if “The Fly” must be the voice of reason and democracy, through freedom of great thinking and industry, so be it. We are not drowning in a deep sea of vomit, no, not yet! As a matter of fact, rest  assured, we are near the end of the recent market sell off and will soon spring board higher. Once this occurs, sentiment will change and people will become stupidly bullish again, just in time for my most appropriate departure from equities.

As for my recent on-doings:

I met with fellow blogger and iBC co-founder, Danny aka “Spydercrusher” today. We discussed a great many things over halibut ceviche and fish tacos, overlooking the magnificent Pacific ocean. As expected, Danny is a fine young man, well deserving of his place here at iBC.

Later on in the evening, I took the family out to meet HOWARD LINDZON, at some low end pizzeria, overlooking a few homeless guys near PETCO stadium. The funny thing about this backward pizzeria is they actually carded me at the door and then looked my party’s name up on some sort bullshit list of theirs, as if it were a high end club.  WTF, ROFL: it was a fucking pizza joint!? Needless to say, this place suited MR. LINDZON like cat and yarn.

In all seriousness, Howard and his family are great people and I value our friendship.

As for this market: get ready for the BEARDED CLAM, for he will amaze and surprise all, AND MORE, shortly.

People, this shit always happens in the summer, leading into the fall. You act as if this is the end of the universe, on our way towards an apocalyptic black hole or some shit. Every fucking summer, like clock-work, the markets get dicey. Then in the fall, we get crushed with devilish anvils. Then, finally, we run into the Thanksgiving-Christmas holidays. It’s as easy as greasy peasy.

Am I upset about today’s events?

Answer: yes.

Is it disturbing my vacation, which entails watching Jeremy diving into icy waters, not so much different than a fucking penguin?

Answer: no

You fuckers need to chill out and realize we are in a normal trading pattern, leading into the end of summer. If you think the downside is limited here, position for a rally. If you are disappointed with the results, after just 1 week, seek mental therapy.

If you’re gonna be in this game for longer than a few months and avoid aneurisms in your brain, you really need to eat more sandwiches and balance your portfolios out a little, pal. If you lose it all, you deserved to lose it, since you ignored risk management.

Keep some cash on the sidelines and buy your neighbors margin calls. The sky is not falling; you’re just too high on your own ego to figure it out.

NOTE: Once again, the culprit is the bond market. Keep watching TLT for evidence.

I do not get this sell off, which makes the market that much more fascinating to me. It’s like a never ending puzzle that changes all the time. The minute you have it figured out, BAM, it switches up on you. The greatest minds and most successful people in the world gravitate to the markets, not only for monetary reasons, but for the challenge. I could ramble on about how wrong you are and how awesome “The Fly” really, truly is, but that would help no one.

Instead, I want you to know that I am a beginner at this every single day. As much time and effort and experience garnered in the business, my approach is new, almost every single day. Throughout the years, I have developed thousands of different trading strategies and concocted countless theories, as to why stocks advance or decline. Some worked for awhile, others still work today (The PPT). However, the important message I am delivering to you, as you gawk at my Godliness from the “un-luxury” of your bullshit pleather chair from Staples, is this: be green.

In other news, I bought some ROP down here, looking for a 5 point run. And, I am about to get the flog out of here, en route for breakfast.

NOTE: The market will not rally without yen and TLT weakness.

As my west coast trip progresses, the market seems to be firming up here, especially now that all of the Hindenburg circle jerkers are out and about—galavanting around town—with their little facts and figures.  I spit on your facts. I shit on your figures. Actually, scratch the latter, for it is fairly disgusting. But you get my drift.

At the end of the day, when you bet against S.H.O.M.P, you get your face “ninja’d” the fuck off and your body gets paralyzed, as if you just got hit with a taser.

This early morning sell off is fucking bullshit, as all of the key ingredients for a rally are present. The dollar is weak, yen is weak, treasuries are benign and oil is up. What more do you want, an engraved invitation?

Going with The PPT‘s proprietary OVERSOLD signals, I bought some FLS yesterday, as it has been 80% accurate with its OS signals over a 5 day holding period. And, as you know, I am long UCO—based upon the unbendable laws of supreme and final mathematics.

On a personal level, I intend to finance my entire west coast excursion through my bountiful TNA position, which is terribly ripe for a run higher. All of these facts must confound a person, such as yourself. Some of you lower tiered bloggers must be like “WTF, OMG, that’s impossible.”

Incorrect, good sir. That’s where you are wrong. Believe it with your own eyes, else lose them during the great stock market rally of late August, 2010.

Off to wake up Jeremy, “the IT guy,” as he is staying in La Jolla as well.

UPDATE: I bought back my GMCR position, at least 50% of it.