Apple shit on shorts in haunting after-hours trading. It’s almost as if Steve Jobs came back to mudstomp shorts, one last time, before chilling out in some heavenly carrot farm. Apple derivative plays will shred bears tomorrow, equal only to the horrors of how the infamous chicken Mcnugget is fashioned.
Chickens are captured and punched in the face. Their legs are tied and beaks snapped off by line workers. Then they are shoved– alive– into filthy large “Mcnugget machines”, where they are turned into paste. The paste is collected by employees of McDonald’s, who happen to be goblins living off minimum wage, and first placed plainly into cardboard boxes, then into big plastic bags. The plastic bags are then tossed onto conveyor belts, where they gloomily travel under dimly lit halogen lamps, often flickering and pestered by vermin, then, finally, dropped into boiling water. While boiling, employees of the McDonald’s fish out the bags with grotesquely large nets, and placed onto metal tables– where other Mcdonald’s employees cut them open with knives.
MCNUGGET MACHINE
The cooked meat is rolled and hand inspected for loose feathers or pieces of beak, then sent merrily onto another conveyor belt to be breaded, “spiced” and shaped. After the meat is freeze dried and packaged, deviant truck drivers grab them and throw them violently onto trucks to be delivered to your local McDonald’s.
THAT’S WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN TO THE FUCKING SHORTS TOMORROW.
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