Fly Appreciation Day

As you know, today is “Fly appreciation day” on iBC. To commemorate “suchness” I will be out all day looking for places to live, things of that nature.

Later on tonight, I will devour a 2 1/2 inch thick rib eye, lightly peppered, heavily salted, washed down with a 2005 Bordeaux.

Futures are lower; but I don’t have time to think about that shit right now. Fucking dumbass stupid stocks.

You know by now that my favourite thing in the world is to rip the scalps off of shorts, clad in Indian Chief garb. What you don’t know is that I intend to take action almost immediately.

To further my violence upon the American people, I will sell one or two “non-core” stocks in order to weigh into a few stocks that are teetering on the brink of magnificence. Remember, “The Fly” is the Ajax of this blogging/finance game, comfortably prepared to empty the hot hot contents of his mug into your face.

Here is my list of potential squeezes, courtesy of this PPT screen (sorry, members only player), placed before you for the explicit purposes of banking coin.

FSLR

APKT

TEA

DMND

OSTK

LL

DDD

I’ll have more to choose from as time and price progresses. Generally speaking, I am looking for stocks with more than 15% of shares sold short, ranked “buy” by The PPT technically, with a volume score of 3 or higher (also ranked by PPT).

If  I don’t make something big happen now my year is in jeopardy of  falling victim to the mediocrity mob, sequestered away from greatness. It’s bad enough I barely made 5% last year. The clock is ticking and the world is watching. “The Fly” will not disappoint.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiCvOeTrwsY

Lots of bitching and complaining today, due to the low volume nature of this “fuck your face up” (no jigglypuff) rally. You can lose money on big volume or small; the result is always the same. Embrace the robot nature of the market and offer a special “fuck you” to all of those floor traders out of work.

Truth be told, I didn’t press the market the way I should have today, thanks to YELP sitting out the melt. But that’s okay ‘cuz I still made 2.1%, elevated by TDC, CPST, MAS, BID, GLW, CLR, RS and JWN. If you missed out on today’s rally, don’t worry, there’s a lot more coming. I was worried about the tape because of Europe. But while they’re throwing fistfuls of cocaine into the fan, I have nothing to fear.

After the bell, all eyes are on INTC.

The AAPL has been dislodged from the markets throat, allowing stocks to fucking rip tits higher. Many of you are stuck in FAZmobiles, in flames, heading uncontrollably for ravines. I am only grateful for not selling, holding my positions during the darkest of hours. But now things are different, aren’t they? You’ve been dispatched, Sir. Bernanke has imprisoned you, tightly restricted inside of his clam.

All of the short squeezes I mentioned are blowtorching higher. Now you can try to fight this all you want, professing the grave dangers of Europe and a weak US jobs market. But at the end of the day, you get hot tea tossed into your fucking face, coked out horses kicking you in the fucking chest, hit by printing presses while you’re sleeping, killed over and over again.

Does anyone else find it reprehensible, aside from me, that Congress is suing Roger Clemens for a second time for perjury, regarding steroids? These fucking lunatics have nothing else to do than fuck around with professional athletes, yet how many bankersters are still on the loose enjoying life? If convicted, Clemens faces 30 FUCKING YEARS IN PRISON. Also, did you know there is a bill in Congress that will restrict travel for anyone who owes the IRS money? Say hello to the full fledged, in your face, version of authoritarianism in America.

Futures are sharply higher despite weaker than expected housing data. But no one gives a shit about housing. We’re fixed on iPhones versus Androids, while laughing at the Canadians for the Blackberry.

Truth be told, I didn’t expect the market to climb today. But the Spanish bond auction went better than expected and Euro-trash shares responded favourably. It appears FSLR is laying off 2,000 of 7,000 workers. What a mind numbing decline from grace for the buttfuckers at FSLR.

Lastly, CPST caught another sizable oil and gas contract. Don’t look now, but CPST now gets about 60% of its revenue from the oil and gas industry. This is a turn around story; but none of the anal workers on Wall Street are paying heed.

Well pay heed fuckers. I will gladly accept the extra coin allotted to me this morning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S-TK-AMQgc

The PPT does a lot of things right. I tend to gravitate towards mean reversion because that’s my comfort zone. But it’s also very good for catching momo trades. Case in point: AAPL

Apple has been ranked a “buy” since November of 2011, when the stock was in the mid 300’s. As of today, it is still ranked a buy and the score is nowhere near a sell rating.

However, there are some stocks that saw it’s score get smashed today. Here are the standouts.

CRM, LNKD, MA, LO, VALE, TDC, MNST, BIDU, CMG, YUM, V, PAY and SBUX.

That’s pretty much the who’s who in momentum stocks on wall street, all saddling near 52 week highs. Now there are two schools of thought at play here. Some people are waiting for these names to sell off to get in. Others are waiting for breakdowns to start shorts. Since this is all happening, ever so conveniently during earnings season, I gather we will find out who is right and who will die in fairly short order. At this stage, it’s getting harder to just buy and forget. Scott Bleier might be right about his psychopath 4/16 prediction after all.

Horrific trading action, accentuated by steep declines in tech, led by AAPL. I hated today more than any other day because it was sneaky. The gains in the Dow only masked the true carnage.

PREPARE FOR LOWER PRICES.

Regrettably, I did not lighten up this morning and now find myself melancholy from being 110% long into a shit filled tape. I need to start selling right away. If we are on the other side of the mountain, there will be an enormous price to pay for being so heavily long.

I will deal with this HORSESHIT tomorrow. Until then, watch Asian and European markets for a tell. I will only be wrong if Asian markets ignore today’s tech debacle and charge higher.

Wow, what a singular market! For sure, after this mornings sharp sell off I felt the market was in danger of shitting itself. Aside from nasdaq weakness, the Dow is now honey badgering the fuck higher–near the highs of the day. Everything is sort of whipsawing around, leaving me baffled about the next direction.

Like they say “when in doubt, eat a sandwich.” I am doing exactly that.

Shares of YELP were a buck higher; but now they’re a buck lower. If I bought 25,000 shares, it would probably move to flat. Point being: it’s thinly traded and volatile. After the housing data, MAS tanked hard; but now it’s back celebrating life again, doing lines of blow.

No one knows what the fuck is going on, just that’s it’s on and ongoing.

Until something breaks or explodes, I will remain in a catatonic state, gawking at the market in front of me.

NOTE: SSYS is merging with an Israeli printer co, lifting 3-d printer company DDD in sympathy. Fuck!

Futures are sharply higher based upon a variety of factors, namely retail sales. But Europe was trading up before our retail sales, so it’s worth noting risk appetite is alive and well. To reiterate the point from my previous post, stocks burdened by heavy short positions will benefit the most in a market like this. There are two reasons why this is true.

1. Short sellers provide liquidity and a bid in stocks due to covering.

2. When short sellers and natural buyers converge on a stock at the same time the results can be explosive, sending a stock up much more than other “non-shorted” stocks.

However, one must understand there is a reason why certain companies are heavily shorted. More often than not, short sellers have done their homework and will end up being correct on stocks they bet against. Case in point: Chinese burrito stocks. I tend to look at most stocks, especially heavily shorted ones, as short term trades. If I can make 10-20%, in a short period of time, on a shorted stock, I am more than obliged to take profits. For the love of rabid dogs, I am eager.

Last week I re-purchased RS and FORM, two old positions of mine. It appears RS guided up this morning, always a good thing. Plus, another one of my positions, JWN, caught an upgrade this morning. With Dow futures +80, I find myself 110% long into a decent rally. I need to make some headway here, after underperforming the rest of you cow-fuckers for the past month. So I will make my coin here and outstrip the rest. The next set of moves will be to lighten up on my longs and prepare for a bastard of a summer.

I’ve been to over 100 shitty homes in both New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Most of you live like pigs. Since you’re living above your means, your homes are horribly decorated and your kitchen cabinets are shit. Your bathrooms possess nothing of quality and your basements are stupid. It’s better to live in a home that is easily afforded and decorate it like a castle, than living in 5,000 square feet of squalor. For some of you younger guns out there, shopping for the mansion, feeling all hard and shit, think twice about that. Should your position materially change, you will loathe the day you decided to buy a home above your means.

As of now, Senor Tropicana will be homeless by summer, roaming the country in his mobile execution vehicle, trading stocks from his fucking commode.

Futures are soft and Asia is down. But I don’t give a shit about that. As a matter of fact (and this is true), I hardly care about anything at all, aside from my family. Nothing you can say or do will make me feel sentimental, as I have spent inordinate hours planning your demise instead of friendship. I can very easily declare war upon you and drag you into the mud, like a scalded dog in China. But I am generous and would like nothing more than to simply outstrip you from now until death.

But my favourite thing in the world is not any of that. I’ve decided, after careful debate, I enjoy short squeezes more than anything else. To put it plainly, a successful short squeeze not only equates my grande success, but the heart wrenching defeat of some other fucktard, likely clad in a grease stained tie and rubber soled shoes.

Therefore, as of today, “The Fly” will be fixed on short squeeze opportunities, obsessing on the mechanics of how one might emerge and why certain bearshitters deserve to be punched, royally, in the nose with jelly donuts. Hell, I might even launch a hedge fund directed at this very thesis, striking fear into the shallow hearts of those positioned wrongly.

According to The PPT, the following stocks are in classic short squeeze pain trap mode.